What is the best way to make fanatics religious people stop bothering you?

Question

It's very annoying that they can't understand and respect you if you don't believe in God.

I want to get married and I will have problems with my girlfriend's parents because they take for granted to marry by the church. (They comented that they know a priest)

I had not say anythinf yet.

Answer 1

To become religious. Or to stop living on Earth.

You might as well get used to it as it is the reality of today.

I suggest to become religious. Might as well acknowledge your Creator now.

Answer 2

Well, when dealing with family members it isn't an easy thing to do. If your girlfriend is insistent that she wants to be married in her families church, by a certain priest, and you would rather not...then you must ask yourself what is more important to you.

I would think that as an athiest or even agnostic, it wouldn't matter to you who married you, as long as you were married. As far as post-wedding goes, you are still going to be put into situations of going to churches (for other people/relatives marriages, funerals, baptisms, etc...) Granted you can choose not to go, but then your wife will grow away from you.

At this point you need to reevaluate your ability to deal with going to church from time to time. If your beliefs are beyond athiesm and aren't "no God", but "anti-God", then you might want to rethink marrying into a family that holds the church high...because you will be put into this same situation forever.

Bottom line is just deal with the church, or leave the relationship and find someone with the same belief structure as you.

Answer 3

I am Catholic and I actually have much empathy for your situation. I would definatly find out what you are getting yourself into. Marriage is an oath that you are making to your significant other.

You need to discuss this with your possible future wife about these issues. Communication is very very important before entering into marriage.

You and your wife need to be on the same page.

Devil's Advocate Question: "Does your future wife want to get married in the Church?"

Is she a practicing Catholic? Have you talked about raising children?

Answer 4

Be direct and also respectful. Let them know where you and your girlfriend stand. Talk with your girlfriend first, it's best to approach the situation together and be on the same page. Just thank her parents for the suggestion but also let them know you two (you & gf) are making the choices together. Also, let them know that if you need their help you will let them know. It feels awkward having to put them in their place but there is always a nice and respectful way to turn down their suggestions.

Answer 5

If you are getting married, and you want your marriage to last, you need to work things out with them as respectfully as possible.

People love to think that they are just marrying the person, not the person's family, but that's not entirely true. Family is part of the package. And they can be a great resource of support and encouragement if you develop a good relationship with them.

I think, as difficult as it may be for her, that your girlfriend needs to work this out with her family. If the two of you have decided against a church ceremony, she needs to work it out with them.

You also might consider humoring them on this point if they are paying for the wedding. Negotiating the wedding is also a practice run for negotiating your new life and your girlfriend moving from her parent's home to your new home together.

Relationships are changing, and sometimes you end up in turf wars during wedding planning. It's not really about the wedding, but about the pending changes in the relationships.

Check out "Boundaries" by John Townsend and Henry Cloud (this is from a Christian slant, but it's the best I've read about personal and relational boundaries). http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0310247454/qid=1150231350/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-1264722-3309552?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

"Getting To Yes," by Roger Fisher: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0140157352/qid=1150231296/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-1264722-3309552?n=507846&s=books&v=glance

Answer 6

I think it's wise for you to speak up with your GF first, ask her how will her parents take it if you two decide to marry elsewhere?

Does your GF agree with your feelings? If so, BOTH of you need to start talking!!! Don't wait till the last minute to do it!

Communication is key for ALL relationships, of any type. If you and GF feel it is necessary, get a mediator who knows how to calm explosive matters to help break the news.

Sweetie, don't wait. The longer you wait on this, the harder it becomes and the more likely resentment will build.

Frankly, I do agree with you (and GF) that it is YOUR choice on where to marry, not your parents. If parents don't like it, they either suck it up or don't attend. :-)

Answer 7

if you are up front with them by telling them you don't believe in the Lord they may not allow their daughter to marry you even if she is old enough, and they do disapprove and marries you anyways they may disown her it's up to you but would it hurt to be married in a church? It's just a few minutes...and it should be a happy time for your wife to be and of course for you too...why wouldn't you want to believe in the Lord anyways? he is the one that gave you life....

Answer 8

You need to talk to your girl friend about this. If you are not a Christian I don't see why you would get married in a church.

Answer 9

Tell them that you would like to discuss 'your' beliefs with them.

Christians don't like that because for them, what they believe is the 'only' truth and they don't want to hear or talk about anything else...Ever!

If they don't try to convert you, they will probably never bother you again with anything of a religious nature.

Always works for me ;)

^

Answer 10

The same way you deal with an obnoxious child that you can't spank.

You smile and nod your head and ignore them.

Do not let them take control or they will always be butting into your business.

Answer 11

Stop baiting them! People who are Christaphobic make a life time study of wasting time on what they hate.... and the CULTS go along for the ride.