why guys will go by only girls looks and figures, why do they not go by a girl's heart?

Question

see, i am a B.Com graduate girl, who is pursuing my MBA in correspondence. I am also working in a software company as a team leader. I am on the obesity side. My parents r searching a good guy for me for marriage from past 4-5 years. But all in vain. Who ever comes to see me, will reject me only because i am fat.
So, i have been wondering are there no guys who will like a girl by seeing her pure heart or how much love and care she gives. i really wonder why guys r so particular about a girl's figure.

Answer 1

Because in today's society, looks mean everything. Most men want that perfect girl with the perfect body so every other guy can go "I want that girl!" or "I want a girl just like that!". They don't realize that underneath all those clothes and makeup, there can be a girl that's a total b****. The heart will forever be how it is now. Looks fade with time. You will find that man, trust me. It took me a while to find a guy to accept me for me (and we've been together 6 wonderful months!). Hang in there, and keep looking sweetheart!!!

Answer 2

Listen to RepublicansAreCruel, Sara K, MerryMatriarch, and anyone else who tells you the following things: A) being fat isn't the same as being unattractive (although the degree of your obesity may be unhealthy, see your doctor for more info), B) no man will appreciate A until you do, C) there are men out there who will see A, even before you do.

I'm a skinny but healthy, slightly dark-skinned, broad-shouldered, hung, and handsome male, and more than 1/2 of the women I have dated, especially all the women I considered for marriage, have been plus-sized women. Of course, I'm a hopeless romantic, so I was always falling in love when I was younger and considering marriage, but there came a time when I matured learned enough to know what real love meant, and the first woman I considered for marriage after that point was the largest I've ever dated. Some people even wondered what I was doing with her, but I loved everything about her.

Now, I try to not date overly overweight women, only because their own uncomfortability with their weight drives them to break my heart, but even my fiancee now is slightly plus-sized. Even so, I'm still thought of as sexy by a lot of women, regardless of their size, but I will still see a woman as beautiful, regardless of size. Remember that part of being a BBW (big beautiful woman) is seeing yourself that way.

Answer 3

No one would like and unhealthy person that doens't take care of themselves. Obesity is a disease and you cannot blame it on others. You have to regain your life back and be happy and those extra pounds are hiding your beautiful side.

Being bitter about people not being atracted to you due to your obesity is the wrong choice. Do it for YOURSELF because you want to be healthy and wanna take of you. No one can do it for you and is hard work. If you have concern for your own health then try to loose the weight.

I can tell you that people are shallow, that society bla bla bla, but the truth is that if you don't love yourself no one will love you back.

Start slow and go for a walg during your break time and luch time. Eat a light dinner and replace sodas with unsweeten ice tea or water. You will feel better inside out.

Good luck

Answer 4

Congrats on you continuing you educataion. Guys are jerks every last one of them but there are some (who are very few and VERY far between) who aren't.
I myself am over weight. I am about 280 now, but before I met my finace I was 330lbs. I've lost so much weight. Not because my finace told me too, not because he told me he wouldn't be with me. Actually he didn't care, he loves me who who I am on the inside and the out side. Guys do look at looks and so oh well because she this and that then she's ugly. My finace wakes up everyday and says Good Morning Beautiful. When I met him I wasn't looking for anything, bearly a friendship, but God was telling me this is the one who you will spend the rest of your life with.....my best advise is Let go and Let God, cause he will guide you in the right directions. If you ever need anyone to talk too Msoutherngirl@yahoo,.com is my email, just send me something and I'll help ya as much as I can. Good Luck

Answer 5

Ok, I'm gonna try to be nice here. It doesn't have much to do with what sex you are. Both guys and women are guilty of this practice. And both can deny it all they want. The fact is that we all have standards. I don't consider myself attractive in the least, so I'll admit my standards of beauty are low compared to, say, Brad Pitt. Throughout my life I have always been the quiet dependable slightly chubby type. In truth the quiet part was what caused my loneliness, not the chubby or unattractive parts. I had plenty of girls in high school who now would probably say I was a great shoulder to cry on or a wonderful person to have a meaningful conversation with, but yet I spent most of my teen years lonely. It's because we all have standards. I'm sure there were girls who would have dated me but my standards were too high to consider them. It's a part of life. Sadly, if you're looking to date, I think you have to go for your own standards. If you're looking for love, well, I found out sometimes you have to wait for it to find you. And any girl who says this is not true, believe me it is. Every single person will deny a prospective date based on appearance if that person is unattractive enough. So ask yourself what your own standards are.

Answer 6

You need to get out there and look for yourself. There are a lot of guys who would be interested, but how are they going to go by anything but looks through your parents? I have several large female friends who do very well in the love department even without the degrees.

Go to karaoke, men there seem to be very open to getting to know you before making rash decisions. If the guy feels like you're being presented for auction or trade, the are going to go with the showroom girl. Show them your personality and wear an outfit andf be well groomed and that will let them know that you take pride in who you are and they will flock.

Being fair though, if you identify yourself as obese so will they. You need to see the inner beauty to project her. Be the skinny girl in "Shallow".

Answer 7

As a 370# man I understand where you are coming from I have dated women ranging from 80# to 280# and they all have been beautiful in different was I believe that men do that because they feel the need to make others feel bad about themselves so they will feel better .Women do the same thing Ive talked to women who have told me "go away fatty" or "what makes you think I would date you" but that's OK by me because most of them had problems with themselves that I was willing to look past. Don't worry sweetheart you will find him and he will find you and you will show them all that you are a beauty queen in you own way .

Answer 8

"why guys will go by only girls looks and figures, why do they not go by a girl's heart?" This is far from true. People of all shapes, sizes, and attractiveness get married everyday. If you aren't attracted to the men who are attracted to you, then it's time to make a change. If you don't want to change, then keep your head up - life is not all about getting married. Be an independant women who doesn't need a man to feel complete.

Answer 9

You need to know, not all men are the same. some men fall for a skinny pretty girl, but once they see who she really is. It never last, See, the heart has a way of coming out and showing the persons real, true colors. If that is what kind of guy your talking about, he is it worth your time. There is Some one is out there, that will love you, for what and who you are. But you may need to ask yourself what are you looking for in a man? and how are you rateing men in your life?

Answer 10

I would agree with some of the other responses and say that "some" men are shallow and only want a woman that has a "bangin'" body . . and most of the time, they only want her for sex. Speaking as someone who was once also in your position, just be patient. If you believe, pray and ask God to help you be patient and wait for him to send your Mr. Right.

Someone in another response said that you should lose weight to attract men to you. I strongly disagree. If you choose to lose weight, do it for yourself . . not for ANY man. A man should love you for who you are, not for who you look like. If he can't love you the way you are now, if he loves you just because you are in a smaller package, it's not unconditional . . or what they call "true love."