My mom and my aunt are decorating for my wedding next month. Its just a simple house wedding. My mom wants to get this huge colum thingy and flowers everywhere.
Granted I am my parents only girl, but mom told me last night " Im spending more on your than I did for you brother" I am the bride this should be exiciting to me but I feel like, no one is listening when I try to throw and idea out, I don't know how to tell my mom that I don't feel like my opoions are being heard.
2006-06-13 17:08:20 · 26 answers · asked by msoutherngirl 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
This is a common thing, as an ex Bridal Consultant in Beverly Hills many mothers get carried away. They start thinking about how they are going to impress their family friends. My advise is to Sit her down and softly say, Mom it is my day. A very special day. What I would like is............
Make sure she realizes you appreciate her help, but it is YOUR wedding.
2006-06-13 17:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't know what your relationship with your mom is like, but hopefully it's good enough that you can sit down with her and just tell her how you feel. I know that can be hard, and you should definitely be sure and tell her how much you appreciate all of her work (although I would probably be irritated about the remark about spending more on you than your brother - of course she is, the bride's parents host the wedding. She's spending more than the groom's parents are.), but that you'd really enjoy this a lot more as well as the memories you'll have if you felt like it was something that you guys were doing together instead of her doing it FOR you. That way you aren't attacking her, you aren't making it seem like you don't want her to be involved, but you are telling her that you want to be involved. If that doesn't work, you have 2 choices: 1. Live with what she and your aunt are doing, because really, the whole day is going to be such a blur that you won't remember any of it until you look at pictures! or 2. Have another talk with your mom, and be more blunt and straightforward, and if you decide that you would rather elope or pay for your own wedding than have the wedding that she is planning, then tell her that, but only if you are 110% certain and prepared to follow through, because otherwise you'll come across as a kid crying wolf, and she'll be even less inclined to listen to anything you say.
2006-06-13 17:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remind her that this is YOUR wedding and that you would like to decide some things yourself and have your opinion heard so that it will be the way you dream of it yourself. Just have a calm talk to her and ask her to take it into consideration that you want to do some of the planning yourself. Say that you appreciate what they've been doing for you, but that you have something different in mind than they do and would like to be more involved in the planning.
Good luck.
2006-06-13 23:04:55 · answer #3 · answered by undir 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm under the impression that your mom is paying for this shindig. If this is the case, I don't think you get much of a say. I've always believed that the person who buys is the one in charge, regardless of who's "day" it is. But since you are not likely to agree with me, I suggest that you sit your mom down and explain how you want it done. If she doesn't budge, than you pay for your own wedding. That simple.
2006-06-13 17:14:11 · answer #4 · answered by Eleanor Rigby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I heard my mom saying that when she got marry her Mom (my grandmother) planed the full image of her wedding...
Then few years ago when my sister was getting married my Mother actually did exactly what my grandmother did to her...
So I guess this is how the story goes... with mothers and daughters...Don't worry let her do her spending and finall plans for you...then you will be on your own to plan the rest of your married destiny life..but even there mothers interfere, But I guess they do once they feel their daughters are weak on several things in life, such as decisions and e.t.c GOOD LUCK...!!! :-)
2006-06-13 19:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by mnl318 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl...I'm telling you...I hate that guilt stuff they pull...I am getting married too...And we have not set a date for that specific reason...They want to fight over you because you are their only girl and that scares them to death that maybe you are not going to be around them anymore...I would step my butt up there and put my foot right in their door...This is spose to be "YOUR" day not anyone else's...Now if you really love the guy and you really really wanna marry him...You can talk to him about it too...Then you guys can both work together to kick the situation and clear it up...Even though it has only to do with your family and not between his mom and yours...LOL...I hate that...That line she gave you though was her guilt and grief thing losing her baby girl...Don't hold that against her...Just let her have that moment...Meanwhile putting your foot in the door and explaining to them that this is your day and you want a definite say-so up in this most momentous occasion...OR there is a better decision that always works on them...Tell them that you and your man are going away on a relaxing trip before the wedding thing and then you guys just happen to send them a postcard telling them that you two got eloped and that will bring them to their senses...You don't even have to get eloped...Just tell them that and then sneak back home to them with your man and see how it went and then they will cheer up and let you have your moments of glamour...Or you could just go ahead and get eloped anyways and take a perfect honeymoon and send them a postcard...LOL...
2006-06-13 17:21:05 · answer #6 · answered by *Panda* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and put together a scrap book of what you want. Use a few brides books and some pics of your house. Then show it to her. Tell her this is what you see when you dream of the wedding. Tell her that you love her and apprieciate all she is doing but you need for her to see your dream, not her own. Try and compromise.
2006-06-13 17:13:12 · answer #7 · answered by mrscmmckim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO eloping or canceling...Just relax you are the one getting married and your parents are nice enought to pay for it...Your mother and your anut are vicariously living through you- perhaps they didn't have any one helping them or giving them a nice wedding....you will be out of the house and on your own for a very long time, so enjoy the special feelings your mother and aunt are putting into this day for you....they want it to be the best day for you to remember- and all you need to do is show up and go down the isle to your husband- you will be taking care of your husband and yourself and then kids and your household for a long time on your own...so ENJOY someone waiting on you....
Be so thankful your parents are able to help you and able to afford this special day for you....Just Relax and find out what time they want you to show up and enjoy your day-
2006-06-13 20:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by fscape444 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, she's all excited too. Dont blow up at her, it will hurt her feelings. Look at it this way: you dont have to worry about the details. You are the princess this day and they can do all the work. Im getting married next month too, July 29th, and I have to pay for everything myself. Im pretty much organizing everything myself too. I wish I had some help in taking care of all of this.
2006-06-13 17:17:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not realize out of your question what you've planned, yet listed right here are some miscellaneous issues to element about.. . ,bridesmaids clothing and presents, groomsmen a tire and presents, favors, toasting flutes, flower female baskets, ring bearer pillow, alcohol, wedding ceremony gown,shoes,head piece. music for the marriage and reception, microphone, cake reducing, seating plan
2016-10-14 03:44:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋