I don't only have daughters my son is 2,but I can handle him.I have also remarried,but I don't think it is her place to help with my kids I think it is my place until she and I have kids of our own.
2006-06-14 09:53:27 · 28 answers · asked by Ty 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I HAVE A SON.
2006-06-14 10:05:39 · update #1
When your daughters have their periods don't ask questions, just buy them tampons. Be really cool and fun so they see you as a dad but one they can talk to. Also your wife (the second one) she can help out. I have step kids and I'm less than delighted to help out with them sometimes but I know that in marrying the love of my life that thats something I'll have to do.
2006-06-14 09:58:27 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well, the best response I can give you is to try to find someone on their mother's side of the family that would be willing to help with the girl issues. You are fully capable of handling them, and so is your new wife, however the girls might not take to the advice or the information as well as they would someone who was closer to their mother. If that doesn't work, contact a gynecologist and ask for some assistance in explaining things to your daughters. Also, now that you are remarried, don't think it isn't your new wife's place, because she married you knowing you had children, perhaps ask her if she is comfortable with helping you, that is what she said I DO for. Talk to your wife...then take steps from there.
2006-06-14 09:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By looking at the other questions you have posted today...
I suggest that you find a local family therapist to meet with once a week with you and your daughters. The therapist can certainly help with the issues you have been dealing with. Also, a local fathers support group or parenting support group.
If your current wife is open to helping you with your daughters and the issues you are dealing with, then let her. No, she won't ever be "mom" but she can certainly be a good step-parent and help them with the "female issues" and other issues that your family is dealing with.
Before you know it, your 12 year old will have her first period (if she hasn't already) and you'll be scrambling to figure out how to handle that too. Enlist the help of your wife, mother, ex-wifes mother, sister, etc if you are not comfortable with a therapist.
You obviously need assistance... real time, live, helpful assistance. More than you can get by posting questions on Yahoo looking for a "quick fix".
Best wishes!
2006-06-14 10:06:52 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With their mom gone, I think that you need to treat your new wife as a full partner in the raising of you children. Both your daughters and your son need to be able to bond with their stepmother and if you set boundaries on how much she's allowed to participate then you're hindering the bonding process. Besides, your girls might feel more comfortable talking to a woman about some of those more embarrassing girl things. Bookstores usually have a pretty good selection of age appropriate books for answering some of the more difficult questions that kids ask about their bodies, sex, peer pressure etc. Reading a book together with them can help with the uncomfortable feeling of trying to find your own words to explain things.
2006-06-14 10:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, my condolences on the loss of your wife. Second, I disagree with you about your new wife not being there to help with your daughters. That is what marriage and commitment are all about...she didn't just marry you, she married the family. Let her be there to talk with them about the girl things, and if she doesn't want to, you might want to rethink this whole relationship. Your kids should always come first.
Last, years ago I bought a great book for my daughter, perfect for both your daughter's ages. It was by American Girl and it's called The Care and Keeping of You...The Body Book for Girls. It covers so many important topics. You can get it here or any bookstore. They also have many other helpful and practical books.
http://store.americangirl.com/pls/ag/AG_pagestyle?catid=375861&groupid=51662
Also, if you have any sisters or other female relatives, make sure they are around to help out and be there for your girls.
Good luck!
2006-06-14 10:07:00 · answer #5 · answered by ziggylibra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight you have 2 girls and you are remarried. You think she doesn't have any business helping with your children, yet you think strangers do? Your wife is the best person to help you through the difficult times with your children. She would probably be thrilled to know you trusted her judgment. when she married you the children became hers too especially since their natural mother is gone. The girls need a female role model and you can help them by trusting your wife to help care for them as if they were her own
2006-06-14 10:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I went thru the same, but you gotta let the step be some kind of parent, but its so stressful. Girls are so opinionated, never let them forget where they came from, keep their mother alive. Find some aunts, or cousins, other females in their lives. I lived thru the same, going on 12 yrs now with 2 kids. I never let their step become a replacement, and it was always a definite problem. If you want IM mamaSanFilippo64. Take care of those girls.
2006-06-14 10:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didn't just marry you, she married you kids too. Don't put a wedge in between your children and your new wife. If your children feel comfortable enough to talk to her about girl issues then let them. As far as the girl issues go get your 12 year old the book. Our Bodies Ourselves. It will explain all the things that girls go through when they start to blossom into womanhood. Be patient with your girls.
2006-06-14 11:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by chelsb1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that. You got remarried and your new wife didn't come into just your life. She came into your kids life too. If she is a nice person, you daughters should be able to go to their step mom with girl questions. Or their is friends mom's. If they are embarrassed to ask directly, they could ask their friends and they could go to their mom's.
2006-06-14 10:01:42 · answer #9 · answered by brittme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have remarried, then it is her place to help you with the kids--especially when it comes to answering questions as the girls are moving into puberty.
Talk to your wife about your concerns and ask her if she will let the girls know that they can come to her with questions. She will probably be happy to know that you feel you can trust her with something so important.
2006-06-14 10:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by Jill W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋