my mother in law is a fanatic church goer( she goes everyday) and i was rasied to believe that Christ loves you for you and you are welcome to worship as you are.she has visted my church and i have not asked her to change in anyway to go.i am a christen and my husband and his family are catholic, so we go to his church every other week and mine the other weeks.i feel that she is being a little unfair and i have told her as has my hudsband. other than that we get along fine.
2006-06-14 05:39:53 · 22 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my father in law is the deacon and they are buddys w/ the biship. most of my peircings are on my face.
2006-06-14 05:47:20 · update #1
i go to his church to respect his beliefs as he does for me
2006-06-14 05:49:15 · update #2
Sounds like she has a control issue to me. And you're right, Christ does except you as you are. Remind her that we live in a country where we can worship freely. Whatever her problems are she needs to deal with them, like religious racism.
Hope this helps!
2006-06-14 05:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by writer2462000 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First off, you are an adult. Never let your mother-in-law dictate your decisions. Your husband needs to get some back bone...and fast. If he doesn't you will have more problems with her in the future, believe me, I know. She is being more than "a little" unfair.
Next, take a good honest look at yourself in the mirror. Do you look like a bad circus act with the piercings? You don't say how many you have, but having respect for yourself is important too.
I suggest you don't go to her church if she continues to insist that you change. Period. Besides, Catholicism is a cult, I am a former Catholic so I know full well what it is. If she were a real Christian, she would never disallow you to attend "her church".
2006-06-14 12:48:48 · answer #2 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, what is the difference between christian and catholic? I thought anyone that believed in God was a christian?
Your mother-in-law is probably embarrassed by your piercings. A good christian would try and please her husband's family and remove the piercings for church. Really, why can't you? It's a small thing to keep peace in the family and I am sure your husband would be very proud of you for doing it. God would be too. It is such a minor thing that if you are a christian you wouldn't give it a thought.
This is not about who is right and who is wrong. It is respect for your husband and his family. I just don't understand the big deal. If you continue this way with the attitude," God loves me, I can do whatever I want", God will love you after your divorce too...........
2006-06-14 12:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am Catholic and you are right that God and Jesus will accept you in anyway.
I was raised that when attending Mass that you sound not take away from the ceremony. I am afraid that if you wore the piercing it my take away from that. I have an aunt and a cousin who are nuns, and uncle is a priest. If I showed up to Mass and had something on that was inappropriate on they would be the first to tell me to go home and change.
Also, I think it is wonderful that your mother in law loves you and her son enough to attend your church every other weekend. Normally Catholics would not do this.
Also, if your father in law is buddies with the Bishop I would want the child I was taking to Mass to look appropriate. It just makes it uncomfortable for your family to have them in.
Remember it is one day of 2 weeks that you can take the piercing out and please a lot of people. I know we can not please everyone but what is a one hour mass just think about your hubby he really does not want to make his wife and his mother fighting about something this small in the whole scheme of things.
My mother in law is Lutheran and me and my hubby are Catholic and so is my FIL. She does not attend mass or church at all. I would be so happy if she showed up to a mass of ours.
Please understand my MIL does not like me and I would not want to put her in a position that would make her uncomfortable she would also tell me if what I was wearing was not ok.
Just take out the piercing for the one hour. Leave them in the car if you are afraid they will close up that quickly. Also, if you are going out with the Bishop afterwards leave them at home until you get there it can not hurt anyone if you
Do not have all of the attraction on you all of the time.
So, I have a question for you, did you wear your piercing on you wedding day? If your MIL showed up to your wedding or any church service in a leather miniskirt would that be appropriate? How would you feel?
2006-06-17 07:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Mac 4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. What I'm about 2 share w/ u is not popular, but it has alleviated a lot of problems. It meant literally unlearning family actions and gaining a more comfortable life.
When I go to someone else's area (church, office, classroom, room, dorm, car, etc.)... if it belongs 2 someone else, what they say goes. The choice is to calmly decline or to participate. With my things, etc. I can do as I please. So, if her church has these rules, plz respect the church or give a no thank u (w/ respect) to some offers & invitations. Life will get lighter if u try this. Mine has. I hope this helps.
2006-06-14 12:48:52 · answer #5 · answered by karaokecatlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be about you in particular. Grow up. It really trips me out how folk will go to clubs that have dress codes, join organizations with dress codes, send their children to school with dress codes, if you get locked up, your lawyer will have a dress code for you to see the judge, but you can go to the House of the Lord to see the King of kings, and the Lord of lords, and if you are asked to tone down your appearance not to distract others you have issues. If you can't make that small sacrifice for a two hour service, just don't go to that church. Go to a church that doesn't mind how you carry yourself. And the really sad thing is that you don't se the love that she has for you in asking you to tone down. People will (without intentionally meaning to be) make you feel uncomfortable because you look out of place. It's like putting a milk bucket under a bull.
Grow up.
BTW - Jesus took the peircings so that you wouldn't have too.
Smile
2006-06-14 13:03:27 · answer #6 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mother-in-law does not own the church it is God's house and he wants you there tell her that if she really wants to serve God she is supposed to tell others of God and envite them to church not tell them the appropriote way to show up there really isnt one!! heres a story i hurd from my youth direter its kinda funny One sunday morning a young man wearing surf shorts a tank top a visor and some flipflops walked into the fansiest church in town everyone wore expensive clothes and when the young man sat down nobody sat by him greeted him or talked to him after the church the preacher aproached the young man and said "son can you do somthing for me?" the boy replied "sure" "would you go home and ask God the appropriate attire for worship?" the boy said yes! the next sunday the boy showed up the same way he had the last sunday and after church the preacher asked "well did you ask God for the appropriat attire for worship?" the boy said yes then the preacher asked " what did he say" the boy replied "he said he didnt know, that he'd never been to this church" OH OUCH!!! lol
2006-06-14 13:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am totally on your side girl. I have the same problem only with my own mother. I have tattoo's (4 of them) and my mother is totally against them. She wants me to get back in church but if I wear a dress then the large one around my ankle will show. I am not ashamed of my tattoo's at all, but I know SHE would be. So on the rare occassions I attend I wear pants, which she is ok with. Sometimes we have to compromise just to keep peace in the family. But you and I know in our hearts that God doesn't care about our outward appearance so much, He's only concerned about what is in our hearts.
2006-06-14 12:49:02 · answer #8 · answered by sparkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She cannot stand at the door and prevent you from entering the church. Perhaps she is putting pressure on your husband not to go to the church with you because your presence embarasses her.
Most people who go to church regularly are conservative. And it's no surprise that they don't like your look. If you want to be accepted then either change your look or find other people with piercings and spend your time with them.
You can't make people to like you, when you are doing something they strongly disapprove of.
2006-06-14 12:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband agree with her? If so, that's a BIG problem. He should be on your side--the whole "cleave to his wife" thing from the Bible, right? Other than that, unless the church officials don't want you to attend, you have every right to go to whatever church you want to go to. Your mother-in-law has no right to tell you what to do and to try to keep a person from going to chuch is downright un-christian-like. Go and don't sit with her if she's going to be ugly. Good luck.
2006-06-14 12:46:54 · answer #10 · answered by Dani 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe your m-i-l is worried more about her rep than your soul. When Christ was here on earth he didn't hang with the saints he ran with the whores,murders, thieves, basically the outcast. Don't take that wrong, I'm not saying you are any of those. What I'm saying is He wants everyone to come as they are and then He'll get with you one on one to work on any changes that HE feels might be necessary. I can't understand why "people" want to put their self above God and sit in His judgement seat.
2006-06-14 12:53:20 · answer #11 · answered by unclecomebac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋