He changed for the better because I am dating someone new! Im confused!?

Question

I just posted a ? about this, my ex-bf of 3 years treated me like crap. We decided to let it go. Then I moved on to this wonderful man and he is so upset, depressed, can't eat, can't sleep and misses me. Wants to marry me. Said he will be 20x better than this guy I am dating. Why all of a sudden is there a change?

Answer 1

The laws of competition are at work in this scenario. Don't buy into it. Once you return to his store, things will be business as usual.

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Answer 2

Most people can say that they will change everything about themselves after they see what they lost, But not many actually change at all. you left him because he treated you like crap, I'd suggest telling him he needs to move on because you did and now you're happy. People like that tend to bring others down and prey on the emotions and sympathy of the ones they've hurt. Don't be fooled for an instant, I know about this type of behavior because it's how i've ended up in so really whacky relationships with girls who have has crappy relationships w/ their ex boy friends, most of the girls i've dated were both physically and mentally abused by others until they met me and now they seem to look for the better guys. Since you found your "Better Half" stick with him, in the long run it will be better for your ex. He will eventually grow up and move on.

Answer 3

There isn't a change, there is just him regretting his decision. He hasn't made any actual changes to how he would treat you, he just wants you back since you were easy for him. You stayed with him for 3 years and he never moved up the commitment.
Don't go back, and tell him you feel it would be better if you didn't have contact with him any more. This way you don't have him distracting you from, as you say, "this wonderful man."

Answer 4

People always want back what they can't have. Turn away and don't look back, I just got out of a 3 year marriage that the individual was very controlling emotionally...it does so much damage. You owe yourself a chance to love someone who respects you without conditions.

Answer 5

he probolly just realized how much of an idiot he is. lol but seriously speaking from experence, guys like this dont change. If he treated you like crap he will probolly do it again, besides you said you are in a happy realtionship right? Stay with it! Dont be tempted to go back out with that loser, tell him you just wanna be friends and that he should seek out professional help.

Answer 6

Men want what they cant have. Dont beleive him. If you are happy with who you are with stay with him. Because after a few months or a year this ex-boyfriend will just go back to who he was. People can only pretend for so long.

Answer 7

Guys and Girls both do this.

Since I don't know him I really don't know how he treated you.

I would also take a look in the mirror and ask why you appear to be so needy? Its like you need a guy every minute to validate you.

Why can't you just be single for awhile?

Answer 8

I think you are dealing with two things here. One: He probably realized how good things really were with you and how good you were for him. Two: The fragile male ego...the fact that you could find happiness with another man is killing him. He probably would be 20x times better...at first, it wouldn't be long before things returned to where they were.

Answer 9

He's a liar. If he loved you and respected you he wuldn't have been a jerk in the first place. Don't fall for his antics. Stay with the person who treats you right from the start.

Answer 10

There isn't any change. A leopard does not change its spots.

He's just missing you and trying to say anything to win you back. Just keep moving on honey!