'Albert,' she says, 'Please be careful when you're driving back. I just heard on the radio that there's some maniac on the M1 motorway. He's driving the wrong way!'
'Its not just one,' Albert replies, 'There's f*cking hundreds of them!!'
Right folks, theres one to get the ball rolling. Lets hear some jokes!
2006-06-13 11:07:00 · 11 answers · asked by Sit tight 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
My boyfriends favourite joke is:
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead!
He always laughs...... I dont!!
2006-06-13 11:29:32 · answer #1 · answered by carolyn s 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
God is up in heaven was wiping his brow, it was getting really hot and the devil below was turning up the heat. He beckoned to St. Peter to get the devil to turn down the heat. St. Peter only succeeded in making the devil smile, 'If God is not happy with the heat, then I am going to turn it up higher' smirked the devil.
St. Peter would approach the devil again with a more serious tone to convince him to turn down the heat and not only did he fail but the devil made the heat so high it was hard to bear.
'There's nothing else for it' said God, 'Tell him I am getting a lawyer'
The devil fell about the place laughing and answered, 'God is going to find it very difficult to find a lawyer........... they are all down here with me'
2006-06-13 11:18:26 · answer #2 · answered by Sam k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde was standing in front of a coke machine
she put in 50 cents and a coke came out. She set
it on top of the coke machine. Put in 50 more
cents pushed the button and another coke came
out.
She kept doing this untill a guy standing behind
her said, " Excuse me, can I get my coke and then
you can go back to whatever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Like duh not
when I am winning!! "
2006-06-17 23:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by i'm_a_goodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best joke ever:
I was homeless the other week and I didn't want anyone to know,
so I slept outside of a Ticketmaster.
2006-06-13 11:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by god1oak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
2006-06-15 08:00:54 · answer #5 · answered by akiastatz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me: Doctor, doctor, I have 5 pee-pees.
Doc: How do your pants fit?
Me: Like a glove!
2006-06-13 11:11:00 · answer #6 · answered by DelBoy1297 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who invented king arthur's round table?
Sir Cumfrence!!!
2006-06-13 11:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by rita c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it... oh oh ok, the old man is driving the wrong way... ok ok.
2006-06-13 11:13:01 · answer #8 · answered by onetomgreenshowfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats green and red and goes 80 mph........kermit in a blender.boom boom
2006-06-13 14:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by gamekeeper592 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats real good
2006-06-13 12:19:10 · answer #10 · answered by km 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋