should i continue taking my 4 yr old to t-ball if he doesnt like it?

Question

i dont want him to think its ok to quit things once you have started, but yet it is supposed to be fun, which he obviously isnt having, and he is only 4.

i wasnted to add that we have talked to him about why, and he says that it because his legs hurt, he is hot, and the other kids said something ugly to him "you cant hit the ball hard, or something like he cant run fast enough" anyway, i really think that it has alot to do with his feelings getting hurt. which we are going to talk with the coach about. his first game is on friday and i wil be out of town : (
hubby is going to take him and if absolutley does not want to go then, we will not make him.
thanks for all your advice so far.

Answer 1

No, I wouldn't force him. At this age, he should be experimenting with different activities, learning what he likes and doesn't like. Trying something for the first time and discovering that you don't enjoy it or benefit from it is a completely acceptable reason for anyone to abandon a project, much less a child.

Obviously, he needs to learn to live up to a commitment, but at age four, he doesn't have a clear idea of what constitutes a commitment. Let him try a few different things so that he can figure out what he enjoys doing. Lessons in the merits of dedication should begin after he finds something worth being dedicated to. Forcing him to continue would probably just build resentment, not character.

Good luck, and thanks for being a good mother. The fact that you can admit when you're unsure and ask questions about your own parenting says a lot about how seriously you take your role as a parent. The world needs a lot more like you.

Answer 2

Try to find out why he doesn't like it. When I was in elementary school, I played the flute. My parents went to the expense of getting a flute for me to play. A few weeks into it, I didn't want to go. My reason was because I had to play "Mary Had A Little Lamb." That wasn't so bad, but my front tooth was loose and hanging on by a thread. I was scared that my front tooth would get stuck in the mouthpiece, so I didn't want to play flute any longer. My point is that you should get to the root of the reason why he doesn't like it. It could be a teammate, a coach, or something else that he might be frightened of. If it is truly because t-ball is just not his fortay, you could give him a couple of options - persuade him to stick it out a little longer and give him a reasonable timeline, then check in with him to see how it is going after each practice, or if he wants to end it right away, you can do so, but have a talk with him about finishing things you start so he will understand when another opportunity comes up for an activity that you expect him to stick with it. Be sure to encourage him as well even if he doesn't hit a homerun! (The little ones always tend to hit "up" instead of into the field!!). They need encouragement!! Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hmmm. Let me hold your head underwater. And let me do this once a day. Whenyou decide you don't like, I will continue to do it. How's that sound?

If he doesn't like it, find out why? Does he have trouble hitting the ball? or catching a ball? Do kids make fun of him?

if he has trouble hitting or catching, work with him in the backyard. If that doesn't seem to help have his eyes checked.

Check and see if he understand the point of the game and how to play.

There is a difference between quitting and changing sports. I would try to talk him into playing it out. After the season try something different.

Then you didn't quit.

Answer 4

I went through the same thing with my son. We tried soccer for 2 years but he just wasn't into it. In the middle of the last season he wanted to quit, so I made a deal with him. Finish this season, and then we will check out other activities he might want to try. That gave him something to look forward to, taught him you can always start something new once you finish what you have already started, and got him through the rest of the season.
At that age it is hard for them decide what they really like, so I try to give my son every opportunity to try new things, whether it be sports, cub scouts, or play-dates. As they grow up they will remember all the different things they tried, realize they learned something new from each experience, and might even go back to one they really didn't like before.

Answer 5

I'm going through something similar... My 4 year old did excellent (attitude wise / not skill:) ) in his first couple of practices and his first game. The second game he fell apart, even before going out on the field. I can sympathize with you on how hard this decision is. It's easy for outsiders to say, 'just let him quit'. (our son seems to be having some social anxiety - with the new coach and other parents saying his name (encouraging him)).

In your situation, I think it might be best to supervise closer at the next game (parents are aloud to help) that way you can see what is getting said... and maybe help 'parent' the situation if the children are saying inappropriate things. (that is, if he does seem to enjoy the sport). Maybe help teach him how to respond to the impolite comments. (how he's doing his best)

Best of Luck, parenting is a rough thing... trying to teach them good values and balancing confidence can be a rough one!

Answer 6

I would say to withdraw from the team, if your child does not want to participate. This seems to be common among children under 7.

In the United States there seems to be this big push to have our children join and achieve in sports at young ages. At four y.o. most kids have just learned to play together in small groups without rule structures like organized sports. They do not have the social skills and for the most part are not physically developed to succeed in most team sports. The begets frustration and/or boredom.

Do not worry that your kid may not become the next sporting star. In Brazil, they do not allow their children to start soccer until age 7.

Answer 7

absolutely not. Don't make him do anything that is suppose to be "fun", if he doesn't like it. When my daughter started gymnastics I told her that if she really wanted to do it I would take her. But, she had to continue to the end of the term because I had to pay for it. Now it has been 2 years and she decided this was going to be the last time she did it. so, as she grows so will her preference of sports.

Answer 8

Maybe you should try involving your son in a different activity. Don't force him to do something he doesn't like, but if he refuses to partake in any activity, then you should keep him involved in some sort of activity. Use a few months to let your son experiment with soccer, art, dance, or other kinds of activities that he might find interesting. Give your son the choice of which activity he participates in. It will help teach your son to try out different activities in the future (could be related to jobs or high school activities) until he finds the one that truly stimulates his interest. Good luck!

Answer 9

I'd say take him off of the t-ball team if they are going to be mean to him. I have a 4 yr old daughter I'm looking into enrolling her into some Karate Class. Now I'm sure your son would like it because it would be in an A/C studio and he won't be HOT as he put it. And I'm sure there won't be kids there who would be mean to him more like helping him. Good Luck

Answer 10

Why isn't he having fun. get to the bottom of it. Is the coach too intense, does he sit on the bench and get bored.

My son thought it was boring, then he became a catcher. They do not have to stand and wait for a ball to be hit.

Face it baseball is boring. Can't get around that.

Make sure there are after practice and game treats, orange slices, cool drinks etc