I met this girl about a year ago and I was in a relationship then. After we split up this girl started to show up at my house at all hours of the day. I am a 36 year old m and she is 21 year old f.
She acted like she wanted a relationship but everytime she got mad at me she was going back to her childs father. So nothing ever happened between us. Then when she hears I am moving on she shows back up after 2 weeks and spends the weekend with me. 2 days later she is going back to her childs father again. Me and him talked and I didn't hear anything from her for about a month now and now she shows back up again. Do I accept that she is just a friend with perks or do I stay clear of her this time. She is a very good friend to me and I enjoy spending time with her even though I know nothing will ever come out of it.
2006-06-13 07:25:58 · 28 answers · asked by danjr101n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ask her out
2006-06-13 07:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by wesman91 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, this girl doesn't know what she wants romantically yet and isn't mature enough to start settling on an ideal, much less find someone who fits it and keep him.
If both of you are OK with just being 'friends with perks', then that's fine - just make DAMN sure you don't have a child with this woman or marry her. That way, when she grows up and is ready to settle down with someone, it could be you - or, if someone else, you'll be able to part amicably and remain friends...or not. But the bottom line is that there will be no kids involved and, once you break, no ties and hassles.
The qualifications for my opinion:
Majored in Psychology in college
Happily married 16yrs
Open marriage 15yrs
Current girlfriend (age 30)
No severe/tangled breakups out of over 12 relationships...all while maintaining a healthy marriage
Good luck,
M, age 39
2006-06-13 14:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would keep that relationship as just friends. there must be some reason why she keeps running back to the other guy whether its because she cares for him, she is scared of starting a relationship with you or maybe she just doesnt know what she wants...but this girl is obviously not in a place where she wants to have a long term healthy relationship and the friends with benefits thing mixed with her constantly dissappearing is only going to cause major problems for both of you. it sounds like things could get very messy and complicated..i would keep things just as friends until the two of you can figure out what she wants and what its going to take for her to stay put.
2006-06-13 14:30:40 · answer #3 · answered by Hez 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you enjoy spending time with her she doesn't seem like she would be a good friend because of the history you have with her. You also take the chance of falling for her, which in the long run you will only be setting yourself up to get hurt. Move on, lesson learned.....
2006-06-13 14:32:26 · answer #4 · answered by keep4gettin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurry up and get away from her. She is playing ping pong with you and the father of her child. Don't be a fool and play into it. She wants to know she still has a hold on you and can get you when she wants. Friends don't do things like that. She is using you and it won't become of anything other than her game.
2006-06-13 14:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your call. it sounds to me like she is using you as a pawn with her child's father. even though "the perks" may be nice, wouldn't you rather spend time with someone that you might have a future with?? It sounds like she has some emotional laundry that she needs to work on too. But, I don't know her.
2006-06-13 14:30:46 · answer #6 · answered by TN Seeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to cut the girl out of your life. She obviously knows what she is doing... stringing you along. She might act like a good friend but she will ruin every chance you might have for another relationship.
2006-06-13 14:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by jellybean7980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds very unstable!! Maybe Bi-Polar. You should get rid of her. Maybe get a female friend to pose as you new girlfriend you know scare her off.. If she was to get a STD you would all have it!!!!!!! Besides you will never find a significant other with her in the picture, no woman in her right mind would get involved in that triangle!!!!!!
2006-06-13 14:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well....when she stayed the night...did you make love to her?if u did.....then have a heart 2 heart talk with her...tell her you do not want that kinda relationship she is trying to build.Women can be so unpredictable and erratic..She is playing on your intelligence..she is not stable and such people can be a disaster ..if you did not then remain friends with her.does that suck? I wanna ask you a question....do you genuinely love her?...
2006-06-13 14:34:21 · answer #9 · answered by Joshua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, the sex must be good cause its clouding your better judgement. She sounds a little psycho to me... but then again, I don't know her or you.
So, I offer this: If your best friend was going through this instead of you, what would you say to him?
Good Luck, Bra!
Aloha!
2006-06-13 14:30:51 · answer #10 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay clear of her. if she keeps running to her baby father every time it might means shes in a relationship with him and shes just using you to cheat on him or make him jealous.
2006-06-13 14:29:28 · answer #11 · answered by demi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋