What can my son do about a "rock thrower" on the playground at recess?

Question

My son is 5 and at recess he has a couple buddies (all 5 yr olds) whom all play with sand under the slide. There is a boy who my son says likes to go get rocks from under the swings and throw at them while they are trying to play. This has happened for a week now. He says he has gone to the teacher about this and she doesn't say or do anything. Yesterday my son came home with a bruise and scrape on his nose that he said was from a rock hitting him in the face so I talked to his teacher the next morning and asked her what she is planning on doing about the other boy. She replied that they (the teachers) are not allowed to tell the kids "no" or "stop", as the local child protective services instructed during a school meeting with teachers and principle. They implied that this hinders a child's creative growth and ways to express him/herself. I just could not believe it. They have taken so much power to discipline away from the teachers and then some parents don't discipline.

Answer 1

I hate to even recommend this, but it seems as if things may be desperate...

File suit on the school district, for not providing a safe place for your kid to play. Perhaps list the rock-thrower's parents as co-defendants.

I'm not a fan of litigation, but this might be what's needed in order to get their attention.

Answer 2

Talk to the principal or the school district if the teacher will not do anything. I am a teacher, and if this happened while I was on yard duty, the student would be sent to the office. If it happened, again, the consequences would be more severe. I know that our principal would talk to the parents and keep the rock thrower in the office during recess if the behavior didn't change. And if the school doesn't do anything, go after the district. They should be concerned about their liability, even if they don't care about the safety of children. You could also write a letter to the editor of the local paper to inform others of what goes on.

Answer 3

I am a teacher. You need to call the principal. You have followed the chain of command. You talked to the teacher, you got no where. If you get no where with the principal tell them you will go to the school board. The system is supposed to protect your child not the bully. The school HAS TO provide a SAFE learning environment for your child...that includes recess. That rock thrower needs to be stopped before someone loses an eye. As a teacher, I say go to the principal. As a mother I say tell your kid to kick his butt and let that rock thrower bully someone else.

Answer 4

I think your teacher is not doing her job. Thats the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. Listen, most schools have a NO BULLYING policy. My son (9 yr old) said some girl (his class) tried to kick him in the family jewels and I went to the school and told the Principal (whom I am friendly with) that if this situation wasn't Halted this minute, I would call the police and report harassment and battery on this child. The school reacted appropriately and stopped the problem. My son was never bothered by this girl again.

Answer 5

That's crazy. You're teacher is feeding you a load of you know what. Teachers are allowed to instruct or refrain kids from endangering other kids, and I would say rock throwing comes under that category. Since you have approached the teacher, take it to the principle. No school I've ever heard of allowed kids to express their creativity at the risk of safety.

Answer 6

My son had the same problem with a boy who was repeatedly hitting him at recess. His teacher didn't do anything about it, because she said that she had no business with what was going on outside of the classroom. The teachers/ assistants who were outside just ignored my son's complaint also. I then went to the school's counselor and asked for a meeting with her, my son's teacher and the principal. The meeting was pretty surreal. I came prepared with my husband and a written complaint. They gave us the feeling that we were trying to badmouth the child, who was bullying my son. In fact they made my son look like he was being a sissy. The counselor started pulling him out of the class for thirty minutes every two days to see if he was ok, instead of counseling the bully. Afterall my son was having night mares, because of the bully's behavior. We felt that this school was not doing anything for the one being harmed. About a week after the meeting we pulled my son out of that public school, and transfered my son to a private school.The nightmares stopped instantly. His new teacher was absolutely awesome! She saved my son's first school year (Kindergarten) experience. This awesome lady teacher even had my son sing solo at the Kindergarten graduation.
I think you should consider finding a better school, too. I wish you and your son all the best.

Answer 7

I'm not an expert, but if you want this changed, first I would take a picture of your son's injuies and then ask to talk to the child protective services. Show the people who advised the teachers what is happening when they take away the ability to discipline poorly-behaved kids.

You have people in your local area who are setting policies that are negatively affecting all children, and they need to understand the consequences of their "new child rearing theory."

Answer 8

If there is no longer discipline by teachers or other faculty then I would teach your son how to throw a punch. Then explain to your son that he needs to look out for number one because the people he trusts the most may not step up for him. Then go watch a Jet Li movie together.

Answer 9

the power of video can be your best friend.
take a video of the kids and give copy of it to school and to the parents of the child and if that does not stop, let the "child protective services" see the tape of the "bully" and see what they say.
as my 5 yr old says
" take a hand, make a stand, stop being a bully NOW!" she learned that in school
"ma gruff the dog."
hope it works and it lets the teachers and parents of the bully really see what "bully" is doing to other children and maybe it can stop before it gets out of control.
i always told my son never start a fight but never to back down to one and to stand on your own two feet and defend yourself. and now he is 21 and will not start a fight he will try and talk first and get them to see what they are doing is wrong.

Answer 10

Go visit your son's school while he is at recess and go up to the kid yourself and tell him to quit it or he's gonna be in big trouble. The teacher may not be able to tell the kids no or stop, but who says you can't as a concerned parent? Then the kid will go home and tell his parents you yelled at him, but thats good because they'll probably call you at home or something and then you can tell them they need to teach their son that it's not okay to throw rocks (or anything for that matter).

Answer 11

you need to go higher then that teacher, either to the principle or the child protective services. Chances are your child is not the only victim. Sadly teachers are that powerless all over the country. Bush's new no child left behind is dragging down everyone else as well.