If there is a man, 14 years older than oneself, and the relationship is good, great lovemaking, great conversation. BUT no security. No savings, no regular job, lives with family..... what then? I work hard, earn my money, pay rent, bills, in short I am independent. He says he will change. Do people ever really change?
2006-06-14 12:02:02 · 7 answers · asked by nextmountain81 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That depends on the persons will and strength of character. There are a good many people who are completely capable of changing, if they really have the desire and drive to do so. But, they must have that desire/drive, otherwise they never will change. You, personally, must decide whether or not this man is capable of such change, and you must base it on reality, not personal hopes and dreams. If you deem not, then you should get rid of him as quickly as possible, as you are only being used as an excuse for him not to have to pay his own way. If you deem so, then help him to change so that you are not the only one always providing for him. You must judge whether or not he has the strength of character, will, and desire to want to change.
2006-06-14 12:08:09 · answer #1 · answered by pilotmanitalia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People can change...over a long period of time and with the right support. You can't change the guy, but you can offer him a chance to change his lifestyle/life, and then help him with that to help form better living habits. If he takes you up on that, great. If not, well, you must make the choice if you will leave him or just have a lazy, non-contributing man in your life.
2006-06-14 12:22:08 · answer #2 · answered by futurenovelist16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As Trump says, people don't really change. Love is important, but you need the practicals to carry your relationship through in the end. The fact that you're questioning about his financial responsibilities is a strong indicator that it will continue to bother you later. Money is one of the major reasons why couples fight. Don't get into it. Break it off before you get too wrapped up into it! Run!!!!!
2006-06-14 12:10:02 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never change a man, he has to do that himself.
Are you sure he's not with you because you are independent and he is not looking for someone to take care of him (financially). Men tend to do that these days, The woman working their butts off, and he is home relaxing and enjoying her money. You have to be careful getting yourself involved with someone like this!!
2006-06-14 12:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some need a kick start and some like the way they live and love to be supported. There are plenty of guys out there that can take care of theirselves as well as you
2006-06-14 12:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part, no. They can change many aspects of themselves but their core never changes. A leopard can't change it's spots.
2006-06-14 12:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by ntoriano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to the extent you need him to change, shame though sounds like a nice guy
2006-06-14 12:32:42 · answer #7 · answered by Karen S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋