They both expect me to get a PhD in something (they both have one...and so does my brother and sister). But I'm not sure what I was to do...how can I tell them to lay off without making them think I'm stupid?
2006-06-14 05:40:19 · 18 answers · asked by Flower 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What is your plan? Is it to just hang out around the house and watch TV or do you have a plan of reading, travel, etc. that will make the time productive and meaningful.
How are you going to cover your expenses while you're 'finding yourself'? Do you expect your parents to foot the bill or is a job part of the plan?
Taking a year off may indeed be a great thing for you, but don't expect your parents to stand behind you 'no matter what'. That's not parenting it's enabling.
2006-06-14 05:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by Oh Boy! 5 · 21⤊ 5⤋
Well to begin with, I'd like to congratulate you, standing up to parents is a hard thing, no matter the reason. Secondly, it's best if you sit down both your parents and talk to them. It's best to explain to them, because one, when you are done finding yourself, you're still going to need them to pay for whatever you'll be up to next, and secondly, it's actually much better to have a good relationship in general. I'm not saying it's a must, just that it's easier to move forward without having to look over your shoulder.
Plan what what to say, not the whole speech, just the key points. and non of the jokes, be serious but let the words flow out of your mouth. It gets easier after you start and dont expect anything. you also might have to think about talking to them were there will be less distractions and.......
oh you get the point.
2006-06-14 12:52:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to sit down with them and discuss your reasons behind wanting to take off of school.
Discuss with them that you know the importance of a higher education, and it is a goal in your life. You want to be able to do thourough research before jumping into a specific field. It is important that you know for sure what you want to do in order to put in the appropriate time and dedication it takes to get a PhD, which will be extremely difficult if you are going for a position that your heart isn't in.
Be Honest with them, it will not sound stupid!
Good Luck
2006-06-14 12:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by kikie222 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want a PhD, you don't have to get one, it's your life. Unfortunately, parents don't understand this kind of thing, so you'll go through alot of hard times before they actually accept it. I think spending your life in school and then finding out later that you really don't want to do what you studied for would be a huge waste of life. I say screw'em. If they can't accept it, then let them think what they want. Just make sure you work hard at whatever you do. They may curse you out of any inheritance or refuse to offer any help for anything, but one day they'll come around. Just brace for hard times for now.
2006-06-14 12:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Rockstar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they aren't paying for your schooling tell them it's none of their business. If they are tell them that they would be wasting their money on something you don't or won't try hard at. If you tell them that you just want to take a break and they think you are stupid, i'm sorry, but that's not very good parenting. no matter what you do, your parents should stand behind you, no matter if they agree with you or not.
2006-06-14 12:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by lojack 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't and wont think you are stupid they jest want what is best for you and a good education is priceless no mater what you do in life the experience of an education will always be there and make live more understandable and easier so go back to school and when you are finished then GO FIND YOURSELF IT WILL BE A LOT EASIER
2006-06-14 12:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by delmonticoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, remind them that u r different from them and from ur brother and sister. u'll get ur PhD when u feel it's time for it. don't sit around for a year and do nothing though. make sure u do something, like getting a job in ur field or another field that u r interested in, volunteer places, do some traveling if u can afford it. just make sure u r really "finding urself" and not just sleeping in and partying.
good luck!
2006-06-14 12:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by Unicorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them what your heart says too. if you really want to do it then do it. You run your own life they donot run it for u. My parents are the same way. They want me to be a lawyer b/c the rest of my family is. But it isn't what i wan't to do. Also, just b/c you aren't a doctor doesn't mean you are stupid.
2006-06-14 12:45:00 · answer #8 · answered by superqt56 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to knock education thats for sure. But "PURPOSE" is far above family tradition.
As long as you seek your purpose your doing what is right. and what is right? Is you being, who you know you are.
Lest you live your whole life in bitterness. Only make sure this is not your laziness talking.
We all sometimes have to beat down that spirit every once in awhile.
2006-06-14 12:49:12 · answer #9 · answered by cHeAp_ShOt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that you don't want to waste money by changing your major all the time, so you want to research different areas before committing to school. They probably won't buy it because there are core requirements, but I guess it's worth a try.
2006-06-14 12:46:29 · answer #10 · answered by Christy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are NOT stupid first of all. You are just not like them and that is okay. You are "YOU" and they need to realize you are worthy and will decide your own fate. SO just tell them you love them but you will decide your own life. You are not in diapers anymore and can fend for yourself. Good luck in what ever it is you want to do.....
2006-06-14 12:44:45 · answer #11 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋