Black. White. What does it matter?

Question

I'm dating this really awesome guy. I'm black and he just happens to be white. All my life I've never cared about what makes one race different from another. We are all still people. So please tell me why to people still give us that "look"? And why does my mom dislike my boyfriend so much because of his skin color? Will I eventually ignore everyone else? Has anyone gone through this before?

Answer 1

Racism is alive and well in USA and in many other countries. And if you are going to have an interracial relationship, then you have to be prepared to deal with racism.

And if you get married and have racially mixed kids, then they too will have some difficulty dealing with racism. It's hard for such a kid to choose sides when his black friend says something against the white folks or his white friend says the same against the black people.

But I think that interracial friendship and marriage is worth fighting for. You only need to take a look at such people as Tiger Woods and Hale Berry to see what good such relationships can bring.

If your man is better than anyone else you know, then don't listen to your mother and settle for second best. You have only one life to live and you must make the best of it, regardless of what other people say.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter at all. I think even people who don't have a problem with colour might give you a look because this may not be something they have seen before. To be honest, I have seen a black guy with a white girl but not vice versa. I am sure you will learn to ignore those who have a problem and some of them will come round to the idea and give the guy a chance. Some people have just been rought up pto think black and white don't mix, maybe your mum thinks he's not good enough for you(which she would think whatever colour he was!) and may be using the colour issue as an excuse. Often people who do that have no genuine reason for thinking bad of people.

Answer 3

I think we all go through it in some shape or form. It may not be skin color but some thing that people cannot cope with or understand. I was dating this guy about 16 yrs ago, my parents didn't approve and my friends didn't say much about him other than he wasn't good enough for me. I am still with that same guy and wow he is the nicest person I have ever met, people love him now but he was always the same guy to me. I did not care what people thought, not everyone will always approve so ignore them and enjoy your beautiful man

Answer 4

I know exactly what you mean, but it isn't only colour people discriminate against, it is religion, race, and sometimes even the colour of our eyes or our hair! I have been on the receiving end of racism (I'm white), I also had to stand up for a friend of mine (she's black) who suffered racist bullying at a place where we both worked, I really don't understand why people have so much hate in them, I think everyone should learn to be more tolerant of each other and maybe then the world would be a nicer place. :)

Answer 5

If you guys really love each other , what people think and how hard they stare really don't matter.
I am indian and dated a white guy ... I really didn't care how hard people stared.
I will stare right back at them until they look away first!!!

Your mom is being ignorant and racist. Sometimes parents who think like that get over it, sometimes they don't. It is your life , it is up to you to know if he's a good person at heart or not... and that's for you to decide!!!
You're the one who has to be with him after all, not your mother or the people that talk behind your back or stare at you!!

Answer 6

Has anyone gone through this before? Yes. Many, many times. And what it boils down to, is how do you and your guy feel about each other. Our son (white) met and married a wonderful gal (black) and we now have six of the most beautiful grandchildren you have ever seen.
We have several very dear friends who are also in mixed marriages, and it seems to us that the people who do enter into these relationships have thought through the additional hurdles they will have to go through, and it has strengthened their regard for each other.
PS: Your mom will get over her dislike after you're married and she has some cute little grandchildren to coo over.
Good luck to you.

Answer 7

His color is the most obvious and that's why you are having such a hard time. He could be black and not have a job, have an annoying laugh or bad breath. Its always something. As long as you all are happy then that's what matters. Its gonna be rough but hay it wouldn't be life if it was too easy. Good luck.

Answer 8

Although mixed relationships have become far more common place now days there are still "ignorant" people out there and unfortunately, they will be out there for many more years. As long as there are racisist adults willing to teach their ignorance to their children, it will take a long time for this problem to be resolved. I know it's hard to ignore the ignorant ones, especially when they are family members, but do your best, and remember, no one else can make you happy if you are not happy yourself.

Answer 9

In a perfect world it wouldn't matter, but unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world. There is still plenty of stereotyping and racial prejudice and although it probably hurts you that your Mom can't accept who your with, she probably only has the best intentions for you and doesn't want you to get hurt because she knows there are a lot of stupid people out there who don't want to see you and your boyfriend together.

To me it doesn't matter. And if you are happy I say go for it. Love can conquer a lot of things. You just have to have faith and be very strong:)

Answer 10

I have dated a mixed guy but i have never gotten any stares. If you really love this guy, dont let anybody, especially your mother ruin it for you. Apparently is seems that she is racist and i thought that whole deal with different races dating each other was over a done with. People who stare like that have not been outside of their communities and you really shouldnt care what they think and say about you and this guy. You are dating him, not them. People who think like that are small minded.