Need some advice on this matter. When my little girl was younger, we had a great relationship...now that she's 15, it seems she could care less about mother/daugher relationship...it bothers me because...she's lying and hiding things from me; when at one point... she was very open and honest...how to build back a better relationship?
2006-06-13 14:14:50 · 8 answers · asked by Frugal Fannie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Try talking to her and hang out sometimes! Go to the theatres, shop, whatever! And remember to dig into her side of the story. Try adapting to her "styles" as in speech and dress. When you shop for clothes, don't go looking for old fashioned stuff (if you do, that is) but go to where she always go. Give her space, as well. If she refuses to tell you something, don't nag her. Just wait and treat her kindly, ignore the fact she's lying.... get comfortable with her. If she doesn't mind, try to garden and do some of the hobbies you like to do. Remember, teen age goes away after awhile. Good luck!
2006-06-13 14:20:08 · answer #1 · answered by princess_Coconuts 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any relationship requires time and for both to be willing to commit. instead of being mad because she lied to you, take the time to understand why she lied to you in the first place.
you might need to give her more space, as a girl gets older she might not want to be smothered by her mother.... and maybe with that give her more freedom and more of an oppertunity to express herself and more likely open up to you. She won't go to you with her problems if you get upset with her for something that she says... especially if you punish her. One day she'll understand that you are only trying to help her, but for now she sees you as being someone that gets in the way of the fun things that she wants to do, someone that will reprimand her for what she has done wrong.
Sometimes it's hard to open up to people, even if that person may be your own mother.
I would suggest maybe giving her a little bit more space, and possibly a few more freedoms, but also, if you gave her more responsibilites, she may also open up. She'll feel like you aren't treating her like a little girl, and that you see her as a young, independent women, or at least the potential that she has.
She doesn't want to be treated like a baby, and while you might always think of her as your baby, she is still growing up.
2006-06-13 14:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by Punk_Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a painful time for mothers when their children start pulling away. Nothing you can do but be there for her when she needs or wants you. The way I handled my daughters, if they told me the truth there was no punishment, if they wanted to take a gamble that I wouldn't find out the truth and yet I did then I made sure the punishment fit the deed. I'm not sure if I just got lucky or if my technique worked. Best Wishes to You!!
2006-06-13 14:24:30 · answer #3 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Typical of teenagers to retract from their parents.
They are trying to find their identity and who they are.
They don't want to rely on their parents for everything.
They want to explore the world and learn for themselves.
So really...there's no simple answer!
Honesty is a good thing!
Just ask her what she's thinking about anything ~ if the doesn't work, try and buddy up with her a bit, but don't crowd her. She needs her space.
Love her!
Teenagers need to know they are loved, even if they don't think it's "cool" or it's embarrassing!
Connect!
Connect on a personal level ~ educate her on certain life lessons.
If there's something she's going through, try and identify with her and let her know you went through the same thing, whether it's maturing physically, or your past love interests in high school.
Just be a part of her life! That's the best answer I can give you!
Good Luck!
2006-06-13 14:22:52 · answer #4 · answered by columpro25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its the age where she's finding out who she is and is fighting for more independence. I was like that at fifteen, as were my two younger sisters - we all put many a grey hair on her head, but we're all very close with her again.
One thing I wished my mother would have done differently when I was rebelling - the harder she tried to remain close to me, the more I pulled away. At the time, I didnt see it as her trying to maintain a mother/daughter relationship, I saw it as her trying to control me.
Try compromise. (i.e - her curfew is at 9 but she wants to stay out till 11 - meet at the middle and let her out till 10.) Little things like this really help - your showing her that you trust her by bending the rules a little, and she's happy too because you're allowing her to do her own things.
2006-06-13 14:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by Too Silly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just turned 13, and i see your point of veiw, and your daughters, do something with her, take her shopping, go get coffee, somthing like that. i know from experience that lying and hidding things, is because your too imbarested to talk about it with your mother/father, but your friends are great to talk about whatever it is, even if its not what they've been through. she will soon realize how important a mother/daughter relationship is. don't worry, yet.
2006-06-13 14:26:21 · answer #6 · answered by bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend lot of time with her and find out what she like then try to do things with her that she like.
2006-06-13 14:40:27 · answer #7 · answered by Happy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my realtionship with my mom was also good before, but know its not that great this is because she asks me too many questions that sometimes makes me think she dont trust in me, that makes me angry beacuse i dont give her no reason and makes me angry try talking to her but dont pressure her that, can get annoying. good luck!
2006-06-13 14:29:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anaira9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋