should grandparents have a fence around their swimming pool in order to have young grandchildren visit ?

Question

I have a toddler now 3 years old . We live about 10 mins from his grandparents house . They have a swimming pool and refuse to put up a fence in fact there was a fence up and they removed it when my son was one and half years old . Since then I will not allow my son to go over to their house untill there is a barrier around the pool . The grandparents would rather not see their grandson than put up a fence . My son cries because the older grand kids can go over and play but he can not . They tell me that I'm being rediculous and I just have a phobia and my sons life is not in danger . Am I wrong or should there be a fence around the pool ? I would appreciate any feedback on the subject .

I would like to add that money is not an issue and there was a fence in place it got taken down so that they would not have to look at it . They can see their grand child any time just not at their house .

Answer 1

I would check with your local bylaw officer if there is any bylaw in place requiring inground pools to befenced in.It only takes a second for a fun day to turn into a tragedy. I agree with you that the children should not go to the grandparents until a fence is up. I'm not a gambler and would not put my children's life at risk. Do your inlaws worry more about how there yard looks over the safety of your children.

Answer 2

No matter what there should be a fence around the pool. Almost every subdivision or town/city has ordances on pools and a majority state that you must have a fence around your pool - not only to protect small children visiting your home but also other children who may be drawn to your pool from the neighborhood or even pets that could fall in and drown. There is also the possibility of a lawsuit if your parents are found liable when someone gets hurt in their pool because it was not properly secured. You should check with your grandparents city ordinances to check to see if they are in violation. Also not just small children can drown - these 'older' grandkids could drown if they are not properly supervised around a pool so a fence is in the best interest of everyone. It seems neglectful of your grandparents to think that everyone is safe around their pool. I am wondering if this is just an aesthetics issue? I commend you for sticking to your guns on this issue! Hooray! I have a 4 1/2 and a 1 year old and I too would not let them visit this house without a fence!

Answer 3

Putting up a a fence around a pool (especially with younger kids around) is just common sense for anyone. A pool should be a fun thing you enjoy--not something you are constantly worried about. Since there are alot of people who seem to use the pool, why don't all of you go in and buy a fence for it? Splitting the cost between you, the aunts and uncles, and the grandparents sounds like a very good idea to me.

Answer 4

You are absolutely right. I can't understand why they would risk the danger of having your son drown. Children die every year from drowning accidents. They are called accidents, because no one ever plans on it happening. You do not have a phobia. You are being a reasonable parent with reasonable fears. Children are fascinated by water and I think it would be quite possible for something to happen to him. If your son really wants to go over there, bring him over for a short period of time and let him visit with his grandparents inside the house.
Find some statistics to show his grandparents how many children drown in pools. Let them know that you aren't just dealing with a "phobia"
I could be wrong, but I thought there was a law that all pools had to have a fence around them. Do they have a fence at all around their yard?

Answer 5

Your parents are in violation of most building codes and if the city were to become aware of this, the building officials office would require they put a fence around it. To let this go unresolved is not just a danger to your children but all the children in the neighborhood. It is what is called an attractive nuisance in insurance circles. Your parents are taking the risk of having to live with being responsible for the death of a child, prosecution and a heavy lawsuit. These building codes were created not to tax you but to protect the public because, lets face it, some people are not bright enough to do it on their own. You don't mention whether this is an above ground or in ground pool. There are different codes for each. Above ground must have a locking ladder to prohibit children from gaining access when no adults are present. In ground pools must have a fence (find out from your building official how high the fence has to be.) In both cases the latch must me on the inside and only reachable by an adult. If the in ground pool is inside a fenced in yard (all the way attached to the house) and only accessible from a gate (same latch rule applies from above) and a door from the house, the door from the house must have an alarm that lets you know every time someone goes into the back yard where the pool is.
My husband posts the newspaper articles of all the children who are hurt or killed by irresponsible home owners (many of which are relatives) on the walls in his office. Rent the video, Map of the World with Sigourney Weaver and show that to your parents. It only takes a moment of inattention.

Answer 6

Not only are you not wrong in this situation...if I were in that situation (and I'm not) I would not let my child go there even if they put a fence up now. Their attitude on this issue would be a red flag that they still would not make sure the gate was closed and locked or they would be careful. A fence is only a first barrier to protecting a child from drowning. They still require attentive adults to keep them from harm.

P.S. Edited to add: My aunt was killed when her friends were goofing around and she fell into a pool at 11 years old. None of the children there could swim well enough to help her. This is not just a problem for small children. I believe everyone should learn basic water safety.

Answer 7

I'm surprised that they do not have the pool fenced. Most states require that a pool be fenced.

I can't blame you in the least for not allowing your child to stay with his grandparents with the pool not being secure. My second cousin was four and staying with his grandparents when my cousin was called out of town on a family emergency. They dozed off and Ryan fell into the pool. By the time they realized where he was, it was too late. Even though my uncle and aunt still feel guilty over the incident, my cousin can't stand to even talk to them still to this day and it's been almost 20 years.

Answer 8

I think that your grandparents are a bit uncaring on the subject but I believe there are other ways to keep your child safe then to have something as permanent and expensive as a fence. Perhaps you could get a portable folding fence? Or just set limits for your child and keep a close eye on him. If you're truly worried or if your child has already been able to work his way around things like that then I would suggest just keeping him away from his grandparent's house until he's a bit older. Don't worry, all toddlers want to be like the big kids, don't take it too seriously.

Answer 9

Anyone that has a swimming pool should have a fence around it with a lock on it. I wouldn't allow my children to go to their grandparents home or anyone else's if they had a swimming pool and no fence and lock to protect them from wandering in it. I don't blame you. Your thinking of your child first. By the way, why did they remove the fence in the first place?

Answer 10

You can call your local building inspector to see if you legally need a fence, but with kids in the neighborhood you really should put up a fence to keep them out. You can't always be there to guard the pool, at least a fence will prove that you did everything you could to prevent a child from drowning. The liability should be less in a wrongful death suit