The problem is, I literally cannot lose something else I love in this life. I am so confused. When I am around him, I am absolutely mesmerized! When I am not with him, I start all this rationalization of why I should just be happy raising my two boys.
I have literally been hurt by, abandoned by, or lost every important person in my life.
He is the most wonderful man.
He doesn't know all of the things I have gone through.
Should I talk to him and let him know?
I don't want to scare him off but, I want him to know why I feel things the way I do, why I tick.
Please, no haters .
I really need input!
2006-06-13 19:10:38 · 10 answers · asked by rvogelpohl2001 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have the answer in your headline. The fact is, you do want to try the whole relationship thing again. It would help if we knew how long the two of you have been seeing each other, then again, it almost sounds like its a very new relationship. If it is a new relationship, then get to know him without revealing too much about your past hurts. If you really like this guy, get to know him without worrying about how it might end. Go into with an open mind and see where it goes. If you do not give yourself the opportunity to get to know someone first, without judging from what's happened in your past, you'll never find out if he's the right one for you. Life's too short, you never know when the love of your life will stand before you. Build walls and he will never find his way to your heart.
2006-06-13 19:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by jimmyweda 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to say, t hat is something only you and God can work on. Many women marry for a second time and are happy and others, as you know, are separated a few weeks later. I have a couple members of my family who had four children and their husbands were the worst. They divorced and remarried and the step fathers are better fathers than the biological fathers. Also , the children are grown and mentally stable. There is no doubt for a few of the children, they would have ended in the deep end.
Sure do hope that it works out. May God Bless.
2006-06-13 19:32:35 · answer #2 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't willing to confide in this guy, then you aren't willing to be in a relationship with him. Of course you should tell him about your life, both the ups and downs. Are you really willing to give up on all the good things that can happen between you and this man just because there is a small possiblity that you'll be hurt? You have a chance to heal with this man, to learn how to give your heart away again, to feel the sparks of a relationship! Remember, it's better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.
2006-06-13 19:16:27 · answer #3 · answered by visionssofaraway 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, starting again can be nearly impossible. Been there last year. Have lost everyone except my immediate family myself over the years, no close friends left anymore, but when I meet a woman who really takes my breath and we have fun together, well, it used to make me nervous and scared and want to run back to someone I already knew, but now it makes me want to bring them even closer into my life. This may take a while, but it wil happen as long as you don't shut yourself off. Doing that will only make you more afraid and if there is no chance of getting hurt then it means that you don't care and it isn't worth pursuing. The reward is proportional to the risk. Talk to him, feel him out and let him in on your feelings and background without overwhelming him, and then follow your heart. If you close yourself off, then your boys will grow up without knowing how to trust either.
2006-06-13 19:18:55 · answer #4 · answered by whiteknight3273 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain openly to this man what you have gone through. State how you want to take things slow. See what he says. Communicating your feelings is 1/2 the battle. If he is worth it, he will listen and work w/you. If it doesn't work out remember all things are a lesson 2 us. There will be another one more wonderful than the one b4.
2006-06-13 19:14:14 · answer #5 · answered by hpygrl01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, hon. i can totally relate to you. my advice is spend a lot of time with this person first. make SURE you love him. don't just jump in after a month or two of knowing him. years knowing him and you still feel this way? then it's probably for the best to take the risk. however, you DO have kids...so you have to be extra careful not to hurt them. i know from watching and listening to my nephews and neice that having a man walk in and out your life doesn't just affect you. God bless and if you need anything just IM or email me.
2006-06-13 19:15:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should take it slow, after he meets your kids, begin to explain to him everything you've been through, (in installments), and MAKE SURE he doesnt get an "oh, im just a friend" message or else he will be running for the border.
remember though, things in the past only affect the present if you let them. Everyday is a NEW day...
there are good guys in the world too...
2006-06-13 19:16:36 · answer #7 · answered by The Seitz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should talk to him! If he cares enough to take on you and your boys with no reservations, then it has to be because he knows who you really are. Hideing things is not a good way to have a lasting relationship. And hey, if he runs, then he really wasn't the right man for your family.
2006-06-13 19:18:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest with him. do it one thing at a time.
is he nice with the boys does he treat them as if they were his.
it is hard these days to find a good man that will help with someone else kids. i found mine and he took me and my three children and to this day he has always said they were his. there was no step put into the sentence because he said he did not have to step on them to get them.
so just be honest and if he loves you, you will know. but remember your children comes first. talk to them about him see if they want him there also. they are smart and will tell you the truth. love is a powerful thing enjoy it. have a happy life good luck.
2006-06-13 19:18:39 · answer #9 · answered by hipmama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES tell him all about who YOU are....... you will know real quick if he is worthy of YOUR love and devotion.... what are you waiting for ? scare him off ? If he runs, say goodbye in a loud voice and holler next even louder........... God bless
2006-06-13 19:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋