How can I peacefully say "no" to watching my neice 5 days a week?

Question

She is 6 months old and currently I watch her 3 days a week along with my two children. I work part time outside the home (hubby is home with our two kids) then when I get home her parents (my sister and brother in law) bring her over at 1pm, my husband goes to work and I have her and my kids until 9pm when she is picked up. I feel I really have a full plate already and the two afternoons that I don't have my neice I use to grocery shop for my family and run errands, & pay bills/etc. If I had her 5 nights a week I think I would never get anything done, including my housework. The situation is that they've already told my mother that they changed their hours at work and are planning on bringing him to me 5 days a week. BUT they haven't told me or asked me yet! How can I say no without hard feelings between relatives? I love my sister and brother in law a lot but I can't do everything.

3 days a week is as much as I'm willing to do at this point.

Yes I know I miss-worded my paragraph. I said "him" once instead of her. Got my thoughts crossed.

Answer 1

Be honest and tactful at the same time. Something like: "You know I love watching her but I honestly just can't do 5 days a week. As you know, I also work and so I need some days to do all the things I need to get done. I hate to say no, but I have no choice...it will just be more than I can handle."

Answer 2

Just say, "I'm sorry, but I have housework to do and errands to run, and I simply cannot spare more time for babysitting than I already am." And if they give you a hard time, point out that it is really unfair to ask it of you, and you don't like to cause trouble in the family, but you feel they are causing the trouble, not you, by asking too much.

Frankly, I think you are doing too much already, but it is family, and I understand your reluctance to be firm with them. Tell me, could they afford to pay someone? If not, perhaps the problem is they really need to reassess their own priorities, and let the child's mom stay home more. Often women who work when they have small children do not cover their own expenses working, and come up negative on the budget.

Answer 3

work and are planning on bringing •••him••• to me 5 days a week. I thought it was a girl? Anyways, tell them you really can't do that and refer them to a good babysitter or daycare. Perhaps your neighbourhood has a kid that watches more than one child at a time so all the neice and your children can go there and mummy gets some "me time".

Answer 4

Just give them all the reasons you stated here. You worded it very tactfully and peacefully. Tell them you are glad to help out but that 3 days is the limit. Surely they will understand that you need family and personal time, too. You have to do what is right for your family and they need to be more considerate of your time. Good luck.

Answer 5

The only thing for you to do is to explain it to her exactly the way you explained it here. If you don't speak up now, (how's the saying go, forever hold your peace)you'll be saddled with the baby sitting. Go to them first before they bring it up with you. Tell them it's a good thing you only have the baby 3 days a week because you need afew days of your own to complete your personal affairs or something to that effect.

Answer 6

Tell them the truth that you are stretched thin right now, be firm tell them they will need to find someone within 2 weeks. Be sure to let them know that you adore your niece and that you love all of them, but you have too much on your plate. Family tends to take advantage of one another, as for them changing their hours without discussing with you is totally out of line. They are just assuming that you have nothing better than to babysit for them. You should invite them over and sit down and calmly talk this over with them, just be firm and don't budge. I wish you luck!!

Answer 7

The love you have for your sister should also be equal to the love she has for you. Why is she telling your mom when its really you that will be taking care of the kids. Did you tell your mom that you also need time for doing the things that you need to do. It would seem that your sister may be taking advantage of you. Go ahead and let your sister know that you'll need the time you need for your self... If he is unwilling to listen or gets upset then you have another issue.... of being abused...

Answer 8

i can not start to comprehend your suffering suited now to your nieces. i'm so sorry and that i'll desire to your loved ones. do no longer worry concerning the hurtful issues human beings say at here. some human beings have no heart and think of that because of the fact we are nameless that they are able to assert what they please and it won't touch them. wellbeing spiteful in a time of such soreness is an poor component to do. How could desire to a father seem at his little females and pull a collection off. what happens to his concept technique, why did no longer his love for them end him from doing this form of awful component. i'm going to ask the Lord to help you and your loved ones to comprehend this tragic time on your lives. And to wrap his loving palms around you and supply you convenience. God bless you and help you, could his love fill your loved ones and help you thru all it particularly is to return.

Answer 9

Just explain that to them. Explain to them that you don't have time for it, that you use those days for something else you have to do and you have a full plate already and just can't take on anything more right now. I'm sure they'll understand if you just explain it to them.

Answer 10

tell her just that, hopefully they'll understand what kind of pressures you have in your life already. maybe you can specify how many days/week you can watch her, or do a trade off where they watch your kids so that you can have some free time as i'm sure you could use some time for yourself.