I am really stressed out.?

Question

Im pregnant at 40 with high blood pressure problems at 14 weeks, and my 20 year old daughters just told me and my husband that his dad was touching them in an unappropriate way when they were little girls . Their grandmother would bother me all the time about them spending the night with her even tho i didnt want them to. My husband would feel sorry for his mom if i wouldnt let them and he would let them. and now im sick, nervouse and dont know how to handle this. They dont want him to go to jail since it happened 20 years ago. I dont have anyone to talk to and i feel like im spinning out of control. I was done the same way as a young child by a neighbor at 4 years old and i never told my dad because he would have killed him and thats why my kids kept quiet about it. I really need some advise before i loose it and want to hurt him myself. Please help....

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear that... the good thing is that your daughter opened to you and told you her painful secret.
It is past and you can not change it and your daughter is healthy and fine ( thanks God ) so try to relax for your non born child and see a psychiatrist .
I guess your husband has to go and talk with his dad and ask why??? old man has to know that you know and that might bring him some shame...
Good luck

Answer 2

Here is a list of simple things 1. Get vigorous exercise each day 2. No alcohol at all (yeah, I know you're 14) 3. No coffee/tea/cola/chocolate because they have caffeine 4. Write down a list of your problems and solutions for them. 5. Self help books, such as The New Mood Therapy 6. Relaxation techniques, such as meditation 7. Best would be to have cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) 8. Medications and herbal stuff (herbal nonsence) are things you should avoid. Anxiety is very treatable. If you do not treat it, it is miserable, tends to persist and can stop you doing as well as you want to. P.S. You don't literally have high blood pressure.

Answer 3

Damn woman...you need to sit back and take 5 for you. Seriously...i know you have loads on your plate..but you also have to think of your unborn. 1st of the situ with your kids...are they ready to face him with you?....and confront him together?.....if not then just be there for them...thats why they came to you in the first place. Been thru it and i wish my mom had been so understanding. 2ndly hurting him will not take away the fact of what he has done. How is your husband dealing with this?...a good idea would be to offload to someone like the samaritans....used em loads of times myself and sometimes the annonymity helps...talking to a complete stranger whom you will never probably speak to again. Have a chat with your midwife and see if she cant get you referred to some form of therapy....Even if its just for the time you are pregnant. Your kids are adults now and unfortunately they have the right to decide whether their abuser goes to jail so that decision is up to them....have they had help trying to deal with this....maybe you could all try to get someone to talk to together...as a family....man i really dont envy you on this one.....be strong and try to keep it together as a family....im sorry i couldnt be any more help.

Answer 4

Check out (http://www.reducingstress.net ) there is a lot of great articles and expert advice on the subject there.

Answer 5

There has to be someone close by that you can talk to. At least go see a phsychiatrist, then you can talk to someone about what is going on. Please think of your unborn baby and don't do anything to hurt it.

Answer 6

Raped at age 6, 16,17,and 18 so my answer to you will be long, so email me or IM me at [e-mail]