How do you obtain patience by dealing with people in family?

Question

I have had to learn in life that I am not going to like everyone and in all fainess not everyone is going to like me.

One of my close relatives is getting married and I want her to enjoy this season in her life. I am going to be the matron of honor.

However the mother is stressing out over the shower that we are giving and being a pain to deal with. When she calls me everything is about the shower this and the shower that and who is coming and there is no room for other discussion.

The LAST thing I would ever want to do is yell at her, be mean to her, be sharp with her, tell her off, be curt or rude to her, because she is senstive.

But in all fairness I know to respect my elders which I do, but this person is really working my nerves, she constantly needs things repeated after I tell her over and over slowly and clearly.

Any GODLY suggestions?

The person I am referring to is my sister getting married and the person I am having a time with is my mom.

Answer 1

First take a deep breath. Keep your approach calm and assertive. Try to calm her down. Ask her to write down the things you've told her repeatedly (or you write them down and send them to her).
Don't necessarily answer her questions the second she asks them. If you need a few seconds to remind yourself to be calm and assertive, by all means take the time, rather than being rude or abrupt with her. This too shall pass....

Answer 2

If you keep dealing with it in the moment, you're likely to lose your temper at some time. It might be wiser to take the "unavailable approach". Let the answering machine answer all of your calls. Listen to your mom's questions when you are calm enough to deal with it. And when you're calm, call her back. You'll have more patience to give her the answers she needs or wants to hear.

If she gets offended that you're not answering your phone, tell her that you wanted to talk when you knew you wouldn't be busy and would be able to give her your full, undivided attention. It might help her understand that you still care about her.

Another idea is to see if there is someone else who can take care of the major details for the bridal shower. Of course, I realize this might not work.

If she's still annoying you, you might have to tell her that her questions are riding your nerves. If you don't think you can say it in a good way, try writing it (be sure to also mention all her wonderful strengths and the love you have for her, to make the blow softer). If you don't think writing would work, get a friend that you and mom both trust to help mediate the conversation.