I was previously in a 4-year relationship with my 3-yr old son, father. He was involved in our son's life until he turned one years old. After that he decided to leave us. He moved to another city. He came back in November of "05, he's now living with his parents, and still hardly ever see our son. I pay $100 a week in childcare and he don't offer me a dime. He make at least $1000 a week. (I know you're thinking, why don't she have him on child support) His boss pays him cash... Anytime, I asked if his child can come over, he tells me no, but at his convenience he want to come get his son, like everything is fine.
Another thing, my son's grandmother is very selfish as well, the same thing with her, whenever I ask if my son can come over, it's always bad timing, but again, when it's convenient for her she want to come get him. I also must mention she's fortunate to where she don't have to work, I'm tired of my son only being able to visit at there convenience. What should I do?
2006-06-13 09:31:24 · 11 answers · asked by me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yep- you should let him. Hate to say this but I know. My mom didn't let us see our deadbeat dad ( for good reason I found out years later) but SHE was the one I ended up resenting. I left home at 15- on Mother's Day- 9 years ago to go live with my dad. In retrospect, now that I'm grown and I'm a mom- I see what she meant. Why SHOULD he get to see the kids whenever he wants when you're the one doing all the work? But- kids NEVER see it that way. Be the better person, let the kids see his dad. That way, the kid can see and learn for himself that the guy is no good and he wont even want to go over there.
2006-06-13 09:37:59 · answer #1 · answered by Shell 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is tough, I was in a similar situation. After a long battle, my new husband adopted my son. He is now 16. I said when he was old enough I would tell him the truth, he now knows, he has a relationship with his aunt and I said if he wanted to meet his father, I would help him. I think it is important for him to know his other family, they will not be there forever. I also hoped that he would make the right decsion. He received a 15th b-day card from his father and just said "Why Now" he was po'ed. When he was small I would call his father to see if he wanted to see him, that is the only time he saw him and I had to be there, he was not to be left alone with him. Try that, you must be there, if they are not ok with that then screw them. You got the good end of the deal, you have your child, they don't!!!
2006-06-13 16:46:20 · answer #2 · answered by mikemadie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the father doesn't have to get paid anything for you to take him to court. Think about it the child still needs to eat whether the father makes money or not. What will happen is the court will put him in jail if he doesn't pay. The child is your responsibility AND the father's responsibility. And second, why put your son in a position of being pushed on people that don't want him? That will mess him up for the rest of his life. Children should always be where they are loved and wanted.
2006-06-13 16:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one for you to ask. I being a son in this same type of situation can only tell you what I think. If you keep your son from his other family now, that can come back on you later. He is too young to make his own decisions and can look back and say that you kept him from them. Even though you know thats not true and it was only for their convienence that they wanted to see him. I suggest that you let them have time with him. Even if it is a shitty situation. Then later in life when he starts realizing the way they are and treat him, he will not have anything to hold against you. You gave them and your son every opportunity. There will be no regrets.
2006-06-13 16:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by sawilke1212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever beef you have over a deadbeat family should not come between your child and that family unless your child is being hurt. Never be the one to come between because then your child will grow up to resent you in the end. Just be happy that your childs father even wants to have anything to do with your child. that is a start. Don't let this ruin your childs relationship.
2006-06-13 16:35:58 · answer #5 · answered by jay c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let your son decide if he wants to see him.When he decides to then have your son ask him.But don't let your son wait for him take him over there as soon as he gets permission from his father.Or else he may be left waiting.My daughter's dad was the same way.I made him look at her when she wanted to see him and he didn't have time.That way my daughter would know whose choice it was.I was scared that she would eventually blame me for her father's mistakes
2006-06-13 16:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by m_l_p73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a court order stating the visitation rights.
2006-06-13 16:35:43 · answer #7 · answered by stefienquix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say ..allow him to see the other side of his family but when it's convenient for you. If the times don't coincide then plan something for a different date, if they don't fall thru...then that's on them.
2006-06-13 16:41:46 · answer #8 · answered by genger_plum 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let your son figure out what he thinks about the family before you stop him from seeing them.
2006-06-13 16:34:53 · answer #9 · answered by amber_75125 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lay down the law sister girl! You are the one in charge and YOU ultimately decide when and who he sees. If he is so determined, let HIM get the lawyer!
2006-06-13 17:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by heavensangel_0130 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋