What Do I Do?

Question

Let me start from the begining
I went out with this guy that was controling and had an anger problem so i broke it off with him. Yeah i loved him and i didnt want to leave but i never in my life wanted to be in that kind of relationship. Well we stopped talking for at least 2 months well in that time frame he got another girlfriend....and yes i am i bit jelouse. We talk all the time and my feeling are starting to come back again. What do i do? If he brakes up with his girlfriend for me then what kind of choices do i have? I want to go back to him but then again i dont want that kind of relationship again. There for i need some kind of help if anyone can i would really really appreciate it.

Thanks!
Amanda

Answer 1

GET OVER HIM!!

This is how people could get stuck in an abusive relationship.
If you recognize that he is over controlling and has an anger problem, you shouldnt be with him. Can you imagine all the other great guys there are who are kind, considerate, and respectful? You are better than him and that kind of controlling guy. Sure he may be cute or something, but you need to think of where this relationship will go. Whatever he says, it's pretty doubtful he will change. Get a new boyfriend, one who is good looking(duh.) but will respect you. If he breaks up with his girlfriend, it might just be for the same reason.

Get OVer HiM! and think about your future.

Personally, I think it was a SUPER SMART! move to break up with him and to recognize the signs that he is controlling and has a problem controlling his anger.

Go with your gut feeling Girl!
You know he is controlling, and you don't want to be in that kind of relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I was in this same exact position about a year ago. My ex was controlling, had an anger problem and that led to abuse. We stopped talking for about 2 or 3 months, but once we started talking again all of my feelings came rushing back. He didn't change, sure he said he did, but they never do. He will still be controlling, he'll still have an anger problem. If you want whats best for you, move on...it'll take time I know, it took me almost 6 months, but I'm with someone new. And once you find someone new you'll realize you've always been better off without him.

Answer 3

WHY would you want to be in a relationship with a guy who is in your own words "controlling"... and has "an anger problem"? You are just setting yourself up for problems. Even if he and his present girlfriend look happy, you can bet the farm she's seeing the same thing in him. Let her deal with it and just know that even if you have those jelouse feelings, she is the one having to deal with his issues .... not YOU. Besides, there are a millions of other NICE guys out there.

Answer 4

I'm sorry that you're in such a tricky situation. I have definitely gone through a similar thing. I knew that I didn't want to hurt his new girlfriend, and actually, I didn't really want to be in a relationship with him again, since it didn't go all that well. I tried to put myself in the new girl's shoes, and thought that I wouldn't really want some ex-girlfriend talking with my guy all the time. So I backed off for awhile. We're still friends, but there's no danger of things getting sticky again.

Answer 5

You listened to your inner voice once it told you that you didn't want in that kind of relationship. Why even ask us? You know what is right but you are just confused and want to fit in and be doing things with a guy right now. Don't give in. Just wait it out, you never know who will come along next. And if you go back to this other nimrod, you might miss the best thing that could have happened to you. Be patient. Stick with what you thought was right in the first place.

Answer 6

People tend to reflect on relationships that they obtained some kind of challenge or comfortableness with. My aunt had this similar problem; she was with a man who abused her for 10 years, but always thought that maybe he would change. Unless he has reflected on his actions and personality and actively tries to change for the better, your problems will be the same with him. Do not climb back on a horse that he knocked you off once.

Take a quote by Alexander Graham Bell:
"When a door closes, another opens. But often we look so long so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us."

Be strong and don't look back!

Answer 7

Cut off your relationship with him. It'll be hard but that's the only way you can completely get over him and close this vicious cycle. You have to get him out of your system entirely...If you get back to him things will stay the same, and in a while you will end up in the same situation where you are right now and worse.

Answer 8

Amanda, take it from a guy, if you take him back it's like saying that you approve of his prior behavior. Anyone can make a mistake and get involved in a destructive relationship. If you go back for more, know full well that you CHOSE that type of relationship. You can do better. Don't sell yourself short. Move on.

Answer 9

Amanda, he would still try to control you!
Try to avoid talking to him as much as possible, 'coz it's best to get over a relationship if it means saving itself from a future divorce due to wife beating, excessive possessiveness, and ignorance towards your feelings. You are already safe right now as u're taken the first step towards happiness by breaking off with him. But girl, why do you want to get into sh** again???

If this doesn't convince you, then try the google to know more about angry young, possessive, abusive men...you'll know!

Take Care!

Answer 10

dont go back he hasn't changed. he's just not attached to you right now that's why he's acting different. if he got back with you he would be controlling again because he would consider you his. men like that never change. just think about all the bad things in the relationship that you dont want and just like that do go back to what you dont want. just believe it that you guys will never work out and you deserve someone better.