how will our children react to another baby?

Question

I am getting married to a man who has a 15 & 12 yr old. He is 33.
I have a 4 & 8 yr old. I am 25.
My children live with us, his we only see 1-3 times a week.
i have always wanted 3 children.
He is going to have his vasectomy reversed, so it is iffy if we even get pregnant, but if we do, how will the older children react?
please answer if you have any experiance or advice on this.

Answer 1

Life is not only about having children. If he has two already, and they're almost grown, and you have 2, then that should be enough. If your finance has another baby now he'll be in his fifties before it is time for the last one to move out. I can't wait till my kids are old enough to move out, then my husband and I will finally have a life. We have two and we had them early. I'll only be fourty when my youngest is eighteen. I'll still have a good 25 years to enjoy life and travel and do whatever I want. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. I consider myself a great mom. But I think it will be beneficial to them that we did only have two. We can help them more in the future. If you decide to have another one, that just takes away from your exsisting children. You and your finance don't have to have a biological child together to make your marriage stronger or better, you have his children and he has yours. I think you should focus on your exsisting children and blending your family together. If you have one more, your children might feel like this one is more important because it gets to have parents that are still married. And naturally you might treat this one different.

Answer 2

My husband has two children from a previous marriage, 11 and 6 years old. We're going in to be induced on Monday with our first. The youngest is the total peace out child and she's really excited about the idea of a baby. She especially likes the idea that it's a boy so she probably won't have to share her toys ("I don't like it when they get all slobbery!"). Our oldest, however, is autistic. Even though he's high functioning, he doesn't like the idea that his routine will be different in the house so it's going to be a bit of a challenge.

I really think it's all in how you present it. If you present the idea of a new baby as a positive, then more than likely the kids will see it as one as well. We've made sure to include the kids whenever possible in the pregnancy... from going to appointments with us while they're here to sending them pictures of the ultrasounds and letting them help pick out his name.

Also, we've really worked to make sure we aren't saying "our baby" or "his kids". They're all our kids. We aren't using the term "step" or "half" brother either. It's their brother. We don't want to create any more separation between them. They're old enough to understand that they don't have the same mother but we're trying to maintain the family balance.

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

I don't have children but I used to babysit a pair of toddlers, (they were siblings) so I saw them everyday. I had started babysitting the older one before the second one was even concieved. When the second one was born the older one felt sad and often cried because he felt his parents didn't want him anymore. So my advice is based on what his parents did to make him feel better. When you have a baby you obviously pay tons of attention to it and you don't love the older ones less, but they tend to feel as if the baby is taking their part in the family and that you don't want them anymore (this happens at an early age 1-5 years old). So take them out to picnics and parks, that way they see that you pay attention to them and they don't feel jealous or sad. I hope this helps you :)

Answer 4

Try to get the older kids involved with the new baby before it's even born. Explain to the younger ones that you may be busy with the new little one, but it doesn't change the way that you feel about them. Try to get them excited. If they feel involved, then it's not just your child, it's a new member of the family.

Answer 5

My son was once 22 months ancient after we had our 2d son. He rather did first-rate with the adjustment. He was once just a little younger to appreciate what was once happening in the course of my being pregnant. We defined that a youngster was once in my stomach he got here to my ultrasound appointments and felt the youngster kick numerous instances. But till we introduced our youngster house he did not rather "get" it. The toughest facet was once nursing... my son constantly desired to cuddle and be with me at the sofa and now with this little youngster hooked up to me practically 24/7 the primary few weeks he felt just a little disregarded. So we deliberate a few precise time together with his grandparents they introduced him to an arcade and to an airport to seem at plains and matters. My husband made definite to take further day trip on a daily basis so my son did not think disregarded. And I made definite that after the youngster was once sleeping and napping he received his further cuddles and MOMMY time. We had a couple of incidents... one in which he hit the youngster together with his toothbrush... :/ we nipped that within the however immediately! Now we expect our third youngster my oldest is four and is familiar with whats happening and is over the moon excited..... however my then youngster is now two... and I'm concerned everywhere once more approximately the transition! YIKES I'm definite you oldest will do best a 3yr ancient is familiar with allot, simply rather prep him for the impending alterations. A pal of mine honestly practiced with a functional youngster doll so her 2yr ancient might gain knowledge of to be delicate across the youngster and received used to Mom preserving yet another youngster. It looked as if it would paintings for them!

Answer 6

Things should be fine. All the kids are old enough to understand what's up, and the youngest will still be close enough in age to overlook the "half-sibling" thing. The rest are already in an odd enough enviornement (step-siblings) that another natural-blood child isn't going to impact them that much.

Answer 7

first, id go nuts if this guy is 33 and he has a 15 year old kid? wow. but no, thats cool. be careful, its probably a lot of stress on your kids already marrying someone else. but u have a 8 year old and your 25? wow. anyways good luck.

Answer 8

they may be excited to have a new brother or sister in the house, and they may be a little jealous at first because you and the father are spending so much time with your new little one. i am sure that eventually they will be happy about it, just don't treat them any differently if you do end up getting pregnant

Answer 9

hi, well just respect him and get this done love each other one he should have not reverse this or if doesent work then adopt or have a friend you trust carry the child to term but do the reverse first you will be happy.

friends in christ

Answer 10

i am only 17 but when my mom had a child by my step dad **** hit the fan in my house we all acted as if we ddnt want them together and even did little stunts wishin they would divorce so be safe!!!