okay... my boyfriend is 19 and im 17. im usually more mature than he is. when we are having romantic moments he tends to spoil them by doing something stupid. how can i get him to grow up a little?
also he doesnt like to show public affection too much. how can i get him to feel more comfortable with it?
2006-06-13 05:56:38 · 8 answers · asked by arctic_fire12 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One thing you must remember...is you can't change a person to what you want him/her to be. Your bf prefers to not show public affection should be okay especially if he satisfies you otherwise. And I've also learned that ladies mature alot faster than the guys up until 40 years of age and then the guys really start getting the message. (...and let me add that this is 'in general'). The bottom line for a man especially that young is getting sex. But if he is doing something stupid to spoil your romantic moments, he just may be embarassed to show that vulnerable side of himself. His outlook in being a man can be very different from what you want in a man. Both of you are very young, this is the time for exploration and not perfection. He may have some thoughts of moments that you ruined for him as well. So I take it that his experiences in the romantic arena is all new and unblemished. For that matter, your's should be too. Young love - it's only the beginning. Remember, never force someone, but you can talk to them about your feelings and their view and feelings. Then perhaps they can start to try 'new things' that they weren't comfortable with just because you care.
2006-06-13 06:16:12 · answer #1 · answered by rightbackatcha! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine is not an answer; only more questions.
You should ask why he doesn't want to show public affection.
Most people have hidden fears which they cover over by some sort of behavior. If he refuses to show a gentle intimacy when you are together, why does he behave in such a way?
Why do you wish to change him?
You seem to want something that he is not ready to give or he just isn't capable of developing at the moment.
What are your choices?
You can continue with your train of thought and try to change his behavior which generally leads to him resenting you. Or, you can wait patiently for him to grow to a point at which time he is ready to face his fears and develop. Remember though that he may develop in a manner that is not what you are looking for. This is neither right or wrong it just is.
Last question; can you accept this?
2006-06-13 13:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by Nathan F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encouragement. When he starts to spoil the moment, just sweetly say that you like what he was doing. "It's a turn on". "It feels good." "I like it when you do that." Just do it in a gentle and sweet manner and don't repremand him for spoiling it. Let him know it feels good to you. Ease him into it gently. He may not be comfortable showing affection (parental upbringing, trying to be masculine)
If he doesn't start to come around, then maybe you should re-think your interest in your boyfriend and think of him as a friend.
2006-06-13 13:03:00 · answer #3 · answered by Susan C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bout him being romantic tell him how you feel.
with the public affection i don't know how to help you with that sorry.
2006-06-13 13:02:50 · answer #4 · answered by sweet heart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a present
2006-06-13 12:59:28 · answer #5 · answered by workinman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on and don't try to change him.
2006-06-13 13:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by wishaun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut him Off... Then he'll see what he is missing!
2006-06-13 13:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by ♥♥Soon to Be Mrs.F♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give up. You can't change him!
2006-06-13 13:00:56 · answer #8 · answered by pamela_d_99 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋