How do I confront my boss about his bad manners?

Question

I am the only female out of 35 employees. When other employees are discussing a client to the owner who is male, who got upset with them, if that client is female, the owners response is always "It's that time of the month" or "menopause". The first time I told him that was inappropriate and I would prefer he not make those comments in front of me. He just laughs it off. He said it again today, and when I tried to discuss it with him, his reply was "if the truth hurts" and walked out the door. He's constantly swearing, yelling, throwing a temper tantrums. I am beyond tired of it. He is also my brother-in law. Quiting is not an option at this point.

Answer 1

The man you describe is crude and disrespectful. You care not going to be able to change him, so you have to change your job or change your attitude. Changing your attitude means that you must always present yourself as a humble, honest, hard-working, kind person. In the meantime, be working on a resume. Good luck !

Answer 2

I work in a law firm like this. You sure we're not co-workers??? The head of the firm is a screamer and is condescending and rude. But he pays very well! I have just learned to let what he says go in one ear and out the other. He screams all day long, so I just figure he's screaming WITH me rather than AT me. I am a female attorney in a firm with all males - who are all older than me and with more experience (set in their ways!). They sometimes make sexist comments, but there's nothing really that you can do about it. Either you just ignore it and think they're all a$$holes or you find another job.

Answer 3

Your bro-in-law does not have the proper attitude to be a professional or maybe he is turning to usurpation of power being the big boss. That's not a valid reason to throw fits, curse, make inappropriate remarks. It is simply unbecoming of a good "leader." He is definitely a "manager" and not a "leader." I will sit him down one time, perhaps when he is in a good mood (does he ever have one?) to "suggest" he mellows down with his inappropriate behaviour and remarks. If he does not take constructive criticism then just leave. There is no point wasting your precious time and resources to someone who is not worth working for. Besides, who wants to work for a bad boss?

Don't ruin your composure for something or someone not worthy of it. Move on...there are millions of opportunities waiting out there.

Answer 4

If he's your brother-in-law, then just bluntly tell him to shove it in front of your co-workers. He's pushing you around with those comments, don't let him. Perhaps respond in kind when a male client is discussed: "Whoo, sounds like someone's viagra failed him!" or "well, you know, past 45, they just can't get it up as regularly."

Answer 5

Because he is your brother-in-law, and because he knows you need the job, that's why he is doing this to you. Because he can. You are a safe target.

Am i right in assuming he is your sister's husband?

If so, why not tell *her*? Why not let *her* make his life miserable? And then if he fires you, take him to court, sue him for wrongful dismissal, and take him for everything he's worth.

(Oh, since this is the Etiquette category, i will recommend you split the proceeds 50/50 with your sister. It's only polite.)

Answer 6

So, I guess telling you to file a sexual harassment lawsuit is out of the question? What he is doing is illegal. But, if you want to keep the job AND peace in the family, guess you just have to tune it out. If there were other females, I would say report it, because they "might" be able to keep secret who reported. So sorry you work for such a jerk, AND have to see him at family gatherings.

Answer 7

I'd give you sound advice but... he's you brother in law. So, what's the sense? Just kick his ***.