I have a prob with my dad...pls help me...?

Question

I wanna become an engineer,but i havn't got good rank in entrance tests.I had a talk with my family.after the talk was over my dad made a conclusion that I have a BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!Its not true.All my friends have bf or gf but i dnt have a bf.Dad made a conclusion that the reason I didn't score good marks is that im having an affair with some one.But its not the reason!!!!Currently im not talking to him.My mom says all dads are like that.The day u r (a girl) born , ur dad is always worried.im really v.v.v.v.v.v.v upset.First my results n now this stupid topic which is worthless.Pls tell me how should i forget this seen of my life?What should I do?Moreover my frnds keeps teasing me that is dnt have a bf.I dnt know what to do.....

Answer 1

I had the same problem with my mother (single parent)...because my younger sister and older brother rebelled and partied, and my sister had boyfriends, suddenly I'm having an affair with a 30 year old man and having sex, drinking, and smoking. That wasn't the case at all. Sadly, I don't think I handled it right...the only thing I did was ignore her and go on with my life being who I was and doing the right things. Sooner or later she got the picture and is actually normal now. I'm not sure what to tell you to do; but if you can salvage your relationship with your dad, do it. I never had a relationship with my mother, so maybe that was why she was so psychotic with me. The best thing I can say is to just stay strong in what you believe and keep being yourself and working hard. Sooner or later he'll see that he has a wonderful daughter who doesn't do stuff like that. In the end, he'll see what he's missed and the time he could have had with you. When he realizes this, he'll come around and you two can start again.
Just don't let anyone bring you down; and if you don't want a boyfriend now so you can focus on your future, then don't. Don't let your "friends" talk you into doing something you don't want to. If they really are your friends, then they'll support you :)
Hope everything works out for you!!! :)

Answer 2

well now, before i say anything about the fact that your dad is upset with you or that fact your having an affair with some guy, i Don't think that your friends have the right to tease you of having or not having a boyfriend, it's none of their bussiness to tell when to, or to whom should you courter..i mean be with, alright ..it's not a matter or being teased or even been pushed to ..to have a boyfriend or actually making one as your mate is because you love him..or maybe there is somthing in common in between you two..understand what i mean, so if you are going to have one (a boy friend) then it must be coz you want to, or that you have found one that you like or love, not that your friends say so..okey girl.
And about your father being disappointed by your scores and blaming your boyfriend for it , is only coz he cares ..nothing much..so more or less you have to talk with your father...locking up your room or even not talking to your father will not make things any better..so if you can bring your bf home and introduce him to your family and maybe even the two of you can study together and get things on the right tracks i think your father could try to understand you. So think this over and talk to your dad and make him see that his girl is grown up and can look after her self . Alright girl!! O ya good luck on becoming an Engineer too!!

Answer 3

Look this is my view. The reason you may have a problem with the tests is because you need to study harder and start job shadowing...that is go to the place where an engineer is most likely to let you tag along for a day and ask as many questions as possible. As for the dad problem that's entirely a different subject. Ask yourself have you ever failed tests before due to boyfriends or friends in general. If so does you father know about it. You cant make someone believe something their not willing to believe remember that. give him time and eventually he will come around. If not then let him think and do as he will.

Answer 4

What your dad said was not very sensitive to your feelings, but you need to ask yourself if your dad loves you and wants the best for you.

He probably feels you are a very smart young woman that could have done better on an entrance test to follow a career that she would like to pursue. His little girl is growing up and dads tend to be protectors, so he probably has some anxiety that he will not always be there for you.

You may want to talk to your mom first to explain your frustration in yourself and wanting a boyfriend. Then you and your mother can discuss this with your dad. Keep communication open, your parents were once teenagers too.

Answer 5

First of all, if you really want to be an engineer and don't have adequate test scores, you really need to study for and retake the exams again. That is a beautiful dream to have and don't let one test score or you father or your friends steal that dream from you. As for your dad, you need to talk to him again if you want to resolve this situation. OF course, you can just ignore his comments, but that will not change how you feel about the situation and it will not resolve this or any other issue with your dad. Tell him how you feel. Tell him, in as respectful a way as possible, that this has nothing to do with the boyfriend you don't have, that it has to do with your future and the life you are trying to create for yourself. Ask him if he would rather have you come and live off him for the rest of his life? And as for your friends, true friends don't put you down for anything you have or don't have, including boyfriends. Let them know it offends you. If they don't respond in a positive way or continue to make fun of you, it looks like you need to find some different people who truly appreciate what you have to offer to the world.

Answer 6

rIf you are really ambitious to engineering course study well and try the entrance exam next time in between you can go for some shot term courses which may help you in future. May this was a dream of your father that to send you for an engineering course. He may don’t have sufficient money to find a payment seat for you. So he disappointed and he made conclusion that you have boy friend. Allow him some time. Friend’s command about boy friend no one will make fire to his house if some rates or cockroaches in side the house.

Answer 7

Dear, you are getting a very good opportunity to learn and handle relations! Do avail this and you will be a happier lot.

First and foremost for you, having friendship and friends is no problems at all wthether they are BF or GF.

Let the time pass a little more and your dad cool down, you take up this topic one-to-one with your dad when he is in happy mood, Be prepared for strong parental dose but at the same time be polite and firm with your dad about your point of view. Speak to him heart to heart and one to one. Keep your mind open and appreciative of his concerns for you (particularly with the kind of childhood and family atmosphere he had when he was young). Make him realise that you respect him and care for his guidance, yet with changing time you need space to grow and mature to lead a (socially) healthy life of present days. Make sure whatever you say you really mean that.

I am sure he will change his opinions about you for positive and would be more confident about your character and personality.

About your studies, whatever has happened - gone now. But do put in your sincere efforts for future for your own good.

About your friends who keep teasing you for not having a BF, I think after a successful session with your father, you won't require any suggestions to tackle them.

If you act on my suggestions and 'again' if possible, do let me know the outcome.

Be a strong person and lead a very healthy life.

Answer 8

you mustn't look on this things on this way.we all sometimes want to change our parents and family,but of course we can't.But there is always something you can do.Parents always will say things about our lives and mistakes,but what is more important,you must do what you think it's right for you,cause they won't be forever with you.it would be nice if you try to explain them that this is your life and it doesn't even matter if you even have a boyfriend or not but it's more important that you tried to pass the exams but you couldn't.that doesn't mean that you are stupid.I thing this is just opportunity to find out that you supposes to try the hardest you can to succeed.and new opportunities will come again and than it won't be matter what your parents or friends say.do what you want to do cause your life is only yours.
and for the teasing,tell your friends that you don't like that and if they are true friends they would understand.you have to explain them(your friends and parents)that you will have bf. only when you will fell ready for bf.or any other relationship with people,and that isn't their business.

Answer 9

i know how u feel cuz this happened to me ...all i can tell u is do what u feel like doing if u want to be an engineer try hard even if u had to repeat the year or whatever...if u want to have a boyfirend be urself and one day u will find the right one dont ever do smth u r not convinced in doing it so what if ur friends are teasing u dont let anyone bother u,,,and talk to ur dad and explain to him that if u r having an affair u will be honest u dont have to lie and they have to respect you either ur dad or ur friends....

wish u the best of luck my friend and cheer up u r still young and u have alot to do and enjoy...

Answer 10

WEll you could do one of two things !st get a bf to piss off your dad or 2nd forget what they think just because they can't stand to be without a boyfriend and you are that don't mean **** so just become a engineer if that is what you want...and tell your dad not only guys are good at being a engineers.