my mom died in november2005 im 16 now will the pain ever stop?

Answer 1

I don't think the pain will leave you alone, a mother is a mother and the love we have to our mothers is like the biggest thing a human can ever experience. I think the pain will always be there, but a way to try to ignore is to enjoy your life, now during your teen years.

I know it is very hard to remember someone that gave you life and the woman who made you what you are, but I recommend you to enjoy this times and go out, discover new worlds and friends.

Answer 2

So sorry to hear that. Mine died when I was 17 and I am now 31. I think I took her death harder than most people would and I am still in a lot of pain over it...14 years later. But after the first 2-3 years, it was much easier.

Truth is, your teen years are a horrible time to lose your mother...especially for a daughter. Often times, teens are rebellious and a little selfish (totally normal), and you might feel guilty about that...but it's not your fault...and every teen (even the best of them) is difficult at times. Plus, you never get to know your mother as an adult. This is something I really miss...I think me and my mom would have had such a cool relationship at this stage in my life.

You just have to remember how much she loved you and know that she KNEW how much you loved her...even if you didn't show it 24/7.

Certain milestones will be harder for you than others.

So honestly, no the pain will NEVER completely stop, but it WILL get better...and someday, you'll have your own family/children and that will help a lot. Just hang in there...and know that you're not alone!

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom 3 yrs.ago and instead of feeling less sad, I find that I miss her more and more as the time goes by. I suppose it's because she's been gone longer too.
I have very fond memories of my Mom and I try to think about the good times whenever I feel blue. I am also surprised that it is still so easy for me to cry...I think this is natural....after all, she was my Mom, and my best friend, and I will miss her forever.
Now, I am also quite a bit older, 49 this year, so it is much more understandable that I've lost my mother. At 16 she and I were separated because my parents were going through a nasty divorce.
Don't feel like missing her and being sad over losing her is abnormal, like I said, she was your Mom and you only get one of those, but be careful, if you feel overly sad and/or helpless or are sleeping a lot, feeling sluggish or not eating properly you may be suffering from clinical depression. Clinical depression is different than being sad over loss but the loss can certainally trigger clinical depression. If you are exhibiting those types of behavior you might want to look into seeing a therapist who an help you sort things out and prescribe some anti depressants that may help. Don't let yourself get so down that you can not enjoy your life, I know your Mom wouldn't want that...she would want you to be happy so if you think that seeing a therapst, or sometimes just talking to a friend (preferably an adult that you can confide in-Aunt/Uncle, Teacher, Neighbor or Gidance Counelor) would help then I urge you to look into it today.

I lost my father when I was 13...it is very hard to accept these things at such a young age. I know that at16 you probably feel like you are mature enough to cope but trust me, you are not.
Is your father living? Do you have any brothers/sisters? Who are you living with?

If I can be of help you can email me @ [e-mail].

I will keep you in my prayers.
Judi

Answer 4

Dear Laurena, my mother passed away very suddenly in November of 1986. I had just entered my first year of college and was only 15 days away from my 19th birthday. The pain was intense, and honestly it has not ever completely gone away. Over the years however, the pain has lessened to a bearable amount. I can breathe normally again, and I can think about her fondly instead of miserably. I remember the good things of her life now rather than hurt of losing her.
Now, I am 38 and have my own family and I can tell you without a doubt that your mother (like mine) would want you to do your best to continue living life happily. That is all any parent wants for their children. So the best way to honor your mom's memory, and to help get yourself through the pain is to get back into your life. Talk openly with your best friend, cry when you need to and laugh without guilt. Find out what you are good at, figure out who you are and live your life knowing that your mom will always be with you in spirit.

Answer 5

The pain will change but it won't stay the same. It will become more bearable, less prominent, but it will reemerge at special times in your life when you wish she was there, like when you graduate or get married. Still, the pain will not destroy you. You will survive it and do much better than seems possible now. Millions of people survive this kind of pain everyday, people with fewer strengths and less support than you. We, as human beings, are made to do certain things: love, play, survive, endure, create. You will do those things, too, just as you do them now.

One other thing. Because your mother died when she did, you will be a different version of yourself. Not a better or worse version, but a different one than if she had lived with you longer. That's OK. You don't have to work to turn out a certain way, or be the one true you. There is no one true you, but many legitimate versions.

In short, the pain will not go away, but you'll continue to be some version of just fine anyway. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

My mother passed away May 21 2003 of a massive heart attack in the middle of the night in front of me my dad and brother I was only 19 when she died she also died on my husbands birthday (we were actually broken up at the time) The pain never goes away..you have your days for sure...birthdays are hard, the anniversary of her death, her birthday the first year was by far the hardest it was the first of everything without her. You will get use to it, of her not being there, you feel robbed and cheated, why me? seems to go through your head a lot. Some days feel like it happened yesterday some like it was 10 years ago...you just kind of have to bear through it, you don't have a choice, its hard when you think of memories or her and growing up and sometimes they feel so real like you can just reach out and be there in the moment again...All I can say is take each moment..moment by moment....times will be tough...I didn't have a wedding because she wouldn't be there...we went to the courthouse instead, some people dont understand why...I hate whenn people say they understand when they dont....I am pregnant now and it is harder than ever to do it without her here....if you need to talk email me [e-mail].....

Answer 7

Hello,

It is very tough and painful when we lose someone that is important to us. That is why many people in situations similar to yours ask the same question. The answer to your question does not have a concrete answer. Honestly, I wish the answer were simply: "yes the pain goes away in six months." But in reality, the answer depends on you. A person that lost their mother 10 years ago told me, "...the pain doesn't go away, it just gets softer."

That is the best answer I can give you. Going to counseling or other forms of therapy definitely help, but as long as you remember the person, it will be painful to not have them with you. You can, however, get to a point where you can and will enjoy life, even in their absence. The most important thing for you to do is to decide that you want to let some of the pain go.

I hope that I have helped.

Answer 8

If I have got ur question right-
Dear,
Loosing somebody who is near n dear is always painful, so much so at the tender age of 15-16, I can understand. This is not a condo lance msg, but who gets the warmth of his/her mom all through the life? Someday an individual has to stand in this world as an individual only.
U ask whether the pain will ever stop, silly! It pains because u remember her. It will stop when u stop remembering her. Is that possible? Is that advisable?
Do not forget her. and do not treat the remembrance as pain.
Think of the memories of togetherness as continued togetherness. Think of memories as warmth in chill, as candle in dark. Thinking of these hovering memories as pains is wrong.

Answer 9

First you must realize that you will go through several stages of crisis:
1.Shock / denial
2.Defensive retreat / anger
3.Acknowledgement / depression
4.Change / acceptance
You must realize which stage you are in, for example:
Ask yourself, am I angry she’s gone or have I accepted this catastrophic event. Once you determine what stage you may be at -this will help you decide your next step. Talking to a therapist is not a bad decision, they will listen to you, and at this point, discussing your feelings is very important – do not keep anything bottled up. Also, if you are not much of a talker, keep a journal, express your feelings in this journal, how you feel each day. Although, If you are suicidal, I advice you to seek immediate treatment. You may also benefit from a temporary SSRI, such as Zoloft, which may help with your anxious feelings.
Now to answer your question. Everyone deals with stress at different levels. For some, the death of a parent may not be as troubling as it may be for others. Once you accept what has occurred then you can reflect on the positive aspects of your life. You will always remember your mother and may become teary eyed on her birthday for years to come. But it is utmost important that you do not submit to negative feelings, live your life as she would have wanted you to, and always think positive.
Mike, RN

Answer 10

My wife lost her mother in July of 2004. The pain never goes away. She goes through periods where she really misses her and it makes her feel very lonely. I am sorry for your loss. There is nothing I can say to make it any better. You won't ever be without the pain of her loss. Over time the pain will dull somewhat but will never go away. You have to learn to accept what has happened and live your life to the fullest, it is what she would have wanted for you.