My manager is having a baby in July, everyone at work is throwing her a baby shower. I really don't want to go. This girl thats having the baby is only 20, just got married to a scumbag. They only want a boy. If its a girl her new husband doesn't want anything to do with it and she's even talked to me about her mother raising it if it's a girl. Her husband has told us that whatever we buy them he's just going to take back to the store because they don't want any handouts even though their broke. I feel bad for this baby that's going to come into this world. My boss is making me feel bad because I'm not attending the baby shower, should I feel bad?
2006-06-14 08:06:23 · 16 answers · asked by farmergyrl23 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Whether or not you agree with the woman, her husband or her lifestyle, office politics would dictate that you keep your personal opinions to yourself, buy her a card, a Target gift card and make everyone at work happy.
2006-06-14 08:10:41 · answer #1 · answered by WiserAngel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel bad. You can always claim that you have other plans for that day.
But it does sound like this young woman is in a less than ideal marriage, and may eventually need all the support and friendship she can get.
I had my first child at 19, and even though I'm still happily married to the father, with a second child now, having a baby that young was a very isolating experience. Nobody seems to know what to do with you--other mothers are older, and your friends don't get what it's like having a kid.
Maybe you could attend the shower and offer a special gift for the mother instead of the baby, or a card with a certificate for an evening of babysitting.
If your heart really isn't in it, though, what's the point of going to the shower? You shouldn't feel bad about it. Nobody else has the right to make you feel guilty. But it is worth looking at things from a different perspective.
2006-06-14 20:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a hard situation to be in. the mom to be sounds like she needs support. perhaps you should go, oh i dont know. tough decision to make. i feel bad for the mom and the baby o be especially if its a girl. Perhaps just wait till after the baby is born to buy a gift. if you dont wanna go make an excuse. part of me says yes go then another says no. good luck.
2006-06-14 08:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should go. Your boss wants you to go, because she is reaching out for friendship and support. Even though the father is a scumbag you can still be above him and give support to the mother and the child. Yeah she probably made a mistake, but who hasn't? It will be more of a positive impact on her if you go, if no one shows up, the impact could be very, very disheartening. Try to put your feelings aside for this moment and give her loving support.
2006-06-14 08:15:13 · answer #4 · answered by osubuckeye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! Walk away from this soap opera. Yes, she's your manager, but you don't have to be in the middle of this. Their decision are theirs to make.
No one here sounds like a real prize, except you, who is trying to do the right thing.
Buy a gift card, and make up a GOOD excuse as to why you can't go. That's right -- LIE!
Call it self-preservation, but get out of that tangled mess as soon as you can. Nothing good will come of being involved.
2006-06-14 08:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by vanwoman06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not feel bad just on the basis of her husbands comments. He apparently has no class if he is telling people he will be returning the gifts. You are in no way required to go to this shower or feel bad about it.
2006-06-14 08:12:33 · answer #6 · answered by kah1975 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to attend the shower, just tell her its not possible for you to be there, give her a gift card and let it go.
2006-06-21 07:58:10 · answer #7 · answered by fivestarmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey get a gift card and stay away from the party if u attend u probably will endure more bs later on well if it was me I'd just say no and give the card. she will need help later on.
2006-06-14 08:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by jcleann13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go. I don't go anywhere I don't feel comfortable. And if anyone tried to change anything about your job because of it, talk to a lawyer about it.
2006-06-20 05:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you shouldnt feel bad for not going, your work is your owrk, it is not your obligation to attaned private parties for people at your place of business. Just because you knwo her does not mean that you have to attend.
2006-06-14 08:47:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋