Help my 4 year old?

Question

My 4 year old son who is coming to the end of his second year in nursery and starting reception in September is not interested in writing I have tried all sorts of things he just says I can already do it dont need to do it again he even says this to his teachers. I have even printed pages from a web site with his favourite characters names he is still not interested HELP !

Thanks for all the answer most of the things suggested I have tried. He doeshave a very good vocabulary and can hold a conversation with any adult and get his point over. He is also very popular in nursery. I am not being pushy if he says not today then ok. He is a very loving child always saying that he loves me we always have our cuddles he is not short of them, I just wondered if any one had any other ideas that I have not tried will take up some of the suggestions but any more would be appreciated.

Answer 1

Teach him to love to read and the writing will follow.

My son hates to read and write...he is 8 and dyslexic. I let him use the computer and sit with him. We go to reading websites and fun ones. I also make up PowerPoint presentations with words and he has 10 seconds to say the word. It's fun and educational.

Answer 2

Don't worry. 4 is very young. He will come to it in his own time.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but you could be doing more harm than good in trying to make him interested before he is ready.

I am sure that you are a great mom and all you want to do is help him to achieve his potential, but you can't force a child to do this.

What is the worst thing that could happen?

Would it be that he would never be interested in writing? Well, if so, is that really so bad? You have a healthy son. Let him develop at his own speed.

The best parents are the ones that give their child boundaries, but within those, stand back and watch. His safety and his happiness are the most important things. An interest in any kind of schoolwork is not really very high on the list.

He is more likely to start being interested if you give him space, and let him be a child. More important than writing, is space to play and be himself.

All children are different. My son was not interested in writing or any form of school work. In fact, he just couldn't make sense of why he had to go to school. All the way through primary school, he was in a day dream.

When he reached secondary school at 11, he found his feet a bit more, but very slowly. I encouraged his achievements but did not put any pressure on him, because whenever I did, t seemed to make the situation worse. Now he is 18, and I am very proud of him. He still doesn't enjoy school work, and will never be a "reader". He has decided not to go to university like his friends, but has already found an interesting job. He passed 9 subjects at first level and is taking 3 A levels and his teachers say he is a fine young man, very caring, sensitive and strong.

It migt be that your son is an individual, and that is a very positive thing. It is hard, but try to take off any pressure. Trust your son to develop in the best way for him. Give him lots of support and cuddles and tell him you love him just the way he is.

I am sure it will work out well for you both.

Answer 3

Don't worry about it. He will write. I had a child who didn't like to write as a preschooler. I tried to push her. It didn't work, we just fought. I gave up. She is 12 now and an A student. She has beautiful penmanship.

What I have learned is this: young kids tend to think their teachers hung the stars and the moon. He will write for the teacher.

Another thought: If he doesn't want to write and is 4 going on 5. Maybe he is not ready for school. I have another child with a fall birthday. We didn't put her in Kindergarten until she was 5 going on 6. Sometimes maturity is the issue. School is so important that there is no point in rushing it. :)

Answer 4

Your son will find it difficult but not impossible going to school as an illiterate. Lots of other kids that age can't write either. If you want him to write well then you have to make him want to do it. Luckily for us kids are quite dumb(kidding). Start with getting him to do the smallest amount of writing by either putting off a fun game for a minute or two until he has done some writing. Then praise him. We hear it all the time, praise you child when he does good, but I mean PRAISE. It makes us feel uncomfortable at times but you need to shout about how pleased you are, heap platitudes on him like a 16 year old tart would a football player. Telling him how wonderful he is will boost self esteem, let him know how important this qriting thing is for you and above all, and this is the key, he will get to spend positive time with you.

Answer 5

You may need to take a step back. The more pressure that is put on him the less he is going to want to do it. Without saying anything, just show him how much fun it is to write. Let him see you writing and enjoying it. This may encourage him to pick up his pencil. I struggled with potty training my daughter for 2 years. I finally decided to leave her alone and a couple of weeks later she said "Mommy I need to go potty". She walked in there, went, and has gone ever since. She did it because she was ready and wasn't pressured. Your son's teachers should understand this. If you force a child to do something they will just become angry and end up hating it. Be patient and keep a positive attitude. Adding stress to the situation will only make things worse.

Answer 6

Some kids develop their English skills later than other kids. Anywhere between 2 - 7 years of age is an appropriate time to begin reading and writing. Just wait and relax. If he goes into 1st grade and still has no interest, you might want to casually discuss it with his teacher. When second grade rolls around and he still does not write, you should consult his pediatrician and be referred to a professional.
I'm assuming that he doesn't know how to write. Whether he writes during his free time is just a matter of personal interest. The important thing is that he knows how to write decently.

Answer 7

My son is six and has less developed fine motor skills than most kids in his class (doesn't like to hold the pencil or crayon - or fork for that matter). He never wanted to write, color or draw because it was difficult for him.

His teacher suggested doing things to strengthen his upper body especially shoulders, as they form the core for fine motor skills. Monkey bars, painting on an easel, basketball, etc. Also cutting paper is good too.

Also, someone else mentioned leapfrog - we got the L-Max which comes with a stylus and my son LOVES to write on it. "Letters on the Loose" is a really good cartridge for writing. Not cheap, but better than a gameboy and good for travel.

I don't know if my son will ever love to write (or even like it) but he is getting much better at it and knows it's something he's going to have to do.

Hang in there. Peer pressure of kindergarten will probably take care of most it!

Answer 8

I understand your plight. My son is also 4 and doesn't have much interest in writing. I just recently purchased some workbooks buy KUMON. For some reason my son has started to enjoy using these books. They go through the basic steps of writing, starting with drawing straight lines. I was also told to buy those little spongy things that go on the pencil to help him with his grasp. The KUMON books have tips for you as well. The best advice I got was from a dear friend. She said "don't worry, by the time he graduates, he will be able to write, tie his shoes and go potty all by himself". I think she meant, don't worry, don't stress, every kid goes at his own pace (especially boys!) and it will come. I have learned the more you force , the worse it is. Good luck.

Answer 9

I am a mother of two as well as an educator. Have you tried colouring-in books with his favourite characters displayed? Here he can practise his fine motor co-ordination and then move on towards the word side of things. The worst thing to do is force him into a situation where he will develop averse feelings towards writing - then you'll lose him. Allow him to get there by playing. He's still very young. Good luck

Answer 10

My boy is also 4 (5 in September) and is barely reading, much less writing. This is not not because I have not been trying. He's just not ready and I don't want to push.
However, he has an exceptional vocabulary and makes compound sentences and is terribly polite. We just went to preview kindergartens (k4 vs. K5????) and the Principal asked him what he liked to do. He answered that he liked to play blocks. He makes great lego toys. Don't sweat it. Let him enjoy his passions. Your anxieties will transfer to him. Consider shopping around for a school that will allow him to explore. This no child left behind testing environment is not good for early learning. Luckily, some schools are still kid focused and not test-focused.

Answer 11

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