how do i be nice to a guy who i just don't like?

Question

well this guy (from my church) told me , like 2 years ago, that he liked me, and i did not like him that way at all! since then things just havn't been the same. i feel very uncomfortable around him and sometimes i am mean to him. i have tried to be nice but he takes it as flirting and gets all weird and acts stupid... i know i am supposed to show the love of God to everyone but... how???

ONLY CHRISTIAN ANSWERS PLEASE!!!! I DON'T WANT TO READ ALL THAT OTHER CRAP!!!

Answer 1

Sometimes showing the love of God can be the hardest thing and you probably should have gone to God first with this problem so He can direct you in the best way of approaching this guy. When this happened to me a while ago, the Spirit directed me to speak to the guy, letting him know how much I did appreciate his interest in me but I really did not feel comfortable with the way he thought my being nice was "flirty". He then saw things from my viewpoint and we are friendly now, though not real friends. But pray about this first, it helps.

Answer 2

Explain to him you are only trying to be nice but are not interested in him. To be honest there probably isn't anyway to get rid of a stalker without a restraining order LOL! But that wouldn't work at church so just tell him that in any case if he cares about you then he should stop bothering you all the time and maybe that will work. You could always have a mutual friend of the both of you set him straight in a nice way.

Answer 3

You need to be honest with him. He opened the door already by telling you that he liked you. Your are going to have to bite the bullet and tell him that you don't feel the same way. Explain that you respect him as a brother in Christ and want to maintain a comfortable atmoshphere since you both attend the same church. Pray before you have this conversation and ask God to help you. You also need to ask forgiveness for being mean to him. I know from experience God will help you when you strive to do the right thing. It is awesome that you realize you need to show the love of God. It shows that you desire to please Him.

Answer 4

One of the worst things a woman can do to a man is not tell him the truth that she is not interested in him.

If you don't tell him anything and only sometimes act mean and sometimes act nice to him, then you are confusing him and making him hope that some day you will like him.

The longer this goes on, the bigger his disappointment will be when he eventually finds out for sure that you are not interested in him.

Tell him in private honestly and openly that he has no chance with you and let him look for some other woman.

Answer 5

It's best to talk to this guy about the situation. Of course, it will be hard, but confrontation can only get everything out. You may both decide that friendship is too hard, but you may also realize that you two can make great friends. Don't live in the past; you two may have already became good friends if you had just talked through the awkward feelings. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Think, what would Jesus do? You can be nice to this guy and let it be known that you do have boundaries at the same time. If he steps over a boundary, be firm but nice that you will not tolerate the behaviour. Eventually he will get the idea and stop the bad stuff and you could have a very good friend from it all.

Answer 7

if you wanna show the love of God the best way to do it is to be truthful and not be mean,confront him and tell him again that you dont like him,that you just want him as a friend and nothing more,also tell him that you feel uncomfortable around him when he tries to flirt.tell him you want only friendship and nothing more and that if he cant accept that,then try to avoid him as much as possible so u wont have to be mean

Answer 8

First of all, Its not being mean, if you straight out tell him that you are uncomfortable around him and don't have those kind of feeling toward him, being honest with him, even though it might hurt him is much more important....In the end you will feel better venting it to him...and for him...hopefully he will move on and really realize that there is no chance of you to getting together, and you shouldn't feel bad about it.

Answer 9

Have you actually told him that you aren't interested in him in a romantic way? You may have to be really blunt and tell him that you want him to leave you alone. How often do you see this person? If it's only at church functions maybe you can get your pastor to intervene and talk to him about his behavior. It seems petty, but sometimes there are people who just don't get it. If he is contacting you outside of church and you have already told him to leave you alone, that's stalking and it's illegal (and creepy) and you may have to get tougher.
It's ok to "love" your neighbor but it's not ok for them to drive you crazy.

Answer 10

I know what you mean. I have a fellow in my life who I don't dislike, but he's sweet on me and I dodge his flirtation at every opportunity.

If we sit close to each other in a social setting, he turns his body to face me and takes an "aren't I sexy kind-of pose" and it just makes my skin crawl.

I find myself avoiding him, lest I give him any cues that I'm interested.

May I suggest that the next time you speak with him, if he says anything of even the most remote interest, you say, Oh, I think my boyfriend likes that....

Introduce a fake boyfriend and bring him up on each occasion.

If he quizzes you, ask him why he's interested.

OMGoodness I'm teaching you to lie....sorry.