My man has a female "friend" that is interested in him and he goes out with her am I wrong to be uspset?

Question

I am not upset he has a friend thats a female, I am upset because he knows she is interested and he continues to do things with her, call her. I have told him how I felt and I feel he is disrespecting me. Help?! I am right or wrong?

Answer 1

You are not wrong. You are a female so you know how a female thinks. He may not see it that way because he is coming from a man's point of view but i dont blame you. I would feel the same way. If it was me i would tell my boyfriend again how i feel about this situation and if he loves you he would respect you enough to not go out with her. Not to upset you or anything but reality is if she is interested in him she has some tricks up her sleeve and from the looks of it he's eating out of her palm.

Answer 2

He sounds like he's keeping his options open.
Right or wrong is relative. You made him aware of your feelings, and if he ignores it, then he is disrespecting you, and it tells you the kind of person he is. (I wonder how HE would feel if you were going out constantly with a guy friend that was interested in you?) If he cared for you and had any respect for you then you would at least have a dialogue about how to deal with this problem. You would both either reach a compromise, or if there is no way to compromise for either of you, then you decide if this is the kind of person you want to be with (and he decides if this "friend" is worth losing you).
Trust has nothing to do with it, and it doesn't matter if it is innocent or not. The issue here is how it makes you feel and how he deals with knowing that.

Answer 3

Very good question. In fact, this happened to me and it almost destroyed my marriage.
My wife called and talked to this guy that she stated a long time ago that he is interested in her. However, my wife stated she was just his friend. At that point, I was very jealous.
I gotten so stupid and started looking at phone records and compared them to numbers in her phone address book. Pretty stupid, I know. I learned from that. Once I got my evidence in order, I confronted her. It was ugly and sparked a huge fight about "trust" and "jealously", but it was worth it because I was able to show her that what she was doing (calling another person up to 60 times a month) was wrong. I put my shoes on her feet and asked her how she would feel if I was to do the same. She understood my point. I also explained to her that I loved her and that if this continued, it would put a strain on our relationship. I asked her if she loved me and respected me as her husband, I asked her if she would stop calling him. I told her that I wasn't talking about severing all ties (because that would be wrong on my part to tell her to not talk to her friends). I asked her to call him "less". That's all. Simple request, right? Well, it worked cause now she might call him 2 times a month at the most.
You must confront him, but be very careful of the "trust" and "jealously" issues. Don't jump to conclusions that he is cheating, cause most likely he isn't. However, you must tell him that this is putting a strain on the relationship that he is spending time with a woman that is interested in him.

For example, if I was an antelope, and I liked to hang out in a tiger's cage, eventually I will be eaten. Maybe not now, maybe not later, but there's always that chance. Don't play with fire unless he's ready to be burnt.

Answer 4

No, ur not wrong. I'd be mad too. He cant take responsibility for someone else's feelings or actions but only his own. He is disrespecting you... and you need to take care of your feelings. Now dont think that he should ignore her either. If he's a nice guy i'm sure he's told her 'Nothing could happen and going out with you is going to bother my girl because i kno it would bother me if she did the same.' If he hasnt, he needs to.. cuz i'm sure he wouldnt like it if you did it. He's continuing to persue a girl that claims she likes him. Does he need attention... Does he feel the need to be wanted? or is he starting to feel something for this girl BECUZ she said she liked him? These are things you need to analyze. But dont become psycho, if you dont trust your man, then that's a different issue.

Answer 5

You are right to feel the way you do. If you are uncomfortable with the relationship they have, you are entitled to feel that way. Without meaning any harm, there seems to be a lack of respect on his part if he knows how you feel and continues to go out with his " friend ". I wouldn't suggest making him choose between the two of you because for some reason that never works. Really, the only way the whole situation can be handled is if you decide, do you feel it's worth your energy to deal with either of them if they've choosen to disrepect you.

Answer 6

Once upon a time I was married to who I thought was a wonderful man. He was courteous, polite, never embarrassed me in public, etc. A real doll, right? Well, I found out that I wasn't the only one he treated like that. He also had other women on the side. It was a hard blow to find out that who I thought was my soulmate didn't regard me the same way... and we were married!!! There was a tramp who lived downstairs and she kept throwing herself at my husband. When I told him about it and at how *I* thought it was inappropriate, he took the bait and bedded her while I was out of town with our three children. Oh, naturally he regretted it, but the damage was done. I couldn't get rid of her *** until I threatened to get a restraining order against her! If you have a female snooping around your man and he hasn't done anything about it, consider it a safe bet that he's doing something he shouldn't be. Put your ear to the ground and don't be naive' like *I* was. Listen to the rumors, ask questions, confide in his friends. Guaranteed, something will slip out and you'll get the answers you need. Good luck with this one, you may need it.

Answer 7

there's a fine line yes you have the right to be upset but if this relationship is still new then you need to trust that he wants to be with you not her and maybe he feels for her as just a friend and not the same way she feels for him, The main key is trust. Do you trust him enough for him to go out with her and still be faithful to you? If yes then don't get so upset, if no then this is not the right relationship for you.

Answer 8

You actually have to ask a question as foolish as this? Why was I so unlucky not to have hooked up with a fool like you for a girlfriend all these years? You're the answer to every man's dreams...both married and unmarried.

So no...let him go. In fact you should feel ashamed of yourself for even thinking that he is disrespecting you and being upset.

Twit...its worth the cheap 2 points to answer tripe such as this.

Answer 9

you are completely right.
He may or may not have an interest back. but you should not have to speak to him about it again, he should of listened the first time. He is clearly using her to up his ego. But something is kinda fishy here. I'd watch out. Ask him what they did & other questions. If he gets defensive, then something is up..if not then remind him of your concern.
If he still doesn't listen, let the other girl have him. You deserve a guy that cares about your feelings.

Answer 10

Right or wrong is not the issue. Respect is. If your request or concern is reasonable (and it is), and he has no respect for your feelings and is disrespectful to you, then the question is "Are you willing to put up with it?" If no, walk. If yes, then shame on you.