why cant my ten and 11 year old listen to me there wild what can i do?

Question

why dont they listen to me?

Answer 1

Who is older you or the kids?

Answer 2

First off: I just watched a show last night on Super Nanny, in which was located in England, UK. There was an eight or nine year old, in which didn't listen to her mother, nor father. She hit the other children and was out-of-control. Some parents, first off, have to be the role model. I cannot tell you why, they aren't listening to you. First off: You're the role model. Do you yell or scream at your kids? Most likely, if you have an anger problem, then your kids, will follow, what you do, most likely, but not always. If you're yelling or screaming; trying to get their attention, then most likely, when they want you to listen, they will be screaming and yelling, and throwing a fit. If you're in a calm state - and they aren't listening, then I'd recommend, seeking professional help, depending how bad the case is. Is the child not understanding what's expected of him/her? Are you clear on your expectations? e.g. when a task needs to be completed, what needs to completed, what will happen (if not completed), etc. Does the child understand you, and still chooses, not to obey? Does your child have a disability, in which may be preventing them from understanding you? Make sure you give reinforcers too, so, the child will most likely listen. For example: If you have good behavior, we will go skating on Friday or rent a movie, etc. Find things your children enjoy. If your child is depressed or has Bipolar Disorder (from experience, I have Bipolar), then it could be limiting your child, from feeling motivated or completed a task, when s/he is depressed or having a mood swing. You really have to dig deep and find out:

a.) why the child isn't behaving
then.. b.) consequences.

You don't assume things...if you just assume that your child is rebeling - and you're wrong, then it can cause more conflicts, e.g. your child gets depressed, from you, misunderstanding them. If you need anymore assistance or help, please feel free to Instant Message me on AIM or Yahoo. AIM: [e-mail] or [e-mail].

Until then.. best wishes,

Michelle

Answer 3

Well you must first rmember that you must be a parent, a roll model, and a friend all at the same time, Talk to your children like you would like them to speak to you, however you must not throw out IDLE threats, when you speak they should know you mean business. If your children dont take you or your words serious then its a problem that you have develope throughout the years of them growing up. not following through, no cause and effects. when you take away freedom, & privilages, then you get to their brains. You can do this without causing tennager anger. Do the same when they ask for their fav clothing to be washed over and over and then 2 days later ask where it is...you simply say im sorry i must not of heard you. i wasnt listening to you did you want your shirt washed for today. oh well sorry. hey mom can you take me shopping can i have money.....oh im sorry i didnt hear you and didnt get to the bank in time I dont have money for that cd or shopping. i must not have been listening to you when you were asking for money because you werent listening to me when i asked you to...... put the ball back into their court. It will work. if you do this game long enough. one time wont work. maybe each time they ask for a few weeks will.

Answer 4

well, im really wild too, but i can control myself. teach them discipline. my parents told me that no one will like me NE more if i am crazy and always hyper. i cannot stand 4 ppl 2 not like me so i starightened up. it mite wrk. the most important thing 4 them as a 10 &11 yr old is to have fun. u could start 2 be wild and irresponsible. itll get 2 them and the y wont be able 2 handle it. theyll fix up. dont wri.

Answer 5

Check out how you are talking to them - are you yelling or are you calm. A calm quiet voice commands more authority than yelling. You also need to have consequences for their behavior. If they don't listen, something happens - just be sure you've warned them of the consequence and that you follow through. There is no overnight fix, just lots of work on your parenting skills.

Answer 6

Because you have nto been acting as a parent. You have threatened them with punishments and then never backed it up.

Sit down with them, calmly and explain there are no house rules, and if they break the rules, the consequences. Then follow up. If you wimp out, you might as well just lay down on the floor, cause they are going to walk all over you and the teenage years are yet to come.

Answer 7

You can make them listen to you by disciplining them. Be an actual parent and enforce rules. Take away everything they like (all their toys, video games, television etc) and then give stuff back as they show they will behave and listen.

Answer 8

whip their butts with the old fashioned hand all kids today deserve a good *** whipping now and then NOW IM NOT TELLING YOU TO BEAT YOUR KIDS thats where everyone goes with this question but we all know at least those lucky enough to have parents who whipped us there is a big differance between a whipping and a beating and every sane person knows that line . just do it they will thank you later

Answer 9

Break out the belt. Sometimes thats all a kid needs. My dad used to make me go out and pull a switch off the tree out back. Do something that will put a little fear in them.

Answer 10

have fun it gets worse my husband has a 14 year old daughter that tells me that I am not her mother so she doesn't have to listen to me but it is her dad and I's house she wont even listen to him she gets in trouble all the time cause she wont listen

Answer 11

GIVE THEM CONSEQUENCES, NOT PUNISHMENTS. AVOID GETTING MAD, TAKE AWAY THE T.V, COMPUTER, ETC., IF THEY TURN THEM BACK ON TAKE THE PLUG OR THE CABLE WITH YOU. DONT FIGHT OVER LITTLE THINGS: CLEANING ROOM ETC. JUST TELL THEM THEY GET A REWARD IF THEY DO. REMEMBER YOU DONT HAVE TO STAY AND LISTEN TO THEM FIGHT BACK WITH YOU. GO TAKE A BATH, LOCK THE DOOR TO YOUR ROOM AND READ FOR A WHILE. WHEN YOU GET OUT THEY WILL BE A LITTLE CALMER AND REALIZE THAT YOURE NOT GONNA SIT AND FIGHT BACK