How do you 'un-spoil' a kid?

Question

Any / all suggestions appreciated!!

Between Daddy and Grandparents, I can't get a break!

Answer 1

Forget it.
Too late mate.
Just let him know when he is with you, YOU mean business.

Answer 2

Again, depends on the age. A co-worker forbid his children's grandparents to buy them things without his permission and they actually listened. My parents didn't have that consideration until the kids became BRATS and my in-laws still don't have that consideration.
It may work to expose your children to those less fortunate. Taking them to a soup kitchen or nursing home or have them do some type of volunteer work so their spoiled personality is tempered with compassion. It is possible to be spoiled without being a brat about it. Generally, when children have people they can play against one another they do. At Christmas I did have a long talk with them about the children that don't have anything for Christmas and they donated some of their own un-opened birthday presents to Toys for Tots. The next year my younger one requested his birthday guests bring a gift for Hurricane Katrina victims rather than himself.
Another option is what others give them have to stay at that person's house.

Answer 3

That really depends on how old the child is. If they have yet to reach kindergarden you can just go cold turkey on any of their demands. They'll hate you for 30 seconds (no more than 30 minutes) and they move on. If they are older, you are going to have to stick to your guns. If they "demand" anything, say no and DON'T GIVE IN. That is the WORST thing a parent can do. If they can get away with it once or twice, then it's ok to do PERIOD. With older children, you not only have to be consistent, but you will have to cut them off completely and tell them they have to get a job. Once they do, make them pay a bill. If your child has a cellphone, make them pay that. They have to recognize that the benefits that they receive that you provide or not free.

The key to unspoiling a child is consistency. The same consistency that got you into that mess will be the same consistency that will get you out.

Answer 4

It's going to take alot of work on everyones part, Mom, Dad and Grandparents. I mean think about it "spoiled" Can you un-spoil milk?? NOPE. Good luck, I'm not sure how old the child is but hopefully you are able to work this out.

Answer 5

say no
mean it

be consistent
be a good, unspoiled, example. Kids learn what they see, not what they hear.

as for daddy and granny. the same for them. You are the responsible parent. You make the rules. no playstation means NO PLAYSTATION. If the rules are not respected, visits diminish. YOU are the parent. Put your foot down. Your child's well being is more important than avoiding an awkward conversation.

Answer 6

By the same way that they were spoiled, little by little, inch by inch, time by time. But you undo it by not giving things and such to the child, but instead providing quality time yourself, going for walks, going out for coffee or tea and discussing what are the child's dreams, interests, favorite this or that, loving the child and telling him/her how much you appreciate them in your life and what you love about them. Tell them what bothers you that they do. Get involved with their interests. Take them out to a nice dinner and play "dress up" if a girl, "hang out" at a movie if a boy. Unspoil them with your love. Money can't buy true quality love. Then they would always perfer to hang out with "mommy" and perfer "mommy love" over money, even over the "daddy, grandma and grandpa and things anyday. Most of all, be straight and honest with them on why you rather spend time and love on them than things on them. Tell them they are worth it.

Answer 7

Have you ever watched super nanny...or nanny 911? In all the shows i have seen, and even talk shows like Dr.Phil. CONSISTANCY is the key. Wake up one day, and say lets do this. You need to be prepared for a good week or two, of some tough love.... and it wont be easy and it wont be fun, but kids need routine, and consistancy. Dont say yes all the time. Get used to saying NO...and only once....dont give in....You need to routine EVERYTHING... bed times, meal times....play time...whatever the day consists of. Routine for kids creates security for them. and once you establish a routine, and show who is boss.... seriously two weeks!!!!! and as long as YOU stick with it...thats all it will take. and my all tiem favorite, and it works like a charm for my boys...TIMEOUT!!!! 1 warning then it is time out!!!! if they are 5 then five minutes. and so on. 9yrs old...9 minutes. I give my 18month old time outs.....seriously it works. And as soon as i slack...it takes me a couple days, to get the boys back on track!!!! CONSISTANT!!!!!! i could go on forever about this, but i think i told you the most important stuff.

Answer 8

Just because they get spoiled out of your home, does not mean you have to tolerate that behavior at home,,,,,,, do not give into them,,,,,,,, I mean a child does not act the same at school as they do in their own home, I never gave in, would send them to their rooms and say Come out when you are ready to act human,, and if I threatened them with dicipline, I ALWAYS followed through,

Answer 9

You don't but if you are going to try make sure everyone is willing to try husband and grandparents. Good luck

Answer 10

stop spoiling make them work for what they want discipline them If they are bad take away some of the luxuries they have it takes time so be patient and keep trying

Answer 11

tell daddy and grandparents to stop giving him what he/she wants and tell the child no