One child or more?

Question

My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter. Everyone around is us is pressuring for us to have another. Especially the grandparents on both sides because she is their only grandchild so far. My answer to everyones question is "Oh, we'll have another one some day." But honestly I don't think so... I am content with my daughter. I enjoy the time we get to spend together, as little as it is. I have unbeilvably full plate already and can't imagine adding another child to the mix. And on top of it all my husband is not the supportive type at all, so I feel that I rarely can count on him. Anyway, my question is what do you think is better - being an only child or having siblings?

Answer 1

I think 2 children is best (compared to just one). There are times you want a playmate your own age. Or someone to share all your secrets with when Mom or Dad just won't do. All the only children I knew growing up wanted a sibling. But don't have another child because of pressure. For me, 1 was hard and 2 was easier. Just because they could play together and didn't expect me as amusement at all waking hours of the day. I could actually pee by myself sometimes or do a load of laundry! But this needs to be your decision, noone elses. I do suggest that if you are certain ya'll are finished, get your tubes tied or him a vasectomy. That way there are no surprises.

Answer 2

The answer to this question is simple...You do what is right for you and your lifestyle. DO NOT let others pressure you into having another child if it is not what you want. Some people will go so far as to call you selfish for having only one child...I have done a little bit of research on the subject myself and some studies show that children who have no siblings are actually smarter and more socially evolved. True? Who knows! My point is that there is pros and cons when it comes to the subject of having only one child. That is why it is up to YOU!
My husband and I have a 9 month old son and we are on the fence about whether or not we will have another. I am 32 and he is 35 and we don't want to be "old" parents. We may decide to be content with one child and that will be our decision.
Good luck to you!
P.S. A good response when people ask about another child is to simply say "We are so happy with the one we have!"

Answer 3

Well, I was an only child. Not from lack of trying though, my mom had a genetic defect and I have a brother and sister who died young. I guess you have to look at it from both ways. Without siblings, it gets a little lonely but it gave me a chance to have a great imagination. Plus, when you get older you don't have a brother or sister to help you out, you must rely on friends. On the other hand though, my parents were better able to provide for me. I was in dance, in band, in pageants, and many other activities that had they had more kids I probably wouldn't have gotten to do. Plus I guess that way you don't have a favorite child and the siblings pick up on that.

I guess ultimately it's you choice. If you don't want another child, don't let your family and friends pressure you into having another just because they want you to have one. Many times, even though you won't mean to, there will be that underlying negative emotion toward that child b/c you didn't really want to have them. They can pick up on that and it could cause problems in the long run.

Answer 4

I had my second child when my first was 9 and it was great. Of course, their age difference was a bit far but that turned out positive too. I enjoyed it because it was like starting over - doing it all over again. There's nothing wrong with having children further apart in age. You don't have to rush into anything. You haven't even forgotten the "diaper" stage yet - give it time. You'll enjoy all the baby stuff later too!! Nothing better!!

Answer 5

you sound like you know what you can and cannot handle, and if another child is something you can't handle, then don't do it. why are you with your husband if he isn't supportive? that doesn't make much sense. i do think that siblings are good, because what would the child do if you and your husband died suddenly in an accident or something? the child would be alone...no immediate family to bond with.

Answer 6

of course have silblings... but not too many.. 2 is really enough. If you have odd number like 3, 5, your children will end up fighting each others.. 2 will be supportive for each others.

Only child is bad for the child and parent will spoil him/her easily.

The best is to have a boy and a girl. so you know the difference.
The very best is to have twin boy and girl. One time pain and you get it all..

Good luck.. wish you have a son!

Answer 7

I think that having siblings is better because the only child might feel alone and want someone to play with her and she could be sad.

Answer 8

You have to do what you feel is right for you and not for everyone else. If your husband isn't supportive now, you're going to feel like a single Mom who has to do EVERYTHING for two kids under the age of five. That sounds like A LOT to me!!

Answer 9

Its your decision not anyone elses. You have to raise the child. If you content with one child, so be it. If you feel that you want your child to have a sibling, have one. Don't let people pressure you to do anything.

Answer 10

hi
its nice to have more than one kids cause they maybe in the same age they can talk 2 each author and understand every thing between them ..... and maybe some thing bad happen 2 you r daughter so what you can do ............ think more about it