my bf and i have been together for 15 years. he proposed on valentines day and his mother announced it out the next family gathering. me & my bf feel as though we are married we both don't want a wedding or anything. I just want to go to the courthouse - but everyone is asking (family) when is the date? now bf's brother has also asked his girlfriend of couple years and they are going to get married in june. it's be 4 months since he proposed what should we do? how should we handle. we don't want to hrt anyones feelings. I love his family but don''t necessarily want anyone there or making a fuss. or Am I abnormal for not wanting a wedding with floers and cake and band arrangements and finding a place and all that nonsense.?
2006-06-13 17:40:45 · 11 answers · asked by calisweet61 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
don't stress over it...just say that you've been together SO long, you both feel your married already..this is just a formality...you might want to think of a private family party at some point..then there shouldn't be any hurt feelings...you don't even have to think of the party as for your wedding...just a family get together...good luck...
2006-06-13 17:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep telling people you haven't set a date. It's true you haven't, and then one day go get married. Next time someone asks, tell them the date was last Tuesday. You don't want a big wedding, so don't have one. That's a lot of money to spend on something you don't want. Elope somewhere, you'll be happier. I recommend going somewhere that you want honeymoon. Plan a vacation and don't tell anyone that you're getting married too.
Vegas is popular because the license office is open until midnight 7 days a week and 24 hours on holidays. Also every casino has a chape. There are some beautiful places to get married there, that aren't in a casino. Friends of ours got married in Red Rock Canyon. It's still one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to. There were 8 of us in this awesome canyon. You can get married in the Valley of Fire, Lake Mead, there are a bunch of places that aren't tacky.
You could get married in the Outerbanks on the beach.
You can go to the smokey mountains to a small chapel in the woods.
You could go to the poconos, there are a ton of places there to get married.
You can get married on a cruise, almost of the cruise lines offer a wedding package.
You can do a destination wedding to an island or Mexico.
There is an old English tradition of running off to Gretna Green in Scotland to get married.
You can get married in a bunch of different castles in Britain.
There are so many places you can get married, good luck.
2006-06-14 04:20:31 · answer #2 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are totally normal, and good for you. I think weddings are dreadful--you can tell just by reading the questions on here.
When people ask you when's the date, just say, "Well, we've decided against a big ceremony, so we'll just be going to the courthouse." I don't think you need to say anything else. Just do it as soon as possible, without making a big fuss. It's for you, not everybody else.
2006-06-14 03:01:16 · answer #3 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it however you want to! If you want to go to the courthouse, do it! When people ask, just politely tell them the date and mention that since you've been together for so long you're just going to go to the courthouse and make it legal. People would understand! Plus, by his brother getting married, that takes some of the heat off of you! Good luck! :o)
2006-06-14 07:34:44 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you and your boyfriend should invite only your closest friends and family to a let's just say a "family gathering" make them belive it's just a pre-wedding get together and once they are all togther announce that they actually there because you are going to get married. That way only your closest friends and family are there to witness one of the most important days of your life. Congratulations and best wishes!
2006-06-14 00:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with the people that are asking about the date and both of you explain that you want a quiet ceremony, and don't want a lot of fuss--but wouldn't object if they really want to throw an informal "open House" or something.
2006-06-14 00:47:46 · answer #6 · answered by aidanmakes3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU WANT TO go to the courthouse- then go and then maybe plan a dinner party. myself and my sister did it this way and it turned out very nice. we kept it small- only family- got some balloons- had a cake- threw a little toast in there- everybody was happy and no one could complain.
2006-06-14 01:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by Valsey J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty over what you want. Tell them you may have a reception at a later date, but that right now you just want a small private civil ceremony.
2006-06-14 13:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's amazing what one gets use to in life ---- why do you feel that it's all nonsense --- you don't have any joy or expectation of this new chapter in your relationship---- is your relationship in such a rut that you can't find excitement in having a wedding with all the trimmings--- you deserve this honor---
2006-06-14 02:36:56 · answer #9 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are perfectly normal for not wanting all that. maybe more so than those who are willing to live for years in debt to pay for one night of fun and flowers... :) If it had been up to me, i would have taken the money and invested it, and let the partygoers find free fun elsewhere....!
2006-06-14 13:12:08 · answer #10 · answered by Leah S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋