How do you discipline a 3 year old?

Question

I don't want to hit. I seem to be yelling at the top of my lungs. Negotiating is not working. Talking it out is not working. I'm doing something wrong. Help

Answer 1

Don't use time outs. They only cause resentment and are shaming to a child. Time outs are a way for you to control your child but not a way for a child to learn self-control. Stop yelling and negotiating as well. You do not want to punish your child, you want to discipline them.

Try and use logical consequences whenever possible. Taking away a toy or privileges when your child misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if your child throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If your child makes a mess, they clean it. If your child breaks a toy, it goes in the trash. If your child damages something in the home, money comes out of their piggy bank or he earns money doing things around the house to pay for the damages. Let the type of discipline fit the crime.

Another technique you can try when your child is misbehaving is this. As soon as he or she misbehaves, get down to their level and say "I don't like when you (explain what and why)." Take them gently by the hand and put them in a spot in your home (his/her room, the couch.) Say "When you're ready to (listen, stop, behave) then you can come back with me." This is not a time out because you are not giving a time limit (you controlling your child). Your child returns when they are ready to control themselves. You may have to take your child back to the spot a few times before they get the message. Thank him/her when he/she behaves. Keep it up!

Find ways to help your child learn to express emotions. Say things like "I can tell that you are (upset, angry, mad, hurt, frustrated). What can we do about that?"

Notice when your child is not misbehaving. Say things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on that picture!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 2

a spank on the butt with a wooden spoon is not too hard of a punishment for a three year old. use it as last resort, but USE IT. with my little girl, if the 1 2 3 method has not worked, i simply get the spoon and do the whole "panties down over the knee routine". eventhough i give her only one slap, i make it a hard and a LOUD one which combined with the humiliation really makes her think twice! then i let her cry and protest and do her little dance around the kitchen, at which point she gets asked what it is she'd done wrong so she KNOWS and knows how to avoid the over the knee situation in the future.

at 3 years old they are easily impressed so you have that going for you... good luck!

Answer 3

Repetition!!!! The same punishment for the same wrongdoing. Even if it means the child goes to the corner 15 times a day. Consistency is key. Don't let it slide because you don't want to deal with it or because your tired of fighting it. Keep at it, it may take a month but it does work. Find a punishment you feel comfortable with; time out, sitting in bed, spanking, taking a toy. Whatever, just chose a punishment that is appropriate for the age of the child and the feelings of the parents, implement the punishment and stick to it!

Answer 4

Time out. Get a single little chair, put it facing a corner or in a quiet place, away from the TV/toys/etc. Have your child sit in the chair when he misbehaves. You may have to sit with him there at first to keep him there until he gets the idea that it's not an option for him. Explain while he sits why he is there - or better yet, have him tell you why he's there so that he takes ownership of the behavior. Always make it the same chair, in the same place.

Answer 5

Discipline yourself. You're creating this situation by having unreasonable expectations. What on earth is there to yell about? What could you possibly be talking and negotiating about? Just be a parent. Set some limits and be consistent.

They're not mini adults, they are children. They don't think like we do.

Never hit. That's abuse.

Answer 6

I usually will make my 3 year old sit in time out. It works better than yelling at her because she loves to be up playing, you could set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes and don't let them up until it goes off. You will need to be firm and strict with this. Hope it helps.
Amy

Answer 7

I recommend reading Children: The Challenge by Rudolf Dreikurs. No book will discipline a three year old for you, but this at least gives you a good start.

Answer 8

First thing I did when I was in your place was quit yelling. The little darlings win when you yell, they are learning to push your buttons, and you let them know when they have succeeded when you yell. Time out is always good, but make sure you enforce it every time. Early bedtime was a lifesaver for me somedays. The trick here is to start pushing their buttons instead of having yours pushed. Once you regain control of yourself, you will regain control of your child. I wish you the very best of luck, you are at the happiest and most frustrating part of life...but never forget it is the happiest.

Answer 9

You cannot negotiate with a 3 year old. You must spank them when they do something wrong. Then they will associate the spanking with the wrongdoing and not do it anymore. If you love them, you will discipline them.

Hope this helps.

Answer 10

give your child "time outs." Don't give in. Keep putting him/her in a special spot, known as the "time out" spot, where they must sit for a period of time (usually short...3-5 minutes). Let them know that their behavior is unacceptable, and this is what will happen when they do the wrong thing. You must be firm and consistent. Don't forget to constantly reward him/her for their positive behavior. Make a big deal out if it when he/she does something good (stickers, etc.) Good luck!