Kissing toddler on the lips?

Question

I was just talking to my neighbor who is currently upset with some of the people on her husband's side of the family who kiss her toddler on the lips despiter her asking them not to. They tell her they've always done it in their family and they're not going to change. She thinks it's inappropriate and is also concerned about germs. I'm just curious what others think. Thanks!

Answer 1

I think it's inappropriate.

I am expecting and If someone does something to my child that I don't approve of and they tell me "too bad, we're not going to change" then they would not be spending any time with my child.

She may not be able to make them change...but she sure can shield her child from the inappropriate behavior.

ALWAYS respect the mother's wishes...they supercede tradition, expectation or twisted family habits.

Answer 2

When any two families come together to form a new family -- aka marriage -- one family is going to think the other is "too touchy feely" while that family finds the first "cold and overly formal". Each spouse's family is going to continue doing things as they always have; they will never 'see the error of their' ways and become more like the other spouse's family.

However, the new spouses CAN control the way thing are done in the new family which they have formed. Husband and wife will have to decide for themselves whether this new family will do mouth-kissing, hugging, hand-shaking, cheek-kissing ... whatever custom they care to establish. Then they teach their children to graciously tolerate different customs while maintaining their own.

About the germ issue, I don't even want to TOUCH a toddler, much less kiss it on the lips. They are FILTHY little animals, constantly putting their hands into nasty places and then into their mouths. But if these people are willing risk kissing the germ infested little beast, so be it.

Answer 3

I can see why your neighbor wouldn't want people kissing her child on the lips. It is a little inappropriate I think and even more inappropriate since she has asked them not to do it. The only people who should be aloud to do things like that are mom and dad and maybe grandma and grandpa. Personally, other then when mom and dad do that, I think it's a little gross--nobody knows what those people have been doing, eating, etc. That person could have had a beer and then went up and kissed the kid on the lips or someone could have had their dog lick them on the mouth after it licked itself and then they come up and kiss your kid on the mouth---thats a little sick. I know how she feels, and I hope for the kid's sake that their family realizes it's not a very appropriate thing to do.

Answer 4

Well first of all in the family I do not believe there is anything wrong with it. It is only natural for toddlers to want to kiss you on the lips because that is what they have been taught---people kiss with lips.

I personally do not do it because I am a germ freak myself. And none of my children even attempt to kiss my lips anymore. In fact the very thought of it send my two oldest into panics...I like to torture them LOL. But really there are not that many germs involved in a quick kiss. Chances are anything he would be exposed to through lip to lip contact he would be exposed to just being around them anyway.

As far as dealing with them she just has to let them know that whether or not they do it with other people in the family this is her child and they need to respect her wishes as a parent. If they do not then they are not going to be allowed to have any physical contact with her son. They can still be part of his life just not in an affectionate way.

Answer 5

I think it's sad that in today's society kissing people on the lips is frowned upon. When I was growing up, we always kissed each other on the lips...it was innocent, you know? And about the whole germs thing....unless they're sick or something I don't think the toddler could get sick either. Everyone has their beliefs though...but I personally don't see what all the fuss is about.

Answer 6

I wouldn't call the kissing inappropriate (whether it's a good idea is another matter) but I agree with her being upset about her wishes being ignored. If one of the relatives is carrying around an illness without knowing it, the neighbor is the one who's going to have to deal with a sick child, not them. Regardless of how long they've done it, they should stop if the mother asks them to.

Answer 7

I agree. Toddlers have cheeks, forehead, necks, chins....take your pick and kiss away.............but.......stay away from the "lips".

In my opinion it is inappropriate and there is the "germ factor".

As far as germs go.....think of all the germs in a persons mouth. Who knows what germs are being passed from the last person they kissed on the lips.
Kind of like drinking out of the same glass. I don't think toddlers should be allowed to do this either. "germs"

Besides........Why are they so determined to kiss this child on the lips.???????

Stay away from lips...or....Don't kiss the child....is what I would tell them. (in a nice but firm way of course.)

Answer 8

My family is extremely close and my husband's isn't, so I can understand what your neighbor is going through. I believe that it's important to show love through actions, like hugging, cuddling, and kissing often. I kiss my toddler on the lips and she kissing me back on the lips. Unfortunately, my dad still kissing me on the lips sometimes. It's not like we make out or anything, just a quick peck. This sometimes makes me uncomfortable, but that's him and he loves me. If the child asks them to quit, then they should quit, but I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching a child affection.

Answer 9

The mother is overprotective. I'm sure this little toddler is picking boogers and eating them... so what's the problem about kisses on the lips? She needs to realize that the child will get germs no matter what.

Answer 10

Well i don't think that its okay to kiss a todller on the lips all the time because my grandma's son and my sun't son died when they were a toddler from a infection that they caught i nthe mouth from getting kissed but o nthe other hand i understand what the family on the husband's side is feeling they are just showing their affection but they can also show their affection by huggin oor kissing on the cheek.

Answer 11

I think it's inappropriate and icky. They MUST follow the wishes of the child's mother. That's ridiculous. She needs to talk with her husband about not allowing them to be around the child if they cannot obey her wishes. It's more than about kissing on the lips, it's about a power struggle and doing what a mother wants for her child. There is a much bigger issue than kissing that needs to be dealt with here.