Does anyone have a Catholic/Protestant Marriage?

Question

I really like this guy but I am Catholic and he is Protestant. I'm worried that this will cause problems in the future. It doesn't seem like anyone plans on converting at the moment. Does anyone have any advice or experience in this area?

I should mention that "this guy" is a serious boyfriend and we have been discussing marriage.

Also my boyfriend believes that the family should all go to the same church. I believe this is ideal but is it truely possible without someone comprimising their beliefs?

Answer 1

We've been married for 30 years- love conquers all- just respect each others beliefs and do not try to convert each other.

Answer 2

My brother is Catholic and and my sister in law is the other. She did have to sign a piece of paper stating she would do every thing in her power to raise her children Catholic. They are married 8 years and growing. With to of the most beautiful girls I have seen. Please understand I am a little prejudice to my nieces.

Also, my Godchild's parents are a inter faith marriage. The father is Catholic and mother another faith. When they presented her with the form (that I was just talking about above) the father got angry and told the priest she will not sign anything and you be at the church to be there to marry us. they have been married 26 years and growing They have 3 beautiful daughters also. 2 of the children are baptized Catholic and the other is the mother faith. They decided that each child the had they would go back and forth in faiths the first Catholic the other Lutheran and so that why they have 2 Catholic and one Lutheran. If they had one more child it would have been Lutheran.

I think you should be fine is you marry outside your faith just make sure that your child understands the importance of God and Jesus and that they love us no matter what.

My husband is Catholic but i know I would have married him regardless. remember Love conquers All.

Answer 3

I have the opposite situation - I'm Methodist, & my boyfriend is (non-practicing!) Catholic. We're planning to get married, & the religion thing has been hard at times. Traditionally, the wedding is in the bride's church, but his whole family would have strokes if we did!! Even without the rules/restrictions of getting married in the Catholic church (ie, agreeing to raise children Catholic, & there are some priests/parishes where they just won't marry you without converting), I don't want a Catholic wedding. Converting isn't an option for either of us - Catholicism is ingrained in him (even though I don't remember him ever going to Mass except weddings/funerals.) I actually read, studied, & prayed a LOT about it, b/c if I could accept it & convert, life would be much easier (we still haven't told his g'ma I'm not Catholic b/c we're afraid it might kill her!), but there are too many things about it that I don't agree with/believe in. I voted for weekend in Vegas, but in talking about it, we've realized that even if we elope, we both still want a spiritual ceremony. So I guess we'll have to find a minister AND a priest (that's the hard one - again with the rules!) who will perform a joint ceremony outside of a church (again, the priest is the hard part!) & hope that neither family boycotts.

And then - kids!! I'm Protestant - to us, babies are christened as a blessing, but baptism happens when they're old enough to choose their own beliefs. To him, if they aren't baptized & something happens, they go to Purgatory. I said that if he wanted to christen them Catholic, fine, but I won't be part of the ceremony b/c I'm not standing in church & agreeing to raise children in a faith that I don't believe in. He didn't like that answer. And godparents...well, that's a whole other issue! I think kids should grow up exposed to both - I'll take them to Sunday School/church, & he can take them to Mass, & when they're old enough, they can decide what they believe. He thinks that'll just confuse them.

Bottom line, both Catholicism & Protestantism are Christian faiths with the same basic beliefs - Christ as the Son of God who died to wash away our sins. The details are what gets tricky, but I think it would be much harder to blend two religions that don't share any common philosophies: Christianity/Judaism, Judaism/Islam, etc. Communicate & be honest, & you will figure out if you are willing & able to find a compromise & make it work. I know we'll spend the rest of our lives trying to figure it all out, but after 12 years, I can't imagine anything that's more worth the effort.

Answer 4

According to the Catholic Church, Marriage is a Sacrament, unlike the Protestant religions. It would be beneficial to you and your future spouse to consult both of your spiritual leaders before you commit to which church you will attend. He does not have to convert to get married in the Catholic church, but, if you do not get married in the Catholic church, the Church will not recognize it as a Sacramental union.

Talk to your fiance with a priest, and discuss what options you have...

Answer 5

My parents have a Catholic/Protestant marriage. My father is Methodist (Protestant) and my mom Roman Catholic. Neither of them has converted and they have a wonderful marriage and have been married for 11 years. They have demanding jobs that do not allow them to go to church every Sunday, however they go every chance they get. They attend services together and "rotate" between their two churches. One time they go to the Methodist church and the next time they go to the Catholic church. Before I moved out I had to go along. I was raised Methodist and despised going to the Catholic church, but respected my mom's religions and beliefs and sat there quietly and prayed for to end quickly. No offense to your religion sorry. Hope it works out for you.

Answer 6

Hi!
I married a Presbyterian in 1985. As you can see by my name, we have 7 children.

Did the difference in faith cause problems? Not at first. I went to Mass on Saturday, then to his church with his parents on Sunday.

eventually, I got tired of going twice, but we HAD to go with his parents....so I fell away from the Church.

When did it change? When we had kids. Our first was baptised in his church, becuase hi father was an elder and baptised her....that was cool.

But when #2 and #3 came, I insisted we go to a Catholic Church. #4 I was going through MAJOR post partum depression, he was batised in my living room byt the non denominal minister who lived across the street from us- She was also my older kids' sitter when I worked.

Then we moved....far away from familywhile very pregnant with #5. Despite a methodist church in sight of the house, I wanted a Catholic Church- I was PULLED to one. Baby #5 was baptised there. Our oldest was ready to satrt religious ed...I offered to 'help'....and Sister Johnene talked me into teaching 6th grade!

Then she talked my husband into converting! I was pregnant with #6 at the Easter vigil he came into the Church. he ONLY converted 'so we could all go to church together.' I didn't want him to, because even though I had been away, my Catholic faith did mean a lot to me.


Grace has a wya of working....he believes now. Not scott hahn, mind you. But he goes to church....most of the time.

Meanwhile, we had #7 eight years ago...I have gone from teaching to running religious ed at another parish.

There was obviously a LOT more. And the fact that I believe what the Church teaches has caused problems along the way.

MY BEST ADVICE IS: Even if your fiance is not interested in converting, have him go to RCIA. Go with him. You can use the classes to start discussions about how you view faith. There is really no other way to do it and truly be on the same page as far as religion goes. If you aren't, you are asking for trouble before your marriage even begins! Religion, money and kids....you MUST agree on all three before you take your vows.

Answer 7

sadly, mixed marriages have alot of barriers. It doesnt mean they CANT work. It just will be more of a hassle. How important is it for YOU to have your husband be of the same faith? Will you want him to beleive as you do. And there ARE differences between catholicism and protestentism.
Will you be willing to go to both services on sunday? THat could be a start. Try going to BOTH services every sunday for a month and see what kind of conversations you and your boyfriend have in the car ride home!
Best of luck,

Answer 8

I'm a Protestant who absolutely loves my Catholic friends. For a spouse, however, we'd clash on some pretty important issues. I wouldn't recommend it for marriage but most certainly for most other types of relationships.

Answer 9

If both respect each others views, it will work out fine. The largest conflict will come around how to raise children. As you know, a Catholic doctrine requires you to raise your children Catholic. Knowing up front how he feels about this, as well as examining your commitment to this up front, will be a good barometer of your success.

Answer 10

I have a catholic/nothing marriage & we do just fine. I go to mass & he doesn't.