Okay, My parents just told me I have two deceased sisters. I dont/will never get to know them. They would be twenty now.. I am thirteen. One of them died 5 hours after birth and one ran away. Its scary to think about!! Should I be upset? I mean, I dont know them.. I'm really confused.. And I cant believe my parents kept this from me... Please help!! NO RUDE COMMENTS PLEASE!
2006-06-13 18:10:46 · 20 answers · asked by ,<3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
just think about it this way at least they did tell you i have a close friend that had a brother that he really cared about and THOUGHT was his real brother all of his life intil his brother died then they told him that wasn't his real brother ya kno wit could be alot worse. You know what might make you feel better ask about them ask for pics get to know your sisters cuz one day you could be seeing them.
2006-06-13 18:18:09 · answer #1 · answered by steffanie collette 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... That is tragic and is going to take some time for you to process.
I assume from your statement that they were twins - my hubby is a twin & his brother died just after birth...
The other ran away??? This is puzzling - even if you were a baby your sis would have been at most 7 - running away at 7??
Do you know for certain that your other sister is deceased?
Parents, much like anybody, don't really know what or when to talk - especially to their children. While they kept this horrible secret and you feel betrayed and untrusted - you have every right to have a mixture of emotions about this.
Think of how your mom & dad must feel. I can tell you that the thoughts of losing any of my children, whether death or abandonment, would shred me inside. I would try to put those thoughts as far inside me as I possibly could just to get up and start my day each day.
Think through all of this, talk through this - especially with your mom & dad...
2006-06-14 01:16:53 · answer #2 · answered by offerofopinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definitely okay for you to be confused about how you should feel about your sisters. I just found out this year that I had a twin that died before we were born; I don't entirely know how you feel but I can relate. I think that you probably didn't find out until now because your parents wanted to make sure you were mature enough to handle shocking information like this. You can be upset if that's really how you want to feel, but being upset will not make you any less confused, especially if you're upset towards the only people who can shed some more light on the issue: your parents. My suggestion is, if you're confused and you have questions, tell your parents and try to sit down and talk to them about it. Trust me, it will make you feel a lot better.
2006-06-14 01:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by Subira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some times parents dont realize how they hurt their kids. You should have been told about your sisters. If mom and dad cant or wont talk about them to you ask your grandma or grandpa or may aunts or uncles. Are you sure the one who ran away is really deceased if so ask how. I can see why your upset but do as i said ask other relatives and see if there are photos. This is so sad. i hope you get your answers and maybe some sense of your sisters. Also this may have been very painful to them and they didnt know how to tell you or if you would understand.
2006-06-14 01:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by soeur_deux_de_ny2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the one that ran away is deceased????? If she is not find her. I dont think that you should be mad. How old are you??? I think that if I had kids and 2 of them were deceased I would wait til my child was old enough to talk to them. Young kids probably would not understand.
My sister was carrying a child and about 6 months along she had a miscarriage. Her son (my nephew being 3years old) new that he was going to have a baby sister. When the baby never came he thought that his mommy took the baby away and he became very mad at her and god. I would not tell my kids they have a deceased sibbling til they were old enough.
2006-06-14 01:16:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not a huge suprise that they waited until you were 13.. because they think that you are mature enough now to handle it. And because telling a 5 year old that they had sisters that died or ran away would make you really really sad. And now you can kind of handle it. I believe what your parents did was fair.
2006-06-14 01:15:46 · answer #6 · answered by David 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... One ran away? So you know for sure she's no longer living? That's a lot to take on all at once. Your parents probably wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand, but obviously it's never easy to accept news like that. I'd be upset for not being told sooner, but I do see their reason for it also... I'm sorry I really wish I knew what to say!
2006-06-14 01:15:14 · answer #7 · answered by london_calling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look Dear sudden things happen in life. You should not get upset by it ok. Just think Whatever God do is for you favor ok. You should met your sister may be she would be so sweet that u start loving her n she starts loving you. ok first thing that you should met her and after meeting her if you dont like her then simply tell your mother that you didnt like her n dont want to meet her again. and listen dont be confused n upset ok.
Hope you got answer of the question
2006-06-14 01:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by Cool Like Fire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if it didnt effect you life before, why should the knowledge of it effect you now. There is nothing you can do about it, and there is no sence in dwelling on the past (especially a past you didn't live). Take the realistic way out of this and face the issue head on and learn to accept it and become comfortable with it. No sence in feeling guilty over something you had no controll over what-so-ever.
2006-06-14 01:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, yes you have the right to be upset..... but....... I really think your parents were waiting till you got old enough to understand...... and I would just imagine they did not know HOW to tell you..... and I am quiet sure the pain they have been feeling these past years must have been unbearable at times..... losing 2 children ?? *sigh*, my heart breaks for them.... don't be so rough on them...... I have come *close* to loosing 2 of the 3 of my children, thank God, I still have them, but I can NOT imagine the pain of loosing a child.... and you cant either !! talk to them about your feelings...... be honest , but be compassionate about it...... ask them to help you get to know your sisters..... stories, pictures etc....... but give them time...... this is now a different area of grief for them....... it is prob. like reliving the whole night mare........ God bless
2006-06-14 01:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋