is it me or is life really hard.?

Question

im 36 now and unfortunately im divorced and now without my home. I never thought it would be this hard financially, i get days when i feel so scared and alone. I dont have kiddies so im not tied down but i find life overwhelming sometimes and wandered how im going to get back there again. Theres always something to pay. I dont like to moan or be down, i really dont but i find my usual spark has got less and less.

Answer 1

God doesn't give us crosses that we cannot carry. it's not that life is hard -- it's how you handle it.
every person has their own stories to tell -- of course there are some people whose lives are much easier than us, but there are some whose lives are a lot harder. I have my own stories to tell, but whenever i feel down like you do -- i remind myself of children who die of hunger, children who have never even touched the computer, they don't even know what yahoo!answers is! children who don't go to school. children who are abused. there are more people who are less fortunate than us out there. be happy with what you have, instead of longing for things that you don't have.

Answer 2

Life is hard. We are constantly challenged with new experiences that don't often fall into our 'comfort zone' of knowing how to deal with them. Financially, this is one of the worst decades in American history. Our whole country is going downhill.
Anyhow, with the divorce, and giving up the home you have known, is not going to be easy on anyone. Take the time to mourn the past a bit. But don't take too long, or you can fall into a cycle of depression. There was some good advice given. Cut some corners for a while, make your own meals instead of eating out, use coupons, unplug things you do not use often, cut out cable... etc...
You are on the way to the begining of the rest of your life. Be grateful you do not have children to drag into the mess of a divorce. It will take time to 'catch up' on the bills. But they are also only paper. Take what you need first, food, clothing, and shelter expenses, then pay what you can when you can. Most credit card agencies will work out payment plans.
Most importantly, let yourself heal.
Stress can cause a lack of vitamins in your body as well. Any good doctor would let you know this. It cuts into your vitamin C and you B complex vitamins. I have seen at many drug stores, stress tabs... (vitamins) try taking those for a month or two, they might help. Of course, check with your doctor first.
There will be sunshine soon. Everything unfortunately takes time, and some of us do not have all the patience in the world. Good luck!

Answer 3

Yes bills suck, i personally try to keep mine as low as possible, I am really good at asking myself what i can live without most of the time. But depression I have some experience with, the best thing you can do to feel better in general is exercise, and i dont mean go to a gym or anything like that, thats just another bill and a commitment to pay for a long time usually, walking around your neighborhood (I am married to a dog so I have extra encentive for this) or doing other free forms of exercise , sit ups lifting just about anything, dancing, whatever. The thing about depression is that it is a vicious cycle, your depressed so you dont want to do anything, you do nothing all the time so you get more depressed, which makes you want to do even less... and so on. It is hard to break the cycle, and it generally takes lots of different things to do, there is only so much time you can spend taking walks , or playing a guitar or volunteering at an animal shelter or whatever, but if you combine lots of different things you can waste lots of time not worrying about your problems. I cant stress the importance of exercise enough, doing it in the sun can give you even more benefits, while over indulgence in the suns rays can be harmfull, sunlight can do wonders for making you feel better.

Anyway i could ramble for hrs on money problems and or depression, as i have dealt with both and still do from time to time. Unfortunately there is nothing that anyone can say to make life easy all the time and we all have our good days and bad days and while nothing can keep you from being scared, you are not alone at least in your feelings there are billions of people on this planet and all of them with any sense at all are scared a great portion of the time.

Answer 4

Hello there Victoria,
Sounds to me like you gotta get out there into the world a bit more than you are at the present.
I have never own my owned home, have lived in rented accomodation all my adult life, and am a self-employed 44-year-old person who is afraid to even open the flaming tax bill, never mind think about how to pay it!
I also have a Council Tax bill which I am gonna sort out soon, but neither of these three things get me down.
I also have an ex-partner and two weans I (happilly) shell out for regularly.
Life is what you make it, girl, and the sooner you stop licking your wounds and start celebrating the fact that life is good and your existance could be a lot worse, the better!
If I started thinking about how much better off I could be, I'd be down too, but I consider myself rich in the world, and that has nothing to do with my (lack of ) a healthy bank balance!
Best of luck- hope that was some help.
Oh- and I'm on me jack too!
MOJO62

Answer 5

There are a lot of us out here who feel the same as you because I am sure this is only a minority that have answered your question. Life is getting harder, financially and physchologically. You don't mention any family - have you anyone you can speak to? That's what I do, I have a good moan about life, money, and all else that life throws at me and it can help, because half the time I end up laughing about what I was moaning about! The spark is still there somewhere, you just need to light it again. Try what I have suggested-it works for me most of the time. Your still young and there is still a lot of living for you to do. You will get there.
Wishing you good health, luck and most of all, happiness.

Answer 6

life is neither hard nor easy going.its the way v make it.if u keep thinking its hard,it wud prove itself to b the same.despite ur current situation, u have to be strong and keep looking 4 the ways which could make ur life normal and healthy.take my words, nothing is gonna remain the same as it is now.its a rule that bad days will be followed by the good ones.its a law of nature.all u have to do is not to keep wondering but to keep an active eye on the opportunities.no one knows when u get a reason to laugh, a reason to think that u r again gona get every happiness.dont dare to lose any opportunity.
its not imortant even that u really need a very big reason to feel happy.u can get happiness *** out of even the bad moments.i have the habit of dreaming for good future when something bad happens with me.that gives me hope n courage to fight the present situation.
why lose ur spark?u know many people use their down periods as a fuel to run their lives.they get the inspiration and hope.
dear i m sure the time will change.u'll be happier than ever b4.dont lose heart.be optimistic.
all the best

Answer 7

I know how you feel I've had my ups and downs especcially since I was a teenager, trying to get my life back together, just count yourself lucky you made it this far.
I even contimplated suicide off a tall building, luckily I found nowhere high enough in devon or I would be servierely punished both on earth and judgement.
If im ever to do it I must be pretty despirate eg wife, son, pet die, loss of work, in dept, everyontne hating me etc.. P.S tallest point I can think of is a volcano 10.000 ft.

...... the point is im 21 in july and hope to make it to maybe 50 so I have 29 grewsome years left better get used to It mate Im gonna have to at least as long as I lived a guilt free life that is.

Darn I keep doing that Im saying too much again, nasty happit, hope you can forgive me.

That spark will hopefully come as Im going to be baptized since Im trying to become a christian, maybe you should build up your faith first?

Answer 8

Sounds to me like you are suffering from depression. It is very common after a significant life change such as yours. If I were you, I'd find a good therapist and perhaps consider an antidepressant, at least for awhile. Just because a person is depressed, and you certainly have plenty of reason to be, does not mean they will always feel that way or that they will always have to be in therapy or take medication. Sometimes just having someone to talk with helps more than anything else. Give it a shot.

Answer 9

No, you're not alone in thinking life is hard, I feel like that and I often wonder what it feels like to be really happy because you have everything in life that you want/need.

Sometimes it's good to have a moan, gets it out of the system and at least you're aware of what makes you sad/down/scared, that's the first step to dealing with it.

There are some good online groups where people are going through similar stuff. Enter the Blue Room is a good one (link below).

Answer 10

Yes, it is hard for everyone, but it is a pity you have lost your sparkle. To get to the point where you can cope with life a lot better and still enjoy the good bits you need to look after yourself very well. It looks like a holiday maybe out of the question, but can you set aside some time to relax and do a hobby? It has to be something you want to do for yourself, not something to please others. If this does not work, maybe a short course of counselling would be beneficial. This would help you to get over your divorce and also get life into perspective. Please try not to worry because I think most people feel like this sometimes.

Answer 11

Victoria,

I think life really IS getting tougher. Certainly financially it is. The standard of living has been going down due to the war in Iraq and the baby boomers retiring and general financial issues worldwide. It's harder to get by and that is grating on our energy levels. Add that to a recent divorce (I just got one, too, but WITH a 2.5 year old child), and you have the makings of much lower energy.

What I try to do is excersize and eat right, and I stay 100% away from caffeine so that I can get a good night's sleep.

Best wishes to you in finding your optimal situation!

-Carl