Why do some parents lie and not tell their children they were adopted?

Answer 1

Selfishness.

Answer 2

because they love the child they have adopetd.

if they will tell the kid that he/she was an "adopted" child .. the child will ask for his real parents...where are they ...what happened...many other questions...now parents fear answering these question bcoz they think that if the child know about the real parents he/she might want to return back to his roots ...wherever he belonged to..

other reason and a strong one to do so is ... even if the parents give all love and try to do best for that child and the child knows that he is adopted...he will feel something missing always and blame all on being an adopted child.
he will blame things, may feel alone..insecure... inferior
many other things... when u are a kid u are immature and dont know what is right...u may think anything and take any step.
parents wants to avoid u from taking worng steps in life. they dont want u to live with insecurities. they want u to live a normal life like others are living.

fear of losing u and love for u ... make them lie .

Answer 3

Because they do not want to loose their children to their real parents (if they are alive) and if they are not perhaps it saves heartache or problems later on.

I think people who do not tell their children so, have fear of loosing or affecting both the child and the parents emotional state.
The impact can be very hard to deal with.

I personally think that parents who want to adopt should choose a baby that has no parents alive so that they do help out that baby and so there are no problems later on with identity.

Identity problems could lead to many problems. Though maybe there are a few who would not really change their love for their non biological parents, the inquisitive mind of one normally would want to seek who are the real parents and that could have negative feedback and cause irreversible damages to the family.

Answer 4

I gave a child up for adoption when I was 17. Parents lie because they think it is in the best interest of the child. They want to pretend that nothing bad ever happened and that the child will be protected if they don't know. If you have recently found out you were adopted, don't be mad at your parents, they were doing what they thought was best for you. Try to explain to them you still love them, but you just want information. Eventually, if you are rational and calm, they will understand.

Answer 5

Sometimes those parents are ashamed or very sad that they couldn't have children are their own. Its easy for them to fell as if these children are theirs, especially the children they've had from a baby. The parents might feel like their children won't love them, or fell the same closeness when they find that out.
Many kids also have the desire to find their true parents once they've been told. Sometimes adoptive parents feel less important when that happens.

Answer 6

maybe some parents don't want to deal with all the questions that will come after their child finding out they are adopted. Plus (as someone who has had a good friend who was adopted) maybe they are afraid that their child whom they love and care for will go looking for their birth parents, build a relationship with them, and leave their adoptive parents feeling abandoned

Answer 7

its because they dont want their kid to feel like somebody didnt want them..even though they were adopted..obviously the mother didnt want the child so when u tell kids that it can cause hatred..also because sometimes the adoptive parents feel that they will get hurt cuz the child might try to locate the birth parents and become more involved with that family....there are many reasons and im sure people feel they are personal reasons.

Answer 8

1) perhaps they love their child sooo much that for them there is no difference btwn an adopted & natural child
2) too hard to explain why the child was given up, without hurting that childs feeling of self worth.
3) the deep down fear that the child will want to find the natural parent & they would lose the bond they have.

Answer 9

I'm the child in that scenerio. My mother still doesn't know I know my biological father.

The only thing anyone can come up with is that she didn't want us to feel like we came from a broken home, going to dad's every other weekend, etc etc. And once we got older, it got harder to tell us. You know.

Answer 10

the're afraid the child would want to go and be with their "real" mom or dad
children however should be proud of being adopted and chosen into a family
i know i am!