when will my fiancee realize i have changed and stop being such a B*&^ch about the past???? she is reminding me of my mom MORE AND MORE each day. I wish there was a button to push on her to just make her SMILE. I MISS her smile!!
2006-06-13 08:43:58 · 27 answers · asked by gettinsum2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like she is very insecure and doesn't trust you. Maybe she isn't really ready to settle down and she is using the past as an excuse. I would suggest some premarital counseling for the two of you.
2006-06-13 08:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by happyheart 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to be straight up with her and tell her that your past is the past and to leave it alone. Let her know that by asking for hand in marriage is asking to start a "new" life together and that what you "both" did in the past is just that "the past". There is a song that the main verse is"There is no future in the past". Tell her straight out, she either lets it go now and never to bring it up again or you may have to rethink things out. If she is like this now, and fights by throwing up things, better to get ir resolved before the ring goes on the finger forever.
Let her that it hurts you and that you miss her smile and the way she was. She may not realize what she is doing hurts and that she is being in a way not liking to you. Tell her how you feel and see if things change, then decide what you want to do.
good luck to you..
2006-06-13 15:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by Cougar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and apologize one last time for the past. Then tell her you are no longer that person anymore and you don't want to hear about the past again. Ever. If she brings it up again and throws it in your face, you are ending the relationship.
If you let her keep doing this, she'll keep doing it through the entire marriage. This is your last chance to stop this. If she cannot act mature enough to grow up and move forward, she might not be the girl you want to marry. Not letting go of the past is a huge warning sign. Pay attention now before you marry a girl that turns into a nasty nagging wife.
2006-06-13 15:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever happened in the past is obviously difficult for your girlfriend to forgive. If she truly forgives you then she wouldn't bring up old stuff. You guys should strongly need to consider counseling before getting married.
Unfortunately that "smile" button does not exist. You can't pretend that the past never took place. It needs to be addressed so healing can happen. Yes, you were able to move on but clearly she hasn't.
2006-06-13 15:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to first find out exactly what about your past is bothering her. Let her know that you love her and only her, otherwise you wouldn't be engaged. Tell her the past is done and there's nothing you can do to change it; besides, your choices are what made you the person you are. Unless something awful has happened since you two have been together, let her know that you're still the same person she fell in love with in the first place.
2006-06-13 15:49:05 · answer #5 · answered by smsudude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words, and talks cheap...I am sure your fiancee values what you have to say but doesn't notice enough change to let the past be the past...time to prove her wrong..Today's a new day, a fresh start, a new beginning....love life, love her and she will smile once again.
2006-06-13 15:52:17 · answer #6 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her exactly what is bothering you. Tell her is she doesn't try to change that the relationship will not work.
On the other hand, if she is already reminding you of your mom and you are not even married to her yet...what will happen when you are married to her?
I think if I were you about now I would make the decision to run in the opposite direction from her like my pants were on fire....
2006-06-13 15:50:02 · answer #7 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only time will heal the past unfortunately and sometimes (being a woman myself) we do get a little bit like mothers thats who raised us and maternal instinct does come out from time to time and as far as her smile goes (which is extremly sweet that you say that) just tell her show her that romantic gooshy side that it sounds like you have your sure to show her that the person she fell in love with is still in there
2006-06-13 15:48:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, guess you are lucky that she is only your fiancee, and not married. you can get rid of her now without any penalty if you think that things arent gonna work out, do her and you a favor things are not going to get better, show her this and ask her what the problem is
2006-06-13 15:47:53 · answer #9 · answered by thale138 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love her, you will work through this. Surprise her with little notes each day and you may gain her smile back. Good Luck!
2006-06-13 15:48:35 · answer #10 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋