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1)Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours

2)If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either

3)Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer

4)The world is more like it is now than it ever has been before

5) i think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series; unless we lose Game 5

6)As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error
http://www.dumb-quotes.com

2006-06-13 09:47:14 · 6 answers · asked by hunter 3 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

6 answers

Bachelors and Marriage..quotes

Every man should get married some time; after all,happiness is not the only thing in life !!

--Anonymous


Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

--Oscar Wilde


Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

--Scottish Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism.
I was married for two years.

--Sam Kinison


Men have a better time than women;
for one thing, they marry later;
for another thing, they die earlier.

--H. L. Mencken

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

--Anonymous

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

--Anonymous

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.

--Anonymous

I take my wife everywhere, but she always keeps finding her way back to home.

--Anonymous

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
She said,"Somewhere I h! ave never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

--Anonymous

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

--Anonymous
My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

--Anonymous

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

--Anonymous

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in."

--Anonymous

Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs....."

--Anonymous

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling at the frontdoor, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

--Anonymous

2006-06-13 21:38:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Very funny - lol!!

Here's my personal 'stupid' quote - it's a true story.
I was out shopping with my friend one day. We were in a talking lift (elevator). He said "that computerised talking really annoys me". To which I replied "Yeah, but they only do it for the deaf"!!!

2006-06-13 17:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by manorris3265 4 · 0 0

1) Shut your mouth and eat your dinner

2) If you fall and hurt yourself I am gonna give you a good hiding on top of it

were said to be by my grandmother when I was little..

And the funny thing is, I find myself saying them to my little boy now too!!

2006-06-14 05:32:01 · answer #3 · answered by Happy Halloween 4 · 0 0

"Iraq has weapons of mass destruction"-I think the monkey in the White House said it.

2006-06-13 16:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Muse1984 aka MayaRose 4 · 0 0

its all the same thing, only different.

2006-06-13 16:54:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

thats hilarious.

2006-06-13 16:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by madison 2 · 0 0

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