My fiancee and I just decided to get married in about 3 months. I asked my best friend for 10 years to be my Maid of Honor, and another good friend to be my co-maid of honor. I want them both to be a huge part in my day they both mean so much to me, but in different ways. My longest friend, got extremely upset with me, just about hung up on me when I told her about the other one, and I haven't heard from her since (this was about a week ago). Its my day! I can do what I want right? Should I just keep on like nothing is wrong? Should I call her? HELP!!!
2006-06-13 06:12:26 · 12 answers · asked by anotherbride910 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She is so selfish! How dare she! It is your day and you should have what you want. If she really cared about you, she would accept your decision. As it is, it'll make it easier on her to have someone else to help. Being a maid-of-honor is very stressful (of course being a bride is even more stressful). If she can't put her issues aside that let her act like a child and do not reward her behavior. I've actually suggested this to a number of friends who couldn't decide who to chose. I hope you have an amazing wedding (with or without her) and a wonderful and blessed marriage. Good luck and God bless.
2006-06-13 08:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation without the drama. Luckily my main maid of honor was married. So she was my matron of honor and they other gal was my maid of honor.
This is your day. You can do what you want. And you need to explain this to ms drama queen. if she still wants to throw a tempertantrum try to let go the idea of her being in your wedding. The decision is yours and yours alone to make. If she can't be mature and respect your wishes she doesn't deserve the honor.
Just a little history because that is what I do and I'm a nerd.
The idea of a maid of honor or a best man dates back a long time when marriages were still arranged. If something tragic were to happen say to the bride then the maid of honor would be given to the groom to marry. And vice versa. So when you choose your maid of honor you are basically saying that if something should happen to me I trust you to take care of the man I love in the best ways you know how. And right now it sounds to me this girl can't handle that.
2006-06-13 08:40:52 · answer #2 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your day in terms that the celebration is about you and your beloved. But it isn't just YOUR day, that is a little childish - imagine using that in an argument....and how that sounds like something a little girl would say.
Your best friend of ten years feels disrespected, and rightly so. You should have asked instead of told. You need to resolve this if she is one of your best friends. Call her and tell her how you feel, ask how she feels and ask if you can come to some compromise, such as - she will be the "lead" maid of honor - which will stand next to you in the ceremony, give the toast, help you get dressed.....give her the option to be the lead, and make the other friend an "assistant" to the MOH. See if you can work something out. Just don't go into it all" ME ME ME IT'S MY DAY" you will make her feel like S**T.
2006-06-13 07:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by irishcreaminator83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where as I understand why she might get upset she is acting pretty childish about the whole thing. If she was going to get upset she could have done it privately. I find it odd that you are close to both these girls however they aren't apparently close. Perhaps your long time friend is jealous of the relationship you have with the other girl. Never the less to answer your question yes it is your day and you do whatever you want. If she doesn't like it them she doesn't have to be part of it. Don't be bullied in to changing one little thing about your wedding. Its your day. Share it with those you love who want to be there to support you.
2006-06-13 07:06:04 · answer #4 · answered by amyclay350 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maid of Honor is simply a title. By having two, you're allowing them to share responsibilities so that they can both enjoy the day as well. She needs to respect your choice, because it is your day, but if her partial/non-participation will ruin your day, I would suggest taking away the titles. Express to them both that because you want them both there, you'd like to have them both as bridesmaids, and then choose someone like your mom, sister, aunt, or another respected woman in your family to be your maid of honor if you feel that you must have one.
2006-06-13 08:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call her and explain that both her and the other girl mean the world to you and you want them both included and that you choose her to be the main MOH for a reason. If she doesnt want to help you or be included than it is her loss and she will regret it later. Explain to her it is your decision and this is the way you want your wedding. A true friend will understand and be supportive.
2006-06-13 06:29:07 · answer #6 · answered by EB&Js 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the identical issue. I decided on my quality buddy that I knew considering that I used to be in eighth grade. All went good. Until years later my sister got here to me and confessed that she used to be overwhelmed and harm that she used to be only a brides maid and no longer the maid of honor. I would see the ache in her face and my center sunk in my chest. How would I be so self absorbed to not see this whilst it used to be going down.? How would I harm my sister so badly? How would I decide upon a buddy over my sister? I used to be puzzling over what the hell I used to be considering whilst I made the alternative to opt for a buddy over my sister. That used to be the largest remorse of my existence. Really. My sister and I are very near. My friendship with my buddy nonetheless does exist however we don't seem to be near. My sister is my quality buddy. I made a colossal mistake.I have apologized to her up one facet and down the opposite. She would absolutely see that it pained me to harm her and all is good now. But, the proposal of her being harm for years over what I had so thoughtlessly performed nonetheless makes my center sink. Friends come and pass. Sisters are for existence. Please be trained from my mistake and opt for your sister.
2016-09-09 00:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would but be calm about it. Tell her that she is will be the main MofH and that the other one is a back up incase she gets sick or something comes up. I would have done the same thing for my wedding.. it is your day, and tell her what is up but in a very nice tactful way. good luck.!! :)
2006-06-13 06:18:16 · answer #8 · answered by laurieprentice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call her and say something like you hoped she had time to cool down and was willing to talk to you. You hadn't intended her to be upset and are hoping things can be normal again. Re-explain about your reasons. Hopefully she'll be more mature this time.
2006-06-13 13:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by daisy519 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
save money - get married at the court house and have a nice reception somewhere else! Use the big bucks for high ticket items or downpayment for home---
2006-06-13 06:43:54 · answer #10 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋