I want another baby, but.....?

Question

I made the comment at work when another woman walked by with her newborn that I want another baby. I got SEVERAL comments that I need another baby like I need a hole in the head. MY fiance has only said that we need a bigger place and we plan on moving next year to a larger apt or a home of our own.

I won't pretend that our finacial status is great, we live paycheck to paycheck. But we are paying off and closing out credit cards, as soon as there is 0 balance it gets CLOSED! Aside from a bigger place he has left the entire thing up to me on when.

I only want two kids and my daughter is 17 months old. I think she needs a little brother or sister and I don't want them to be far apart in age.

Opinions? How far apart are your kids? I don't know what the question realy here is, I just need some thoughts on the subject.

Thanks!

Another factor is my mom. Everytime I feel a little sick (even justa cold) she gets this disgusted tone in her voice going "You're not pregnant again are you?"

My sister and I are 6 years apart. We are close as friends (then again I think that has something to do with how our mother raised us, I was a mistake she wasn't).

Anyways, everyone tells me not to listen to my mommy, but they don't understand the situaton. SHE CALLS ME ALL THE TIME! If she isn't calling me she is text messaging me and if she isn't doing that she is coming over to "see her grandbaby". It just seems like she is ALWAYS around and even though I do what I want I still can't.

We were trying to find a bigger place THIS year and I found a few that we could afford, she told me no because they are bad areas (even though my friends told me otherwise) and she will never come over. While that might seem like a good thing, she will also never stop reminding me how awful the place is. I just give up.

We will get married when he is done paying off the back child support to his other two kids (11 and 9 this year) because his exwife would get the federal income tax and we need that money too. He is working hard on it and sending every spare penny we have. She get 750 to 800 dollars per month while he brings home 600 (615 is the current and the rest goes to back child support).

I was more my choice and he just supports it. It is our daughter.

I do think she will make a great big sister and a great helper. I am watching her now put away her toys and throw trash away and sitting down to look at book. She knows it is time for bed.

Thanks for all the help, I'll need to sit down and talk to my fiance some more.

Thank you!

Answer 1

I wanted to get pregnant again the day after I had my son. I know, I'm crazy, but I love kids and I've always wanted a big family. Everyday after I had my son my mom calling saying "you better not get pregnant again". It drove me crazy! My husband left for Iraq right after our son was born so there was no way for me to give him a sibling. I got pregnant two weeks after he got back (my son was 10 months). My mom kept saying how it was so unfair to Brandon (my son) and he wasn't going to get anymore attention and he'd have all these responsibilities before he was 2!!! What my mom doesn't realize is that, unlike her, I'm not letting my older children raise my younger. My sister raised me and we raised my brother and that's not how it should be. Brandon seems to understand something is different and is now obsessed with mommy's belly. He toddles over and rubs my belly and talks to it (he's only 13 months, how cute it that?!?).
We also live paycheck to paycheck. My husband is a Marine and I got out of the Navy to stay at home with my son. I've learned, that when you have to, you can get very creative and stretch that paycheck. I think if you want to get pregnant right away, go for it! Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

I have a 31month old and a 18 moth old. ANd i am so gald they are close. I am now pregnant with my third.. my first was born dec 2 the next was born dec 31 net year, and this one is due dec 6...you know what...my boys are the best of friends. I had a great day today, because all the did was play together the whole day. close is good. There are four ciblings in my family. i am a twin , then i have an older sister..2yrs, and an older brother 4 years. and we are all close... I am an advocate for having kids at close ages. And honestly...the second child isnt that much more of an added expense...seiously..you already have the crib, etc.... there are ways to budget, and you woudnt even feel the pinch!!! as far as your mom is concerned.... is she the one going to carry it, and take care of it for the next 20 years????? NOT HER DECISION. She can back off, you have your own family and you do what works for you. did i mention my boys are sharing a room? and it works fine!!!! even for naps and bed time. If your waiting to be financially secure. f rget about ever getitng pregnant. LIFE happens. You will never be financially ready!!!

Answer 3

I don't see any problem with having another child especially since you guys are taking care of your credit cards and other bills now thats a good start. Ok for your mom to say you was a mistake is just wrong REALLY. But sounds like you got a plan on what you want to do with your life and your family. Go ahead move into a bigger place where your mother doesn't approve. Yes she's your mother but hey you got your family to raise she needs to realize that, you are doing this for you guys and not for her. Fine if she won't come to visit you and the baby then too bad for her she is the one that will hurting your lil girl.
But I too am thinking about having another child. I have a 4 year old girl and a 2 yr old boy. So I'm thinking of having another child here bout another year just to keep them close in age. All though my 2 fight like cats and dogs I mean they are a boy and girl, they are close as ever and love each other dearly. I'd say keep them at least 1 to 2 yrs apart that way you have one almost out of diaper's and one still in diaper's because you know and I know that those aren't cheap even though they make Store Brands still. Good Luck Though.

Answer 4

Well it sounds like to me that you and your fiance have already come up with a plan...but when do you plan on getting married? Is the child you have now his? If so then why has it taken so long for the two of you to tie the knot... ???? Non the less... haveing a baby is somthing the 2 of you need to decide on...My kids are 5yrs apart...but not by choice..lol... I think 2-3 years is a good time span, this will give them a good age spead and this will give them the time they need to bond. If and when you decide to have another baby,,, just make sure the first one is involved... show the pictures of the sonogram... let him/her feel the baby move... this is important during preg.. also after the baby is born... let him/her... hand you a diaper.. powder... watch the baby get a bath... etc... involve him/her as much as possible... this will make the bonding go smooth, and it will also make him/her feel very important.

Answer 5

Louie Blake Florida Ava Loren Charlie Edwin Grace Elizabeth great, classic English cottage. Joseph Oliver Billy Christopher Eleanor Tori Lou Ava Char gray Joe bill Ella

Answer 6

I think if it is something you both want then do it. My kids are three years apart and I am trying for another one soon because they would be 4 years and 7 years if I conceive anytime soon. Anyway, my two daughters fight constantly and I think if I had had them closer together maybe it would be different. Of course, it is totally up to you and don't listen to everyone else, do what feels right to you. I am in the same situation you are, it seems all my friends totally disagree with me to have any more kids right now but I want to have all my kids before I am 30 so if you want to do it, then DO IT!!!!! Good luck!!!

Answer 7

Have a baby when you are ready mentally, and finacially because you want the best for your kids you do not want them to want for anything or wish they had so you want to be set finacially for that and also so you can have the best healthcare around. Mentally you need to ask yourself are you ready for a new journey of raising a child and teaching them the best things and also is your mind settled enough from the first pregnancy and have your emotions cleared up and so on cause you do not want to amp out on the new babe when he or she is whimpering you know so just go through your mind and the fiance' and then see if it is what you want right now

Answer 8

Well i can just say that my mother is the same way everytime i get sick its your pregnate arent you and i just roll my eyes and blow her off. I have two kids who are only 21months apart. I think its better that they are closer in age. And i can tell you that we werent very stable lol well in fact we were still living with my f-in-law when i got preg with the second one belive me i feel your pain. But we managed to move into our own house and my hubby got a job working for the state he doesnt make great money but we get by. Everything will work out if you let it.

Answer 9

My advice is to do what you want to do and what you are happy with. The people who make comments are not the ones who pay or raise your children so you do what you feel you want to do. I have 3 children all under the age of 7 and I am not rich and I am not poor, but I do say they have what they need and some extra and they have unconditional love. I do believe everything happens for reason a nd God gives you what he thinks you can handle, so if you get pregnant you are blessed. If you need any advice please feel free to email me at [e-mail] or [e-mail]. good luck

Answer 10

Statistics show that having your children about 2 years apart provides for the least ammount of sibling rivilry. There is no reason to listen to all your co workers and such it is a decision for you and your husband to make. That is it. Go for it! I am right with you on that one girl! I can't wait to have another baby!