Crush on a professor?

Question

I have this huge crush on a professor of mine, but I realize it's not a good thing to act upon for both our sakes. I don't want him to lose his job, and I certainly don't want to ruin my life either.

But I cannot stop thinking about him. I have enrolled myself in all his classes for the past three semesters just to be around him. Now that I don't take anymore classes with him, I wonder how I would be able to see him without coming off as creepy. Visiting a professor's office for no apparent reason is too stalkerish.

I'm sure there are people out there who could relate to how I feel. Any advice is appreciated.

Please spare me the inane one-liners. Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

If he is married, learn to deal with your feelings, but do not deal with him. If you do not know if he is married, find out as soon as possible.

Look for a copy of the faculty handbook for the school you go to. Often a librarian can help do this. Check to make sure sure that there are NO provisions preventing a faculty member from seeing a student socially. Often guideline prevent this.

Only when you know that you will not cause him any grief (or legal complications if you are not above the age of consent in your state) should you proceed. Stop by his office when he is not busy. You might ask him about possible graduate studies in the his field.

Try to keep thing professional unless he shows an interest in you as a female and not just a student. I have known professors who used their position to maintain a supply of "fresh women," but I have also known of professors who marry former student and live happily for decades.

Take your time.

Answer 2

it's actually not that strange to visit a profs office without a good reason if you've had that many classes with them in the past.

did you go to him a lot for help while in his classes?
did you two bond?

if these two answers are yes then it's fine to go talk to him, drop in for a friendly hello, ect.
However don't be hanging around him all the time, just once and awhile is fine, ask him for advice on somethink that you can relate back to one of his classes that is associated with something you doing now.

I do not suggest blurting out how you feel to him, it could make him very uncomfortabe and you could lose him as a friend/mentor.
Accept being close to him for his advice and wisdom and be grateful for that. Persue other oppertunites with gyus who aren't your prof.

now, has he shown any interest in you?

if he has and it is SOLID obvious interest (nothing silly like well he looked at me all the time in our classes and we had eye contact and it as magical!!) in you then perhaps you could drop hints or when you drip by his office sometime for advice or just to say hi, look at the time and be all like "oh shoot i really have to go, i'm late and i have to be somewhere, but maybe we could a)catch up some more sometime over coffee or drinks?! b) discuss this further over coffee or drinks

OH, and if he has a wife or girlfriend don't persue him.
If you thought he was single and he lets things slip that inform you that hes taken do not look dejected and disappointed in front of him because then he can see what your on about and can create discomfort between you and someone who you could learn alot from.

i mostly advise you just let it go though, go talk to him, keep him around...profs are a good source of info and have a lot they can teach you, but only in a mentor type way.
Perhaps you will go to grad school and he could even be your advisor if you keep him around (this is assuming your studying what he teaches based on the fact that you have taken all his classes)

OH yeah, and if hes not your prof anymore, then he can't lose his job over dating you.

Answer 3

Been there. I waited until I was no longer a student of his and emailed him at his school email address, usually there's a directory. We went out a few times and had a good laugh about the whole student/prof. thing. and I ended up being the one to end things with him. Give it a go. What do you have to lose?

Answer 4

i am too surprised the same was the case with me.
but please follow me .if he leally trully loves you and is unmarried then calmly urslf and him remain together but don't forget urslf .you will loose yourself and even him but test wether is his love for you true and does he have the guts to realise it before eveyone and if not then think that he is acheater and forget him strongly.

Answer 5

WOA slow down and think about it youer professer ! You should be dateing someone Uer age

Answer 6

well if you are in love of your professor, it is kinda bad but you have to think that he is more older than you.

Answer 7

Consider yourself spared.

You're welcome after the fact.