I need feedback on my HS graduation speech!?

Question

It has to be around 1 minute long and address the parents... this is what I have so far- suggestions anyone? I think it's a little serious... any humor to add?

Parents, thank you for coming and thanks for the support over the years. Today is the day that we move on, the day we begin to make out own decisions regarding our futures. It is a big step forward in our lives and we invite you to take it with us. We encourage you to try something new, and continue moving forward, as we are. Change your daily routine, explore new interests, get involved in your community- I guarantee you will benefit from the experience. Check out the Cabrillo Course Catalog, and if something interests you- take it! You’re not too old and you won’t be the only person there that’s not in college. You’ll make new friends and gain a sense of accomplishment. If you don’t like it, you can leave. You have the power. Keep learning, not only that, take charge of your education. You were the ones the dragged us out of

to continue:
You were the ones the dragged us out of bed and said “Yes, you have to go to school today.” when we were begging to stay home. And with your help, here we are as graduating seniors with something to celebrate. Regardless of our future plans, this is not the end of our education. It is not the end of yours.

Other speakers are addressing the students, siblings and teachers.

Answer 1

With respect, this is my opinion...
It sounds a little bit like a pep talk for the parents. Like they aren't going to have a clue what to do with their lives now that you are graduating from High School. It comes off as condescending, which is totally not your place. Your parents have plenty of experience and probably have plans for their lives that you have no idea about. For many of them, there are more kids that are not yet graduating so this is not quite the end of their high school experience.
I think you should spend more time showing your appreciation for all they've done and show them an interest in exploring a new phase of your relationship with them, as adults.
Try to see your life from their eyes...They had a life of their own and chose to include you in it. In doing so, they suddenly became responsible for making everything in your life happen; all the dragging out of bed, all the getting homework done, all the sports and trips and sleepovers...all to get you to this point in your life where you are finally ready and able to take control of things for yourself.
I would recommend opening with a laugh if you can, and then just be thoughful and humble and respectful. Every parent there, no matter how different they are individually, share the common feeling of pride in their graduate. They worked hard to get you there, thank them well and you'll close with tears.

Answer 2

Don't make it sound so much like HS was something parents dragged you out of bed to go to. Talk about the maturity from your freshman year to your senior year. Also, make it sound very professional, you are addressing people of all ages and educational status. This is HUGE and with all eyes on YOU, you need to be as adult as you can. Reference milestones teens reach while maturing and personalize it as much as you can without going overboard. The first half of the speech sounds grown up and even reflective, don't ruin it by "teen talk", this isn't the time or the place. You will be glad you did. Also, practice in front of a large mirror with a stop watch and some "objective" ears in the room. Be still, serious and don't fidget. You will be GREAT! Good Luck!

Answer 3

As a HS speech it seems that your focus is more on the parents future education than giving the class the pep speach about their future education. Then at the end your connection to their education and helping you get yours does not quite connect. You have talent in speech and could write a much better one. I would again thank the parents on their support, but focus on the classes future education. Maybe connected with the gratitude of the support of the parents that you could not do it with you them...and maybe they could now finish the rest of their dreams. Not all parents want to go to collage, but they still have dreams. You also stated the cabrillo course catalog as if everyone would know what your talking about....make sure you talking on their levels of understanding. Good luck. You are on your way to a good start.

Answer 4

You have a nice start to your speech and one that offers parents a challenge for their own lives. While the challenge is valid, I would think about offering a little more detail into the support parents offer their children and what it means to them. Some may already be highly educated, with interests established, so challenging them that way won't be as necessary. But ALL parents have sacrificed over the years (some more than others, of course) and ALL parents are watching their babies go off into the grown up world (I know you don't see yourself as a baby, but parents sure do- you will always be your parents baby). I would think about focusing on what applies to all (or most) parents a bit more.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I think you are headed in the right direction. Perhaps if you referenced the fact that your parents encouraged you to try new things, helped you change your daily routine from kids at home to kids at school, they would understand that all of you can grow with this new change in all of your lives. The step from High School to College is a big step for you and it is a big step for parents. The fact that you are drawing a parallel is wonderful and will make your parents feel great about the way you were brought and give them the reinforcement they want to hear.
It is difficult for most of us parents to admit we could be old so I would suggest you leave that phrase out or perhaps say we welcome your life experience in the college setting and still need you to guide us.
Also I would leave out, if you don't like it you can leave sounds too much of a cop out to me.
(I am currently teaching a course in Comedy Improvisation to a class of 70-90 year olds and they are loving it, and I tell them to come each week and they show up even if they are scared.)

Answer 6

Okay first of all not really sure where you are headed. You are addressing the audience as if they are failures. I would try going with the angle that you started. We are here today because of your inspiration, you inspired us to become better people. You have all done a wonderful job at leading us on a road to success. But we will still need your guidance always. We have started the journey of life with you and we are only to a part in the map that gives us many directions to go. something like that. Really thank the parents for their help and support through the tough times in school. Hope this helps.

Answer 7

I think its good, but I think you should have someone look at the middle where you give examples about them going back to school getting involved. I like the statement its a big step and we invite you to take it with us. You should develop that statement more and give examples off that line. Inviting parents to take classes is good, but getting involved in their community is something totally different. I think you should focus on how parents that have senior that are going to college should be there for their child each time they decide to change a major or choose a new career. Encourage parents to think back to their college and youth days and remember how it felt to be in control of their own destiny. To have the world at their fingertips. That's what high school seniors feel like and parents should remember that. They should help their child and stand by them no matter what path their student takes. focus on these ides. I hope I helped. If you need more assistance email me.

Answer 8

Sounds good, but, I would take out the "You’re not too old and you won’t be the only person there that’s not in college"...parents don't want to hear that stuff..ha ha
Just write it from your heart and you will do great!

Answer 9

I believe young people right now need to be reminded not about college and what they may learn or gain from higher education, being a youngster myself, I believe that someone needs to remind us that we are not the future, that we are actually the present, and what we do now as a generation will set us apart from the previous ones, is not about change, is about expressing ourselves and our own believes, whichever they are, in hope that with dialog and debate we could truly grow as people, and reassure that your own experiences and mistakes will help you find out who you are, and that precious knowledge is something no college will be able to teach you, no matter how expensive it is.

Sure would've like someone told me that in my graduation.

Hope I helped and good luck.

Answer 10

I like the idea of urging parents to continue their education. However, your opening is full of tired cliches. Humor is tricky, so be careful. You don't want to offend anyone. Maybe you could talk about today's challenges with new technology as part ot your argument for adult ed.