Is it selfish of a mom?

Question

I realize that sometimes babies just naturally won't breastfeed. Are the mothers who decide not to breastfeed without even trying it or trying it but giving up quickly selfish? I think that it is extremely selfish of them since breastmilk is the best thing for their baby. What do you think? Selfish or not to not breastfeed or give up on it?

Isn't it true though that babies who are breastfed are smarter and healthier when they grow up? Also babies who are breastfed are less likely to have allergies when they are older. So wouldn't it be selfish if a mom (even though it's hard in the beginning) to give up breastfeeding or not do it at all just because she's uncomfortable?

Answer 1

Why is it that moms who choose to bottle feed their children can appreciate both sides of the debate, but breastfeeding moms always attack those who don't breastfeed? It's not selfish to bottle feed your children, the point is that they are eating. It's not easy for some people, and some people don't like the idea of it, some want the dads to be more involved with feeding times, there are many many reasons and to point the finger and call someone selfish for a personal choice they have made is just wrong. My daughter was not breastfed, but it was not for lack of trying. I wanted to breastfeed but it just wasn't going to happen, for whatever reason, I still don't know what else I could have done to make it work. It's hard when things don't work out the way you want them to and for people like you to throw it back in people's faces is completely rude, self righteous and uncalled for. You raise your child your way and I'll raise my child mine. And I'm pretty sure if we put our children to the test, they would both feel equally loved and supported by us their mothers. I'm not even going to get into the comment about intelligence, that's ridiculous!

Answer 2

I did not breastfeed my three sons b/c I had problems. I tried everything w/ my oldest son and ended up getting a breast infection that was incredibly painful. I was crying all day over it. I finally had to give up trying, much to my husband's pleasure. A happy and content mom was better for my baby than one miserabl trying to pump milk out , with no luck. My children are 9,6,3 and none have allergies. My sister in law breast fed her 3 sons and they do not have allergies and have done well in school--they are all high school/college age. Do I attribute the intelligence to breastmilk? No. They had incredibly wonderful parents, one of whom was a former teacher. If you can breastfeed--its the best, no doubt. If you can't, you are not a selfish mom. My mother did not breastfeed and I doubt her mother did either. I think it is personal, between a mother, child and doctor. There are so many other things that are more important in a child's life when you look at the big picture.

Answer 3

I think there are VERY FEW mothers who choose not to breastfeed just for personal reasons.

However, with regard to those who do, I say go for it! You may not know it, but in the 60's, it was extremely unpopular to breastfeed. Therefore, there is essentially a whole generation of people who only ever had formula...They all grew up just fine, and so will those other babies on formula.

I think it's a personal decision, involving mother and child, that I would never apply a label of "selfish" to, regardless of what the decision was.

Answer 4

As far as your additional details, yes, studies have shown that children who are breastfed get sick less in the first years of life and even have higher IQs than babies who aren't breastfed.

I think it is selfish. If you make the decision to become a parent, that means that you are giving up some of your selfish single person behaviors. Anyone who would not even attempt to try and give their child the best possible care and attention because it is not in their best interests, is selfish.

Answer 5

I Think Yes Its Selfish You Right,,!!
The Best Milk For The Baby Its Breastfeed..

Answer 6

I think that making sure the baby gets enough milk has to be the top priority in considering which is best.

Also expressing the early milk and colostrum to give to the baby does help their immune system.

and no i cant agree with you that not breastfeeding is selfish - and for ladies who are unable to give up work then bottle-feeding really is the only alternative.

selfishness is not meeting the babies needs (or ensuring their needs get met) at all - not choosing to bottle-feed rather than breastfeed

Answer 7

I think it's very selfish, yes. And lazy. I would have given my left arm to breastfeed. I tried with both of my pregnancies, but wasn't producing enough milk, no matter what I or my doctor did, so I resorted to formula feeding. Both of my boys are healthy and happy, but I was so completely guilty after I switched to formula. This is something I SHOULD BE able to do, but I CAN'T. This is what breasts are for...they're not for having implants and showing off in a teeny weeny bikini at your local beach. THey're not playthings for your husband. They're for nourishing your child(ren) during infancy, and I couldn't do it. I don't know why some women don't even try. I think because they're scared they'll go "saggy" if they breast feed. Selfishness. Pure selfishness. I look at saggy boobs the same way as I look at my c-section scar...they're battle scars, and I'm proud of them!

Answer 8

I am due in 2.5 weeks and, from the beginning, decided that I was not going to breastfeed. There are many reasons why people choose to either do so or not - many of them personal. However, I do not feel that my decision, or that of others, is in any way selfish.

I was a formula fed child myself and (regarding future adjustments) I consider myself to be quite ahead of the game - I graduated Magna *** Laude with two degrees in four years (Business and the Arts), earned my MFA, and am fairly successful in my career. I am also a member of Mensa, having tested in the top 2% with regard to my IQ.

I would (and will) do anything that will be beneficial to my child - which includes (and has included) researching the best in feeding options.

Answer 9

No. Breastfeeding may not be the best option for everyone. In some cases the baby may have a condition that prevents breastfeeding. In other cases it may be the mom. If the mother is HIV positive or undergoing therapeutic radioactive procedures breastfeeding is contraindicated. In other cases, breastfeeding may not be practical for the mother. There may conflicts caused by her career that make breastfeeding difficult. There are many infants who rely on commercial formula for nutrition that grow up strong and healthy. Each mother makes the decisions that she feels is best for her infant. The issue of breastfeeding versus the use of formula is simply a decision that varies among mothers.

Answer 10

I think there is an extreme lack of knowledge and support, especially in the US, for breastfeeding moms. So many of them give up easily because formula is so widely available and accepted. I would never judge a mother for deciding what is best for her baby. Every mom and baby and relationship is different. I am an advocate of breastfeeding and would gladly support and educate any mother who might be struggling with that decision. It's a small sacrifice for the health of your child.