ok i was going out with this guy we went to prom together and i got faded and smoked some bud too(weed) well i was messed up and passed out well my boyfriend of 6 months got on top of me and started to have $3X WITH ME I WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF IT AND TOLD HIM TO STOP AND GET OF me well we never had done it before that night but i thought he was drunk and messed up he didnt know what he was doing (STUPID YES I KNOW) any way we stayed to gether for another month (with out $3x) and then i broke up with him because he is so stupid !!! well now i think im Pregnant and i dont want to tell him because i dont want to talk to him any more i dont want any thing to do with him if i am pregnant im going to keep my baby but i dont want him to know do you think i have to tell hi????????????????????
Sorry For My Spelling I Was Typing Fast!!!!!
2006-06-14 06:55:13 · 13 answers · asked by valerie h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
first of all, find out for sure if you're pregnant. then decide if you want to have the baby, if you do, doesn't the child deserve to know who his/her father is? it's really hard to raise a child by yourself, so think about what's in the best interest of the baby
2006-06-14 06:58:58 · answer #1 · answered by Jean S 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all don't let any of these answer persuade you to do anything. It is your choice what you decide to do. And to the asshole that said it's your fault, he obviously can't read because didn't you say that you were passed out. Anyway, one thing you should think about is getting help from an adult that is close to you. And yes a baby can change your life ( I had my first son when I was 17 yrs old, He's 8 now and doing great), and yes it will be tuff, but if you have a good support system then you will be just fine. And always remember there is the option of giving the baby up for adoption.
Good Luck!
2006-06-14 14:16:16 · answer #2 · answered by luckymom43 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out for sure if you are pregnant or not. If this all happened at prom, then that means that you are under 18. Please let you parents help you through this difficult time if you can bring yourself to do so. Otherwise, Planned Parenthood can help you and advise you of all of your options and point you toward potential support groups, etc.. Sadly, if your ex was coherent enough to remove enough of your clothing and his to start having sex with you, then he was coherent enough to know that you two had never had sex together before (not that it would have been ok if you had) and that you were unconscious at the time. I'm so sorry that he raped you and that you have to deal with all of the consequences. It was NOT your fault. Please confide in the people best positioned to help you, like your parents. If you are pregnant, evaluate all of your options (including adoption). Another option may be what is best for the baby (and your future) and needs to be thoughtfully considered.
As for the ex, there should be consequences for his actions, but I fully understand why you do not want any contact with him. I just don't want him to do to others what he did to you. You were very brave to ask this question. Part of being brave is to continue to seek help for the emotional aftermath and the potential pregnancy. You sound like a strong person, you can do it!
2006-06-14 14:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child would be as much a part of him as a part of you, but given the situation, I'd think long and hard before I thought about telling him. He's gone, not a part of your life. He raped you. If he couldn't respect you enough to wait, what positive role could he play in raising a child, even if it's his own.
Just surround yourself and the child with positive influences and smiling faces. If he can't be one of those, maybe it's best to not to tell him. If he's only going to cause problems, don't. You know how he'll react better than I, so you'll know better what route to take. Best of luck, and warmest wishes. May you have the strength and serenity to hold your head p high through whatever trials await. and if you need someone to talk to, any time I'm around, I'll listen.
2006-06-14 14:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by Aeterna Nox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your going to have the baby I think he has a right to know. Why would you want to have this baby anyway ? Your so young, just starting your life and you dont like this guy at all. Your whole life is going to change and you will miss out on a lot of things. Dont condemn yourself because of something stupid some guy did.
2006-06-14 14:00:50 · answer #5 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you're in tough spot. First, find out if you're pregnant! I do believe you should tell him so it can give him a chance to change and have a relationship with his child. Don't take him back by any means. For a while, until he proves himself, I wouldn't even leave him alone with the baby. But please, give him a chance for the sake of your child. My grandfather was abusive and mom decided to believe him when he said he'd change. She was very careful and didn't leave us with him until she saw he had in fact changed. He was a wonderful grandfather and I love him very much even though he is no longer with us. Please, just think about it
I got pregnant right out of high school by a liar and a cheat (found that out after I got pregnant). I was still willing to let him be a father and he actually started to grow up. I lost the baby which still breaks my heart but it taught both of us a valuable lesson. I'm now happily married and we're expecting our second child this Christmas!
2006-06-14 14:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by proud_usmc_wife04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from similar experience, I chose to keep my son and my baby's father doesn't know that I'm aware of, I did it because it was the safest thing for me and my son. You don't have to tell him anything understanding that someday your child is going to question you and you should always tell him the truth. If you are able to take care of your child or if your family is willing to help you do what you thinks right. If the only reason you can give for not wanting to tell him is" i don't want to talk to him anymore" you should consider if you are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of a child.
2006-06-14 14:15:12 · answer #7 · answered by harborgirl2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a doctor, first and seriously if you are pregnant you need to think about how drastically your life will change. He deserves to know if you are but if he's not gonna take the steps he needs to so the both of you can raise a healthy baby, he looks better where he's at. At least you will know you told him and gave him a chance to be there.
2006-06-14 14:06:28 · answer #8 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, take a pg test and find out if you are or not. If you are tell your parents. You can tell them you know. I told mine and they were there for me.
If you are, I don't think you need to tell him just yet. Maybe sometime in the future when you two are older. He should know that he does have a child wandering around but not necessarily need to have anything to do with the child. Good luck.
2006-06-14 14:04:29 · answer #9 · answered by karen in cypress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the right thing to do is to tell him. Maybe he won't want anything to do with the child. Your only other option is to leave town and not tell. Keep in mind raising a baby is draining financially, mentally and physically. I hope you make the right decision. Good luck!
2006-06-14 14:00:02 · answer #10 · answered by shae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are really sUre that ur pregnant becuase if this happen 6 months ago the u will be showing by now and if u dint have sex with the other 5months u cant be pregnant and ways i thinking u should tell him becuase when the baby grows up he/she going to ask you about there daddy
2006-06-14 14:06:32 · answer #11 · answered by rocha510 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋