She is always back talking and has horrible attitude. her school work is not always done and is failing her classes. have taken privlages away and that dosnt work either she then becomes more definte What can I do.
From: Very stressed out father
2006-06-13 12:02:31 · 15 answers · asked by rich r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is just an idea as I have not had to deal with that with my own kids, not because I am any kind of super parent but because I got lucky! Anyway, maybe what you could do is take a moment when she is not in trouble and ask her to sit down and talk with you. Explain to her (without accusing her) that your relationship seems to be on a down turn. Then ask her if there is anything wrong at school or at home that you could help her with. If she says nothing or becomes defensive tell her that you are not trying to make her feel bad but that you want to be a good dad and that you trust her judgement enough to speak to her like a grown up. That might just shock her enough to consider the conversation.
Then once you get her to listen, have the both of you come up with a system of etiquette, discipline, and reward that you both agree to abide by. That way she knows what you expect of her, what her punishment will be if she fails, AND what she could gain by working for it. Then STICK TO IT. If you back down at all or fail to follow the rules you set down, your inconsistency will be your downfall.
Good luck friend =)
2006-06-13 12:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by MJ H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nip it in the bud now dad, cause a back-talking, defiant 12 year old will be a hellacious 16 year old. Treat her the way she's acting. If she back talks, make her go sit in the corner, it's age appropriate for a disrespectful mouth. She'll learn quick, if she doesn't want to be treated like a 5 year old, she won't act like one.
As far as her school work, if your school has the online service where you can check her assignments and grades, use it. Get in touch with her teachers, exchange emails and become the ominous force she doesn't expect you to be.
2006-06-13 12:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by kathy059 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BE CALM! Acting as if she knows all and horrible attitude is usually anger and feelings of insecurity because of home life or perhaps situations in school. This is what I think as a Mom.
Seek guidance through a school counselor or perhaps there is hotline to ask.
Be firm. Be consistant. Be Fair. Yelling doesn't work.
Dad, love and encourage her. Stop your negative attitude and be positive. Two negatives equal nothing. Good luck.
2006-06-13 12:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by karen in cypress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard this is. Stick to your guns. Being consistent with your punishments, shows that you won't let her get away with anything. Remember all the cuss words, violent acts to your furniture, walls, you, and even to herself, is like a big two year old throwing a tantrum, but now they know what is getting to you the most. Also check with her teacher. You might find out what is going on at school. Is she the school 'hottie', or is she being picked on?
Best advice......you are going to be ok. A girl at the onset of puberty, is a powerful creature, Daddy. Just keep in mind, you earned your place in life, and she better learn to step up and truly earn hers.
2006-06-13 12:15:47 · answer #4 · answered by MOI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there; it's typical. Just don't give up and ignore, keep tabs and communication going. Show love, try to not get trapped in the shouting war. Stand your ground, you're being tested! My son put me through hell at that age too. He is 22 now. We converse like 2 adults now. He turned out ok! Keep telling them that you love them and are there for them. Do things together; sometimes the crap is done for attention, even if it is to be yelled at, it is still attention. Good luck.
2006-06-13 12:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by crimsongal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to set clear limits and then enforce them. Don't wait. Do it now. You also need to remind your daughter how much you love her. Set high standards. Clearly communicate exactly what those standards are and what will happen if they are not met. Then consistently follow through.
Kids, even 12-year-old kids, do much better under clearly defined limits. It will be tough, for sure, but better to do it now than later.
2006-06-13 12:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by tommyllew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have tried taking her for a day out and actually talking to her, she may be getting bullied or worse ?? Always reward any positive behaviour and set achievable targets...failing that theres always bootcamp.
2006-06-13 12:08:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a job for t.v show The Nanny.
Write in. Maybe she'll come over and help you out. : )
2006-06-13 12:22:53 · answer #8 · answered by jillian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all kids go through this I know I did. I don't really think there is anything that can be done just let it fade away
2006-06-13 12:06:21 · answer #9 · answered by ~Ms Eli~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember when you was a girl and try to understand but the most important thing love her its the principal think. we never forget the love of our parents
2006-06-13 12:59:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋