COMEDIAN IN DISTRESS, lol?

Question

Well, im a teen comedian that likes making ppl laugh but wat are some of your best jokes. come on help me out ppl

Answer 1

good comedians-well, rather, the best comedians-don't tell "jokes". jokes typically involve a set-up and a punchline. A good comedian will tell stories, relate experiences, elaborate upon their opinions, etc., with humorous material throughout. Granted, even the most intelligent, skilled, and surely hilarious comedians inevitably utitlize the punchline...but comedic success will never be found by searching out the "best jokes." as someone previously mentioned, finding your own voice is a key to success. I don't mean "voice" in the literal sense...i'm not talking about a ridiculously exaggerated accent, like that adopted by larry the cable guy (see here for larry before the cable guy, before he adopted his intentionally ignorant, heavily accented manner: http://www.pocketgear.com/software_detail.asp?id=18684). When i say voice, I am referring more to a set of convictions, a peronality, and more simply, a point of view. Actually, when i put it that way, i suppose larry's cable guy persona would fit...but please, don't rely on something as pathetic as feigned ignorance. For a great example of intelligent comedy, that doesn't rely on "jokes", listen to some David Cross...you may know him from some movies, or from the old hbo show "Mr. Show with Bob and David", or more likely and more recently from his role as Tobias Fuke on Arrested Development. I guess i'm full of contradictions though...Mitch Hedberg is another favorite comedian of mine and he relied almost entirely on "jokes". He is though, a great example of finding a voice...and as i say that, i realize more that i do mean voice fairly literally...if you've heard him, or once you check him out, you will surely know what i mean. Regardless, he is a stellar comedian.

that being said, i cannot resist telling you a favorite joke of mine:

WARNING: The following joke, though edited for "profanity", would be rated, at the very least, PG-13, or quite possibly rated R. Read on at your own risk:

(told as a genuine story, as believably as possible)
So, this one time, I'm having s*x with this girl, and i'm really goin at it. I'm giving it to her from behind and really getting into it...and i think to myself, "that is such a nice @ss...what the h#ll, why not put it in there?" so, i put it in her @ss...she turns around and says to me, "excuse me...putting it in my @ss?? isn't that a bit presumptious?" and i say, "presumptious? isn't that a bit of a big word for an eight-year-old??"

horrible, i realize...gross, offensive, and morally despicable. but, tell it to the right crowd and the laughter will be endless.

that's all i've got for you...some thoughts, some suggested comedians, and an awful, reprehensible joke.

enjoy.

Answer 2

Best Joke in the world:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

Did that make u laugh?? so i get the 10 points rite?

Answer 3

I would do impersonations of people that you and your friends like. Think of buying a dreadlocks wig and do Li'l John of the Eastside Boys. Just please do not get into the habit of making people laugh at other's expense. All too often comedians will pinpoint that one weak person and make them the butt of all of their jokes while everyone else laughs and that person feels hurt and embarrassed. I think it is okay to poke fun of your audience as long as you do it to everyone as a whole. You probably have great lines in your repertoire, so I would focus on your style, and your voice. Develop a color that you will consistently wear if you do talent/variety shows at your school. With your voice, develop a way to draw the audience in. For instance, on my favorite TV show "Good Times," JJ always growled his last words of his sentence, and he had signature lines like "Dynomite," and "Well, you know, just what can I say." Have fun with it. Who knows, you could be the next Chris Rock. Just remember to give a shout out to AdjoAdjo! ;)

Answer 4

A man is raking leaves in his front yard when he hears a voice. The voice says: "Sell your house, sell your car, take the money, and go to Las Vegas." He shakes his head and ignores the voice. Later on, during dinner, he hears the voice again. It says: "Sell your house, sell your car, take the money, and go to Las Vegas". Again, he ignores the voice. While in bed for the night, the voice keeps repeating "Sell your house, sell your car, take the money and go to Las Vegas". In the morning, after a sleepless night, he does as the voice commands. He sells his house, sells his car, takes all of the money and flies out to Las Vegas. When he lands at the airport, he hears the voice tell him: "Go to Caesar's Palace". The man obeys the voice and hails a cab and goes to Caesar's Palace. At the front door the voice says: "Go to the nearest roulette table." The man rushes inside and runs over to the first roulette table he sees. Once there, the voice say's "Put all of your money on black 17" He does just as the voice says. He puts very nickel he owns on black 17. The dealers spins the wheel and ball lands on red 24. The voice says "OOPS!"

Answer 5

Good Lord, kid, jokes are floating all over the net, but if you want to be a Real comic, use your own material, be original, find your own sense of humor and use it, don't copy others.

Answer 6

this was the most amazing joke ive ever heard, but if u arent/werent in band in school, u wouldnt understand. but anyways...
so there's santa clause, the tooth fairy , the easter bunny, and an on-time drummer in an enclosed, square room. a quarter is placed in the middle of the room. who will get to the quarter first?.............none of them, cause none of them exist. (haha cause percussionists are never on time!!!)

Answer 7

keep reading jokes where ever u get, but make ur own comedy statements, based on sitution.
Take inspiration and b real

Answer 8

Tell the truth, connect. Don't tell jokes, tell the truth.
http://www.DaveCelestian.com